Do You Know the Apps On Your Kids Phone?

2/19/2024

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If your teens are anything like our teens, or the millions across the nation, they're probably attached to their cell phones and/or whatever electronic device they have. In many ways cell phones and iPods and tablets are super helpful and can be great tools if used properly. But when not used properly, your child's device can potentially open the door to all sorts or questionable and dangerous possibilities.

Now we don't want to jump on the bandwagon of trashing technology and and condemning app developers for what they're creating. Instead, we want to offer parents a little help and insight that could help you be a little more aware of what your kids are able to do with their devices.

First, full disclosure. We decided to give our kids their cell phones between the ages of 12 and 13. We chose this time because this was when our kids participated in school and club sports or activities. They would either stay after school, or we would drop them off somewhere for practice. The phone was a way of communicating with us about pick up times or schedule changes. Each kid started with a used or refurbished device. Once they were working, and could afford paying for they own device, they were able to upgrade to a newer phone.

You also need to know, Jay, is a tech junkie. He sees technology as a tool to make life and work better, easier, more efficient. He dreams of having a smart house where he can control everything within the house from his iPad. Technology is a good thing.

However, as technology advances, so do the dangers. And too often, it's we parents who get left behind. Either we don't have the time, make the time, or don't know how to keep up with the ever advancing pace of updates and upgrades.

But as parents, it is super important that we are aware of what our kids are looking at, what they're doing, and to whom and how they are communicating on their devices. While the majority of apps on our devices are safe and relatively harmless, even the most innocent app can lead to dangerous usage. So the question is this, Do YOU know what apps are on your child's devices?

As parents, it is super important that we are aware of what your kids are looking at, what they're doing, and to whom and how they are communicating on their devices.

Let me offer a few suggestions that we have implemented in our home.

1. Only You should have access to your app purchasing accounts.
If you are familiar with any app purchasing, you know you need an account that is linked to a credit card in order to purchase and download any app. In our house, there was one account for our app store and our kindle store, and Jay controlled it. Our kids did not have the password and could not purchase apps without parent approval. This simple step can eliminate many of the downloadable dangers run off the bat. In order for you child to download a desired app, they must come and ask you to do it. This leaves you in control of what's being downloaded.

2. Learn about the app in question before just downloading it.
It is incredibly prudent that you take the time to read about the app and what it does and what is has access to, BEFORE you download it. Try to understand what it is that the app is offering. Is it a game? Is it a game where others can play with your child via internet connections? Is it an educational app? Is it a video or movie app? Is it a music app? Does it stream internet content? Are there in-app purchase features? Does it require wifi to run? Does it use data and connect to the internet?

Also look to see what the app wants permission to access. Many apps ask to know your location, or link to content like your contacts, or send you notifications. Some apps will go as far as asking for a credit card to enable certain features or in app purchases. Some apps connect with other users and offer the experience multiple players. This can introduce your child to a world of possible contacts. And some apps gather information about you and/or your child and their device usage. This information can then be used in marketing and suggestive content.

You need to know what the app will do before the download

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3. Be Okay Saying, "NO".
Not all apps are good for your kids. In fact, many apps have age requirements or restrictions. These app settings are there to help protect kids. However, it's not hard to get around or bypass some of these settings. Be okay saying, NO, to apps that have suggested age restrictions, or apps that you are not comfortable with. We did not allow our kids to use certain social media apps because of age restrictions and of content concerns.

We've also found it helpful to explain why we might say, NO, to a particular app. Remember, as parents, one of our jobs is to help our kids learn how to make wise and healthy decisions. Just saying, NO, doesn't teach our kids. It's just, No. But when we teach and disciple our kids by explaining our reasons for saying, NO, we plant seeds of discernment, trust, integrity, and accountability. Over time, and with consistent use, these seeds will grow our kids into fruitful young men and women.

4. Make random spot checks a practice.
Don't assume that your 'good' kid is always making 'good' decisions. Much can happen behind the closed doors of the internet. It is our practice to ask for our kids devices randomly and check their activity. Random is key as there are a number of actions that can be deleted from the device. We check their texting; their contacts, who they're texting, what are they texting about, and when they are texting. We check their browser history; where they're going, what they're seeing, and what they might be downloading from the internet. We check certain social apps to see what pictures and status updates are being posted, viewed, liked, and shared. We check what their friends and followers are saying, sharing, and liking. I also check their email folders to see what might be coming to their inbox.

The other thing I check, is for personal accounts that they might have started and kept hidden. Whether it's with the App Store, an email, or a secret social media account, you have to be thorough and careful not to take what you don't see or don't know as good decision making. To assume that because you don't see it, means they aren't doing, could leave you with a little egg on your face when you discover they've been hiding stuff from you.

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With a little education and some diligent awareness, you can walk along side your child knowing you are doing your best to keep them safe.

Allowing your kids to use electronic devices can be a little scary and intimating, but it doesn't have to be. With a little education and some diligent awareness, you can walk along side your child knowing you are doing your best to keep them safe. And while there are a great number of topics relating to technology, social media, the digital world, and your child's devices that we could still talk about, (and maybe we will in future posts) we hope these thoughts help you begin to think about what your role as a parent looks like when it comes to technology and how your children use their devices.

If the topic of technology and apps and device usages is something that strikes accord with you, let us know. One of the things we hoped to accomplish as we raised our five kids, was to teach them the value of being able to discern the dangers that come with a world that is shrinking faster and faster every day. As parents, we believed that we needed to understand the world around us; how it was changing and how it impacted our kids.

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With all of this, you must also be able to talk with your kids about technology, the internet, social media, apps, streaming services, and the good and bad of all of it. Being able to have open communication with your kids, especially your pre-teens and teens, is super important. If you missed our post on cultivating communication with your kids, you can click the link below. It might be a helpful read.

Don't be afraid to step into the digital world with your kids. Do your homework. Talk to parents who have already been there. Talk with your kids. Talk as parents to each other. Stay on the same page. Know your values. But be flexible as your kids grow.

We have shared a number of resources on this blog post that we have found helpful in navigating the digital world with kids. These books will give you insight, ideas, and hope as you guide your kids. You can purchase these book by clicking on the cover. These affiliate links will take you to Amazon, where you can safely and securely place your order. Life in the Higham House is an Amazon Associate. We receive a small percentage of the sale without any additional cost to you. This helps us as we share content like this blog post with you.

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Thanks for reading

- jay & amy

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FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS