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With Easter weekend quickly approaching, it's time to share a few more of our favorite Easter activities. So today we are sharing another episode of our Kids Talk series. Breya and Jay got together to make Easter shaped pancakes. Watch episode 27, Easter Pancakes!
Don't miss our Easter posts. Click the links below to see our Peeps Show vlog episodes
and our recommended Easter books for kids!
We are so excited for Easter weekend. Some of the family will be coming home. There will be the dying of eggs, egg hunts, Easter baskets, Easter dinner, and of course, Easter Sunday worship! Resurrection Sunday, as some call it, is when we celebrate the risen Savior, Jesus Christ. After His death on the cross, and three days in a tomb, Jesus is raised from the dead on Sunday morning.
Happy Easter!
- jay
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One of our favorite Easter treats are the original Peeps, from the Just Born candy company, in Bethlehem, PA. Growing up, Peeps, was one of Jay's most favorite items in his Easter basket. The yellow, pink, and blue chicks and bunnies were stables. It didn't take long to share the love of Peeps with the kids.
In 2017, we started a web series called, Kids Talk. The first episode was, The Peeps Show. In the episode, we taste-tested the new Peeps flavors. That year, we tried Party Cake, Sour Twist, Fruit Punch, and Sour Watermelon. We had a blast trying each flavor. Watch the episode below.
We returned in 2019, with part two of the Peeps Show. Along with new flavors, the Peeps company introduced a handful of new products along with their new flavors. So you know we had to give them a try! Let's watch part two of The Peep Show!
Five new flavors hit store shelves in 2020, which meant we had to come back with another episode of the The Peeps Show. This time 'round we had a chance to try Cotton Candy, Hot Tamales, Root Beer Float, Blue Raspberry, and Chocolate Pudding. Check out episode 22 of Kids Talk, and The Peep Show!
Have you tried any of the flavors mentioned in the above episodes? What did you think? Do you have a favorite? Or do you prefer the original Peeps yellow, pink, and blue? Leave a comment below.
And with three new flavors for 2024, watch for a new episode coming soon. - jay & amy
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Like Christmas, the story of Easter is one to be told. Easter is the story of our hope in the death and resurrection of Jesus. From the cross to the grave, Jesus stands in our place, bears our sin, endures our punishment, and steps into life. And, he does all of this because he loves us.
When our kids were little, we looked for books that helped us share the story of Easter in a way they could understand. Each year we would take these books off the bookshelf and read them throughout the Easter season. Three of our favorites include; The Legend of the Easter Egg, Amon's Adventure (part of the Jotham's Journey series that we love), and The Parable of the Lily.
Reading to kids is an important part of their development. Being able to share with them the story of Easter allows us to share our faith and talk about Jesus, God, and the amazing gift of hope that they give. Below we have collected a few of our favorite Easter storybooks for kids. We have provide a cover image, a summary of each book, and links for purchase.
If you find yourself interested in one or more of the titles below, you can order them directly for this page. Simply click on the cover image or button link with the description. These affiliate links connect you with Amazon for safe and secure ordering. As Amazon Associates, we receive a small percentage of your purchase. And don't worry, the price you pay is the price Amazon shares. There are no additional costs of hidden fees. So take a few minutes to read about a few of our favorite Easter books for kids.
With Easter only a month away, don't wait, take the time to share the story of Easter and Jesus' gift with your kiddos. Our kids might be all grown up, but we'll be sharing Easter with our grandkids. Yes, a new generation will hear about Jesus and his gift of hope!
Are you familiar with any of the books we have recommended? What are your favorite titles? Take a minute and share in the comments about your favorite Easter book(s) for kids! Happy Easter! - jay & amy
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Easter is just around the corner, and like Christmas, it's a pretty special time for the Higham family. So we're getting ready by gathering together some of our favorite family resources, activities, snacks, vlogs, and fun.
And we're kicking things off with three Easter activities that are fun for the whole family. Take a few minutes to discover Resurrections Eggs, Holy Week and Easter Ideas from Focus on the Family, and the "You've been Egged" neighborhood activity. Then be sure to check in for more Easter ideas, resources, and fun for you and your family! It's going to be a great Easter! Resurrection Eggs
Celebrate Holy Week
You've Been Egged
We have more Easter fun coming in the next couple of blog posts, so be sure to check back for some fresh content and material!
Happy Easter! - jay & amy
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Do your kids have a smartphone?
In March of 2013, the Pew Internet & American Life Project, said that "78 percent of young people, ages 12 to 17, now have cellphones. Nearly half of those are smartphones, a share that's increasing steadily..." as reported by the Huff Post, Tech page, in the March 12 post titled, "Teenagers Increasingly Use Smartphones To Access The Web: Report" That was then. According to PEW Research article posted on January 5th, 2024, "nearly all U.S. teens say they use the internet every day (96%). And the share of teens who report being online “almost constantly” has roughly doubled since 2014-2015 (24% vs. 46%)." (Teens and Internet, Device Access Fact Sheet, Pew Research Center.)
The capabilities of the smartphone are almost endless as manufacturers continue to discover new advancements in technology. With every release of a new phone, another huge step forward is taken. Like wise, mobile apps exist for just about everything. And if it doesn't exist now, it will tomorrow.
The smartphone is a great tool, when used wisely. But left to the natural devices of the teenage mind, the smartphone can be just a dangerous as an unmonitored computer. With powerful browsing capabilities and the internet access at their figure tips, you can search and view just about anything and everything on the web.
As parents, we should know what is on our child's phone. From the contacts in their address book, to the apps they've downloaded, to the sites they visit, we should be aware of everything and everywhere the phone goes. And just as we would check the browsing history on a desktop, we should be checking the browsing history on our kids smartphone.
As we work with students, parents, and families, we are often asked about cell phones and digital usage. Out of a concerned for how their kids use cell phones and devices, they're looking for suggestions. I shared with her these 4 thoughts.
5. Check Their History Regularly. With your settings and perimeters in place, make a point to check your kids phone regularly. Using the settings within the phone you can view recent browsing history and searches, as well as searches on social media platforms. You should also scroll through their social media feeds to see the content that the algorithms are gathering and showing. And don't forget their email, including Junk Mail and the Trash.
Also be aware of the photos in their photo albums. New phones/devices now include deleted and hidden folders that require password or fingerprint/facial recognition. It sounds intrusive, but it is easier than ever before to access content that is not safe for kids.
We would love to say that these practices were enough to keep our kids safe. For as easy as it is to find questionable content, it's just as easy for others to send it to your kids. We've learned that perimeters, guidelines, and restrictions only go so far. To help your kids navigate the digital world, you must work on having open communication and persistence. Talk openly and honestly with your kids. Stay current with software updates and privacy settings. Talk and learn from other parents.
It's okay to be a proactive parent. Knowing what your kids are doing when they are on their mobile devices is important. Policing where they've been and where the go, is good. There's nothing wrong with checking up and knowing what their doing online. Because, whether you realize it or not, someone else probably is. But that is a topic for another time. We recommend these resources
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What do you think? We'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback. Share what you do and how you handle the issue of smartphones and internet usage with your kids. Got a couple of good ideas, share them in the comments for others to read and use. And as always, thanks for reading!
- jay & amy
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If your teens are anything like our teens, or the millions across the nation, they're probably attached to their cell phones and/or whatever electronic device they have. In many ways cell phones and iPods and tablets are super helpful and can be great tools if used properly. But when not used properly, your child's device can potentially open the door to all sorts or questionable and dangerous possibilities.
Now we don't want to jump on the bandwagon of trashing technology and and condemning app developers for what they're creating. Instead, we want to offer parents a little help and insight that could help you be a little more aware of what your kids are able to do with their devices.
First, full disclosure. We decided to give our kids their cell phones between the ages of 12 and 13. We chose this time because this was when our kids participated in school and club sports or activities. They would either stay after school, or we would drop them off somewhere for practice. The phone was a way of communicating with us about pick up times or schedule changes. Each kid started with a used or refurbished device. Once they were working, and could afford paying for they own device, they were able to upgrade to a newer phone.
As parents, it is super important that we are aware of what your kids are looking at, what they're doing, and to whom and how they are communicating on their devices.
Let me offer a few suggestions that we have implemented in our home.
1. Only You should have access to your app purchasing accounts. If you are familiar with any app purchasing, you know you need an account that is linked to a credit card in order to purchase and download any app. In our house, there was one account for our app store and our kindle store, and Jay controlled it. Our kids did not have the password and could not purchase apps without parent approval. This simple step can eliminate many of the downloadable dangers run off the bat. In order for you child to download a desired app, they must come and ask you to do it. This leaves you in control of what's being downloaded.
3. Be Okay Saying, "NO".
Not all apps are good for your kids. In fact, many apps have age requirements or restrictions. These app settings are there to help protect kids. However, it's not hard to get around or bypass some of these settings. Be okay saying, NO, to apps that have suggested age restrictions, or apps that you are not comfortable with. We did not allow our kids to use certain social media apps because of age restrictions and of content concerns. We've also found it helpful to explain why we might say, NO, to a particular app. Remember, as parents, one of our jobs is to help our kids learn how to make wise and healthy decisions. Just saying, NO, doesn't teach our kids. It's just, No. But when we teach and disciple our kids by explaining our reasons for saying, NO, we plant seeds of discernment, trust, integrity, and accountability. Over time, and with consistent use, these seeds will grow our kids into fruitful young men and women.
With a little education and some diligent awareness, you can walk along side your child knowing you are doing your best to keep them safe.
With all of this, you must also be able to talk with your kids about technology, the internet, social media, apps, streaming services, and the good and bad of all of it. Being able to have open communication with your kids, especially your pre-teens and teens, is super important. If you missed our post on cultivating communication with your kids, you can click the link below. It might be a helpful read.
Thanks for reading
- jay & amy
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So here's the dilemma, you want to have a classic family game night, but like us the age range between your kids is makes game night a bit tricky. At one point our kiddos ranged between age 6 to age 17. We love family game night, but what game (or games) work for all ages?
Monoply? Love the game, but for a lot time our youngest had to be on someone's "team" in order to play. Candyland? Another great game, but the older guys aren't into it anymore. Scrabble? Yes, another classic game, but our younger ones still have a hard time spelling competitive words. Life? One of our favorites, but again, a bit too old for the youngest. So what does a family play?
We love family game night. There's nothing like gathering the whole crew around a table for an hour of game-time fun. The laughter and memories that are shared are precious. Even now, we look forward to playing games with our kids/young adults.
It's not always easy coming up with a game that the entire family can play. Age ranges, interests, attention, there are a number of things to consider when thinking and suggesting a game. We get it. But over the years, we've been able gather a collection of games that work for every age of your family.
This list includes games for the entire family, and games by age and genre. Card games, board games, outdoor games, classic games; a collection of some of our favorite games. And it's growing.
If you're looking for games for your next family game night, please be sure to visit our new Family Game Night storefront. Thanks to our partnership with Amazon, we are able to gather and share our favorite games with our readers. Our hope is to continue to grow this collection, adding more and more games that are family friendly and really fun to play. As we add games, we'll share a little review for each game, along with any tips or suggestions regarding the game.
Click on the link below to visit our Family Game Night storefront, where you can shop with Amazon. And remember, if you make a purchase using a link from our site, we receive a small percentage of the sale, at no additional cost to you. This helps us keep LifeintheHighamHouse.com up and running, so thank you for trusting us.
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Over the years, 27+ years of marriage plus a year of dating and a year of engagement, we have said, I Love You, thousands upon thousands of times. At the start of the day. At the end of the day. After something really good happened. In the midst of something bad happening. Saying, I love you, is one of the most comforting and reassuring ways to remind your spouse of how you feel. But for all the times we have said those three words to each other, we are learning, that it’s just not enough. We need to say, I love you, MORE!
It’s true, we say these words, a lot. But sometimes we need to hear these words more. The problems come when we find ourselves becoming too complacent or comfortable and we forget to say, I love you.
So with Valentine’s Day coming, this is a perfect time to remind ourselves to say, I love you. We have a few thoughts for why you should say, I love you, more.
It Feels Good.
It’s Comforting and Reassuring. It Unites You. It Fuels Your Soul. It Fills Your Love Tank. It Sparks the Romantic Fire. It Strengthens Through Tough Times. It Makes the Good Times Better. It Makes the Really Good Times Great. It Forgives. It Shows Grace. It Helps You Look Forward to the What’s Next.
For most of us, we could do better at saying, I love you, more often. We know we don’t say it enough, and should definitely say it more.
As we kick off this new week, let’s do better together, and try saying, I love you, to your spouse a little more. Here are a few ideas to try.
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Say I love you when you first wake up.
Say I love you as you leave the house for the day. Leave an, I love you, note someplace your spouse will find it. Send a text message half way through the day that say’s, I love you. Say, I love you, as soon as you get home after work. Say, I love you, as you go to bed.
It might sound simple, or like a no brainer, but think about it, how often do you say, I love you? Try it this week. Say, I love you as suggested above, and see if it changes anything about your relationship. We think it will.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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"This has never happened to me before. I've never let this happen. This will never happen again." These were the thoughts rolling through my head. I couldn't believe it, I was stuck on the side of the road.
It had been a great week. Amy and I (Jay), had been preparing to share about the Capernaum ministry with leaders at our area leaders and committee weekend. It's Friday morning so we picked up the rental car, finished last minute packing, double checked that we had everything we needed for the presentation, loaded the car, and were off. It was about a 5 hour and 10 minute drive to the camp where we were meeting. We've made this trip multiple times over the last couple of years. I can't say I can get to the camp directions free, but I'm getting pretty close. But we know the route. We know the highway exchanges, the towns we drive through, the restaurants we pass, and the gas station/restroom stops. All total, the trip, with stops, is a little over 6 hours. No problem. Except this time, we made the first leg of the trip with no stops. That's about 3 hours and a couple minutes. We never stopped. From the moment we left our drive way, we the exception of 2 short stop sign stops, we didn't stop. It was all green lights and highway.
The first leg of the trip is usually about an hour and twenty minutes, 83.3 miles. This is a restroom stop and a fuel refill if necessary. Oh, and there's a Bass Pro Shop Outdoor World and Chick-fil-A at this exit, so you know, sometimes you just gotta stop. This time, no stop. We were cruising.
The second leg takes us to one of our favorite areas in West Virginia, Nicholas County, home of Summersville Lake, the New River Gorge, and a Sheetz that we always stop at for...gas and restrooms. (And maybe a snack for the ride.) This is another hour and 50 minutes, and another 122 miles. If you're keeping count, that's approximately 3 hours and 20 minutes; 205 miles. (approximate)
Earlier that morning, when we picked up the rental, we were told the vehicle's fuel gauge was reading 5/8 filled. The estimated range was about 220 miles. The plan was to stop at the Sheetz where we would stretch our legs, visit the facilities, and refuel; then back on the road. No worries.
4.4 miles. I'll never forget those numbers. 4.4 miles. We know this route. And on this route, we exit RT 79 south and pick up RT 19 south. From this point, it's 25.8 minutes to the Sheetz. I checked the estimate fuel range on the dashboard of the rental; 37 miles. Perfect, 12 miles to spare, give or take.
The drive through this part of West Virginia is beautiful. If you enjoy mountains and valleys and epic landscapes, you'd love this part of the ride. I like this part of the ride. But I forgot, this part of the drive has a slight incline to it. In fact, most of the drive into Summersville is a gentle ride uphill. About 10 miles in, the little red line of the fuel gauge is struggling to stay above the the E.
We were 4.4 miles away from our destination.
A few minutes after sending my SOS, I get a phone call. It's roadside assistance confirming my request. But the call is spotty. I can barely make out what the guy is saying. The call is dropped. Ugh. So I go back to the app, find a number and call. After a few second of menu and numeric selections on my keypad, there's a voice. Nice.
We again confirm; name, account, vehicle, fuel. Great. Not great. The car is a rental, not covered under the policy. This is going to be expensive. At this point we're about 30 minutes into our dilemma. But with payment, help will be on it's way. Fine. We provide the necessary information and the voice on the other end of the phone says we will receive a text message letting us know who will be coming, a phone number of the company coming to help, and estimated arrival time. An hour and 20 minutes later, we were still stuck on the side of the highway, waiting for help.
We've been together almost 30 years. Married 28 years (in May). We have taken countless trips. Never. Never, have we allowed ourselves to run out of gas while traveling. And don't worry, the spiritual implications of all of this isn't lost on me. This will be an illustration in a future sermons, messages, and blog posts. But as we sat there we talked a little, laughed a little, and dealt with the frustration of the situation. I mean, what else are you to do in a situation like this. We thought we had enough gas to make it. We were wrong. 4.4 miles wrong.
We were approaching the 2 hour mark. No word from roadside assistance. After multiple calls, we learn they were having trouble securing assistance. Wow. Really? Time for a plan.
Fortunately, we were stuck by an exit. There wasn't much around us, but we got out of the vehicle, and looked around we realized that on our side of the highway was a WVDOH lot. At first we thought it was just a utility garage, but a WVDOH, surely we might find some help there. We left the vehicle, walked down the exit and across the road to the DOH garage. We found an employee and explained our situation. He said some times they have extra gas on site, but not today. I told them about our roadside assistance, or lack of. He said, "Oh, call J & J Body Shop, they can help." I looked them up. 7 miles away. Got a number. Got a person! Got help. (Yes, we realize this could have been our answer all along. Just hang in there. Like I said, the spiritual implications of all this isn't lost.)
First came a sweet old man in a late model pick up, like an old Ford Ranger 2-door with extended cab. He must have been in his 70's, and looked concerned. He yelled to us, "Do you need help?"
We could barely hear him over the highway noise. I thought, someone actually stopped to see if we were in need. I mean, he stopped what he was doing, where he was going, and offered assistance. Then I noticed the sticker of a cross behind the tint of his driver-side cab window. I smiled. Okay, God. As we explained that help was coming, our tow truck pulled up behind the rental. The old man gave me 2 thumbs up and a smile. As I turned towards the tow truck, a third vehicle pulled up. A WV Roadside Courtesy Vehicle. Help had arrived, and in unexpected form. When I had finally looked at the tow truck, I saw that it was covered in colorful puzzle pieces. I looked at Amy. Amy looked at me. No way.
After a quick exchange with the tow truck driver, he began pouring gas into the rental. Amy talked with the Courtesy Vehicle, thanked him for stopping, and dismissed him.
As we talked with the tow truck driver, we learned that this was their Autism Awareness rig. The owners have a family member with autism. They also have a breast cancer awareness rig. Can you believe it? It was like God was just pouring it on.
So often in life, we ask the why, or the why now. We look at our circumstances and wonder what's it all about? What's the point? How does it all fit together? We complain or stress or fear that we have done something to alter the story of our lives. Was it a mistake? Did we not hear God rightly? Have we fallen out of his favor or blessing or love or will?
We've talked, a lot lately, about that. For our lives, our family, our ministry. We lost one of our Capernaum students recently. It was unexpected. A few days after her passing, we received a call from the same family; the sister was now on life support with the same issue and it wasn't looking good. And we think, God, really? It's things like this that shake our faith. We have questions, doubts, fear. God, why?
With gas in the car, we signed some paperwork, thanked the driver, and drove 4.4 miles to that Sheetz. We topped off the tank; it's full now. Visited the restrooms and continued on, making a quick stop for dinner in Lewisburg, WV. As we sat at the table, we started talking about all of this; being stuck on the highway, our kids, Capernaum, ministry to students, church, our marriage, and our future ministry opportunities. So much has changed. How does it all fit?
I was reminded of Psalm 139:16, "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Psalm 139, is this outcry to God, acknowledging God as our incredible, loving creator. We are knit together, formed in the womb, fearfully and wonderfully made. And here in verse 16, the writer gives up this powerful thought, that before I took my first breath, before I was formed in the womb, I was known. And there it was written, every day, ordained by God. Before day one, he knew all my days. There is nothing that happens in our lives that he doesn't already know. No surprises. No moments of shock. No unexpected steps. Every day, from the first to the last, he knows. He ordained. He wrote them, each one of them. And while there might be the hard times, really challenging times, times when we think we can't go another day, God knows. He always knows. It's hard to be reminded that God is there, especially when things are hard. Yet, it's easy to yell at God when we think it isn't fair. But our God is a God of love and a God of hope. A God who wants us to lean into him, to trust him, to know that he is there for us.
As I type this up, thinking about the God-sighting moments of our excursion...I can't help but notice,
We were heading to a training weekend with Young Life, to talk about the ministry to students with disabilities. Specifically, how we need to grow an awareness and serve along side these amazingly gifted individuals, a practice that we are still learning. We've worked hard to prepare for this presentation and yet still feel a little inadequate to lead. But here we are, stuck on the side of the highway, as an autism awareness tow truck comes to rescue us. And, in a season of life that has brought us our fair share of confusion, question, doubt, anxiety, fear, and wonder, we continue to watch as God patiently directs each next step. He's here. He's providing. Not always in ways where we think we got this, "let me just get my roadside assistance to help us." But in the little things; like a WVDOH employee who knows who to call, an old man in an old truck with a cross sticker in the window, and in a car stuck on the side of a highway. Everything fits. And everything has it's purpose. Sometimes it helps to get stuck. Forever in His Grace. - jay
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Do your kids talk to you? Not just the passing words of greetings or grunts of affirmation when you pass each other in the kitchen. Do your kids talk to you, really talk to you?
While heading to pick up our daughter from school, something we haven't done much lately, a strange awareness of the passing of time was felt. Ever since our son got his drivers license, he has been the primary mode of transportation to and from school. That has freed us up from driving, unless we need our second vehicle; then we drop off or pick up. Minus a short window of a time where our older boys rode a school bus, we ever always driven or walked our kids to and from school. We loved doing that. We loved having that time with them in the car. That time in the car became a sweet time to talk and be with our kids.
This recent drive to the school stirred the thought of how we talk with our kids, which led to this question, "How do you cultivate communication with your kids?"
Too often, we hear the comment that kids and parents don't talk; don't communicate with each other. There might be the hello and goodbye when passing, or the occasional question when one needs to have permission to do something, but what about real conversation? As youth workers, we've always desired open communication with our kids. Hearing from parents and students that communication is hard, we set out to create space where our kids felt comfortable talking with us. And not just filling us in with what's happening at school, but comfortable to talk about relationships, struggles, friends, teachers, and anything else that they might want to talk about. For us, we would much rather they come to us with their questions, emotions, and curiosities. So we determined to create an atmosphere where communication was welcomed and encouraged. We told our kids that we wanted them to feel like they could talk to us about anything. Having worked with students, there wasn't much that we haven't heard, discussed, or counseled. Nothing they said would surprise or shock us. In a way, working with students helped to prepare us for the adolescent years. So we set out, both with our words and our actions, to create a space where our kids felt like they could come to us with whatever topic or issue they had. Here's what we did. Say it and say it again...
Before we were anywhere near the teenage years, we made it a point to talk to our kids. In the car, at the dinner table, before bed, when building LEGOs; communication was important. We would remind them over and over again that they could talk to us, that we loved them and we wanted them to know that we were a safe place for them. As they grew we continued to remind them how important it is to talk. As they stepped into their teenage years, we said it would be better that they share things with us rather than we finding out from someone else. That meant both the good things and not so good things. We told them that they could come to us no matter what. We wanted them to hear from us, over and over, so they knew they could come to us.
Have a Planned Response...
Do you know how you will respond to your kids when they come to you? It's a bit of an ambiguous question. How do you know how you will respond when you don't know what you're responding to, right? But you can.
As a youth worker, Jay told his students that if they ever needed anything, he would be there, no matter what. And in the moment, no questions asked, he would show up, then the situation would be discussed later. We decided to apply that to how we raised our kids. We wanted them to know that they could call on us, come to us, and we would be available, no matter what, no questions asked. Then we would circle back after everyone has had a chance to recover. The point was to be there for them in the minute without the fear of how we would respond. When we did get together to talk, we practiced the art of listening; we gave them the chance to tell us what was happened. Our response then is one that comes from a desire to guide and lead our kids instead of hammering them with what they might have done wrong and any punishments that might follow. Our goal in raising our kids is/was to help them grow and mature, to think through their actions and reactions, to be able to make healthy decisions, and to learn from their mistakes. This is your planned response, not a heavy hand and condemnation that stifles their growth, but to navigate the situation so they are learning and maturing. A planned response is just that, taking a moment to respond to our kids with a calm wisdom and grace that allows for a healthy, appropriate respond. Nurture Spaces and Times for Kids to talk...
Once you make the commitment to cultivate communication with your kids, the work of nurturing spaces and times for your kids to talk is your next step. By this we mean creating rhythms within your family time where your kids know they can talk and share with you. This is designating times and places where everyone knows, "Hey, I can talk about this here." For us this was the dinner hour, around the table. It was in the car, driving to and from the school. On road trips to visit family or for vacation. It was at bedtime, decompressing after a long day. It was on the sofa after a tough day at school. For each of these examples, we have established that this is a safe place or a familiar time where our kids can talk. Dinner was a time to tell stories, be funny, laugh, and talk about our day. Bedtime was a sweet time to wrap up the day and look forward to the next day.
Think of a time or times within your family rhythms that offer the opportunity to talk and share as a family. Consider the drive time to and from school or to and from the grocery store as a time to turn down the radio and have a conversation. Use bedtime as a chance to talk about the highs and lows of the day. And as we build these times and spaces, not only are we showing them that it's safe to talk with you, but you're creating the invitation that you are approachable whenever they need to talk with you. Two tools or Practices to master...
One of the best tools we have, thanks to Amy, is the Question. Amy is the Queen of Questions. She has mastered the art of asking questions that get our kids talking. If you want your kids to talk, especially as teenagers, you have to learn to ask the right questions. These are open questions that require more than 'Yes' or 'No' answers. Come up with a handful of leading questions to have on hand. As you ask your questions and be ready with a few follow up questions.
The second tool, or practice really, is Listening. Learning the practice of listening is super important. You want your kids to know that your communication goes both ways. If you want your kids to hear and listen to you, your counsel, your encouragement; you have to show them that you are listening to them. Practice the skill of listening. Hearing your kids builds trust and tells your kids that what they have to say matters. As they become adults, that trust keeps the door open for future conversations. Watch the almost daily vlog
We are blessed to have the relationships with our kids where they know they can talk. And we are blessed that we can talk with our kids. As our kids become young adults, having them reach out or call, and share with us what's happening in their lives. And call they do.
Being able to talk with your kids, your spouse, is a skill that you will want to have in your toolbox as a parent or spouse. Work together to cultivate communication with your kids. What about you? What do you do to cultivate communication with your kids? Share your practices and helps in the comments below. family resources
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Welcome to the Life in the Higham House , we are glad you are visiting. As a family of 7, we have had our fair share of adventures. We share our stories with the hope of passing along what we have learned, what we love, and what God is doing in our lives to encourage you and your family. But we love to hear from our readers, so please share your thought in the comment section of each post.
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