Welcome back to part three of our mini-series, It Doesn't Make Sense. The series comes following a three part teaching series at our church, The Church of Eleven22, which wrapped up on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. In case you missed the first two part, this series is by far, one of the best presentations of the need for awareness and balanced spiritual help. The leadership of COE22, present a real, practical, and Biblical approach to the topic of mental and emotional health.

If you are checking in here with part three and haven't listened to the first two parts, let encourage you to pause, then click on the links below to watch/listen to Weeks One & Two. Then come back here and listen to the final installment.

As I've said, this is one of the best, most thought producing, most helpful presentations of the need for seeking help. As you listen to part three, Pastor Brit leads a discussion with three mental health professional who marry faith and science to offer real, applicable help. It's really good!

​As with our first two sessions, listen to the bumper video first, then the message. I hope God speaks to you as you listen!

We posted these videos with the hope that they might encourage you, while offering help for wherever you find yourself. I have served as a youth worker in the church for 30 years, 25 of those years in full time ministry. While I have training, I am not a professional counselor. It's why I am not elaborating or commenting on the video and the series, other than to say, here is a really helpful resource that I hope might help you or someone you love.

As part of our discipleship at The Church of Eleven22, each weekly message is followed with a podcast featuring the preaching pastor and guests that dive a little deeper into the topic. The podcast is called, Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin. Tomorrows blog post will feature the three podcast episodes that go with the series. Like the messages, these podcasts are super helpful, so I hope that you will give them a listen.

Week One's message from Pastor Joby was incredible, and the perfect way to kick off the series. Today we are continuing to share the series, It Doesn't Make Sense, with Week Two's message from Pastor Britt. Pastor Britt shares his journey towards mental and emotional health, through a powerfully honest testimony.

Like yesterday's post, I suggest that you begin with the bumper video and testimony from Tyler, a member of our COE22 family. Tyler's incredible testimony share the power that God has to chance how we think, feel and live.

After watching Tyler's testimony, take time to watch Pastor Britt's message. Again I would encourage you to set aside time to watch Week Two's message. And I pray that again, you would be open to hearing Pastor Britt's message.

In His Grace,

​- jay

Click on the graphics below to watch the videos.

Emotional and mental help has been an important topic for discussion these last couple of years. And over the years we have heard a number of sermons, seminars, and presentations about emotional and mental health and the importance of discussion and awareness. But with so many of these presentations we have found that most fall to one side of the conversation or the other. It's either all about the mental and emotional and finding the power from within to get healthy. On the other side the conversation it's Jesus, Jesus, Jesus; and having enough faith to overcome the struggles one might face. But an even, balanced presentation of faith and health is one that seems to be lacking. Until now.

This past Sunday, our church, The Church of Eleven22, wrapped up a three week series called, It Doesn't Make Sense. To say it was amazing wouldn't be saying enough. It was by far, one of the most balanced, Biblical presentations of Jesus, faith, and mental and emotional health. Never have I been so aware of the need for mental and emotional awareness and health.

In my many years as a youth pastor, I have read dozens of articles and books, and participated in a number of seminars and conferences that all dealt with the need for the balance of Jesus and faith and appropriate counseling. This series summed up and shared that hope and healing comes through Jesus.

Here's the thing, if you are struggling with mental and emotional health, or you think you're all good (though you're probably not), you need to hear these three sermons. So here's what I want to do. Over the next three days, I am going to post the bumper video and the message from the three weeks of the series. The bumper video is a testimony video that was played before the message. Each message is between 45 and 55 minutes. I want you to hear each one by itself.

Here's what I suggest. Set aside some time where you can sit down and watch both videos, about an hour and 15 minutes. Start with the bumper, then the message. Then listen. I mean, really listen. Ask God to open your earholes and take in what is being said. Ask God to open your heart and your mind to receive what you hear. Then, come back on Wednesday and Thursday and watch parts 2 and 3. 

My prayer for you is this, that where ever you may find yourself, I pray that the Spirit of God would move through these messages and bring healing change to your life! Know that you are loved. The God that spoke the world into existence is holding you in His hand and He wants you know how much He loves you.

If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to us.

In His Grace,

​- jay

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Happy Thanksgiving! Yes, it's a few days late, we know, but like so many of you, we took the last couple of days to simply enjoy our family. And what a wonderful day it was. It really was.

So if you have been following our story, LIFE in the Higham house is a little different. Two of the five kids didn't make it home for Thanksgiving. Our number ONE had to work on the days before and after Thanksgiving, so it didn't make sense for him to come home. Number TWO spent Thanksgiving with his family and their extended family. That left the remaining five of us to enjoy Thanksgivings at home.

It's been another year of life change for our household. But God continues to be faithful and patient with us, leaving us much to be thankful for. As we reflect on our year, we are reminded of what it says in Jeremiah 29.

Israel is in exile. God gives Jeremiah words of encouragement and hope to be shared with the people. He says to them, in the midst of their exile, to live. They were to build homes, grow their families, work for the good of the community, trust God, wait on God, and when the time was fulfilled, God would come and move in exciting ways.

It's hard to put ourselves into the full context of the letter. We've not been in exile, but we are learning to wait. In the waiting, we're learning to live; to care for our family, to build community, to serve and minister where we are, and to trust God as we wait.  What are we waiting for? Well, like the Israelites, we're waiting for God to move. We're waiting for the, 'What's Next.'

In Jeremiah 29:10b, we read, "I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place." (ESV) That's a promise. God was working, even in the waiting. While the Israelites lived in exile, God was working, teaching His people how to wait on Him. While waiting, they were called to live and prosper where they were, but to keep their eyes and hearts on God.

Jeremiah 29:11, a super popular. You've probably heard it. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV) We have to be careful to read this verse and NOT take it out of context. This is not a promise of prosperity and blessing. It's not a promise that God only wants good things for us. And it's not a promise that if your faith is strong enough, your life will be great.

God had a purpose and a plan for His people, for ALL people. But sometimes God's plan includes waiting. Israel was in exile. Yet, in exile, Israel was called to live and serve. The promise was that God would not abandon them, but in time bless them. Here's the thing, the plan, it was God's plan, not Israel's plan. It was welfare according to God. It was a future according to God. It was a hope, according to God. It was God's plan.

Too often we find ourselves focused on our purposes and plans, and we wonder why God isn't moving fast enough, if He's moving at all. We see what's in front us,  sometimes only what's in front of us. When we're in this place of short-sightedness, we have to remind ourselves that God is sovereign.

We believe that God is sovereign and in control of all things. We believe that He continues to fulfill His purpose and plan, even today. And, we believe that right now, He is working for our good and on our behalf. He has a plan in the midst of waiting. And as we wait, we're learning. We're learning to trust Him in new ways. We're learning to do new things. We're learning how to be obedient with new callings.

The Israelites were to build houses, marry and grow their families, and work towards the good of community. In many ways, we feel like this is our season to care for our family and connect with our community. God is doing something. We can see it peeking over the horizon. 

As we reflect on this Thanksgiving season, and on the past 11 months, we have so much to be thankful for. And while we aren't ready to share everything just yet, a time is coming where we hope to be able to tell you all that God is and has been doing. What we can tell you is that God is Good. He really is. And He loves us deeply, even in the seasons of waiting.

​We have been reminded of Romans 8:28, often. Paul writes, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28 ESV) We live according to God's purpose, not ours. That means that while we wait, we know that we are fulfilling God's purposes here in the now and for what's to come.

Trust comes through faith. Faith comes from God. We pray that as you come to the end of your year, you might pause. Pause and survey landscape. Ask yourself these questions...

• Where have you seen God at work in your life over the last year?
  
• Were there times in the last year that you felt closer to or further from God?
• What are you seeing God doing now in your life?
• How are you learning to trust God and His purpose and plan for your life?
• As you wait, are you stagnant or are you taking steps forward, obeying God and doing what He might be calling your to? 
• Who is walking these journey with you? Praying for you? Speaking truth to you?
• How are you learning to trust as God strengthens your faith?
  

We have much to be thankful for this year, particularly God's promise of a future and a hope!

​- jay & amy

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Happy Thanksgiving! It's here! Bring on the turkey, the stuffing, the mashed potatoes,
the green-bean casserole, the pumpkin pie, the, stretchy pants...
In all seriousness, Happy Thanksgiving, from the Higham House
to your house. We hope that today brings you moments to say thank you!

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
Psalm 100:4 NIV
​

Thank you for joining us again today as we come to the final days of our Thanksgivings Past series.
We hope that you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!

​- jay & amy - 

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Happy Wednesday! It's Thanksgiving Eve, and we rolling on with our Thanksgivings Past series. Today were re-sharing our Thanksgiving vlog from 2018. In 2018 we posted a Thanksgiving Eve Vlog. Not sure why we didn't share a Thanksgiving Day vlog. Nonetheless, there is still plenty of fun to enjoy!

Thanksgiving is only a few hours away!
Today's question is...

What do you do as a family on Thanksgiving Day?
Do you watch or go to a parade? Is there a family tradition?
Do you watch a certain movie every year?

Share your Thanksgiving Day activity in our comments below.

- jay & amy - 

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Happy Tuesday! We are another day closer to Thanksgiving 2023! We are so looking forward to gathering around the table to enjoy family, fellowship, and of course...some really yummy food! Here is another look back at a Life in the Higham House Thanksgiving Day Special. This one is from 2017!
Hope you enjoy!

Thank you so much for joining us today! We hope you enjoyed watching our Thanksgiving Day Special from 2017.

Today's question for you...

What do you like to eat for Thanksgiving?
Turkey. Ham. Duck. Churducken?
Tell us in the comments below!

Till tomorrow, Happy Thanksgiving!

​- jay & amy

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Welcome to Thanksgiving in the Higham House!

As we get ready for the Thanksgiving holiday, we thought it might be fun to look back over the last couple of years and the fun we have had celebrating Thanksgiving. Each day this week we will share another Thanksgiving Special. 

It's so fun for us to rewatch these videos. The kids were so little. But, oh, the fun we've had. From the food to the games to the time we spent together as a family, man, we are so blessed.

This first video we have is our 2016 Thanksgiving Day holiday. It was one of the first holidays that we vlogged as a YouTube vlogging family. We are so glad we captured these memories. What a great way to remember, not just the holiday, but the conversations, the voices, the laughter, and the fun we had when they were all little.

We hope you enjoyed the video. Be sure to visit it every day this week as we take a walk down memory lane! 

Here's what we want to ask of you...

​What is one of your favorite Thanksgiving memories?

Share your favorite memory in the comments below, we would love to hear from you!

Happy Thanksgiving!

- jay & amy

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REPOST FROM NOVEMBER 1, 2021

I think it's safe to say, our Thanksgiving Day Dinner is pretty epic. When the kids were younger, we would often travel back to Philadelphia and have Thanksgiving dinner with Jay's family. We would do the Thanksgiving Day Parade, sightsee around the city, take in the holiday festivities, and of course eat plenty of Thanksgiving dinner.
​
However, as the kids got older and busier, making that trip became more and more difficult, until it was near impossible. Eventually, we just had to say, we weren't coming. And while it was sad not being able to go "home," it did give us the opportunity to start some new family traditions.  One of those traditions included having the kids help with Thanksgiving Dinner!

At first, preparing dinner was Amy's job, not by some mandate, but it was just kinda assumed that Amy was cooking. Jay was also in the kitchen helping, but most of the work fell to Amy. Now that might have been okay, but as you know, we had 5 kiddos. That's a lot of work.

But somewhere around 2014, Amy had an idea. After years of doing most of the work, Amy suggested that we start having the kids help with the meal. She would ask each kid what their favorite dish of the meal was, then have them help prepare that dish. It was a brilliant idea. Not only did Amy get some help in the kitchen, but she got to spend some 1-on-1 time with each kid as they learned how to prepare their favorite dish.

​Since then, Amy and the kids (and Jay) have been working together to cook and prepare our Thanksgiving dinner. But we've since realized that there were some pretty cool blessings that came from this new tradition.

Yes, we already mentioned this, but we want to go a little deeper, because this isn't just about teaching someone a recipe. Amy is a great asker of questions. She sometime takes some ribbing because of it, but Amy has a gift for asking questions that get our kids talking. So for her, this time in the kitchen with each one of the kids is the perfect time to get them talking. It's become a sweet time of sharing as the kids let their guards down and open up.

​Yes, we mentioned this as well, but hang in there. Think about this for a second, was there ever a dish that your mom or dad, or grandparent made that you absolutely loved and looked forward to eating? But how many of you ever knew how to make that dish? We remember early on in our marriage, sharing the different food items that we loved to eat, and then saying, 'I have to get that recipe from _________." Right?

​But when you're learning how to cook your favorite dish with the person who makes your favorite dish, there's no need to "get the recipe," you already know it. Down the road, when we gather for our family Thanksgivings, our hope is that the work of preparing dinner might be spread out as each kid (and their family) arrives to dinner bearing their favorite dish.

We enjoy spending time with our kids, especially around the holidays. We actually look forward, and even plan, for how we spend our time together. That wasn't possible when we would spend all day in the kitchen. In fact, it drove Amy a little crazy. She would work like mad to get dinner ready, while the kids did whatever they wanted. By the time dinner was over, she was exhausted and missed out on the fun of the day. But when we cook together, it reduces the time spent alone in the kitchen and allow us to spent more time with the kids.

A number of years ago, reality set in; our kids were growing up! Shocking, I know. But as our kids started becoming teenagers, we began to realize we were running out of time with our kids. If we weren't careful, our kids wouldn't be kids, they were going to be adults. So we decided to be more intentional with how we spend time with our kids. Naturally, the holidays became a focal point of how we spent our time together. We didn't want to see our kids scattering throughout the house on the holidays. Instead, we wanted to see them interacting with each other and with us.

Having the kids help in the kitchen gave us more time to be intentional. But it wasn't just as they helped in the kitchen. No, we found that we now had more to do things as a family. Last year, because the kids had helped prepare the dinner dishes, we had a couple of hours before dinner. So we got online and found some Minute To Win It style games that we could play with our kids. It was awesome! We played the games, laughed, and created all new memories together. You can check out our games by watching our 2020 Thanksgiving Family Special! We had so much fun, we're planning on playing some new family games this year!

What we learned was that we can set aside this time for something more than just football, TV, parades, food, and hours spent in the kitchen. Thanksgiving, and all other holidays, were opportunities to really connect as a family. All it took was recognizing that we wanted more time as a family.

As you can imagine, preparing a meal for 7 takes a bit of time. But one of the biggest secrets to making our day special is taking the time to plan ahead. Because we wanted more family time, we start thinking about how we might be able to prepare some of our dinner dishes in advance, instead of waiting to do everything on Thanksgiving.

Now this might not be the newest idea, but when we started preparing some dishes a day or two in advance, we found that we had more time to do family things. Things like our mashed potato casserole, or our layered jello, or the green bean casserole could all be made a day in advance. So that's what we did.

Amy worked with our kids, and the dishes that could be made early, we made early. Some of the items just needed to be heated up, while others needed the proper time to cook. But it was a tremendous time saver to have a number of our dishes ready to go prior to the big day. And we would say, it is worth it if you can plan ahead!

​With Thanksgiving still a couple days away, why not think about how you might be able to involve your kids in the preparations of the day. Or, maybe you are already doing so. If you are, tell us about it. Leave a comment below and share how you make your Thanksgiving day something the whole family can participate in and enjoy!

And as always, thanks for visiting!

- jay & amy

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In the post, Rethinking Dating with a Large Family, we shared the idea looking at date night not as "date NIGHT", but maybe "date DAY." For larger families with busy schedules, squeezing in a regular weekly or month date night is a real challenge. Just try finding some privacy and one-on-one time in the evening as your fishing homework, chores, bath time, bedtime, and clean up. Just saying all of those tasks is exhausting.

So what do you do when you can't set aside time for routine date nights? You start having date days! Instead of trying to go out on a week night or a weekend evening, think about how you might share time during the day together. Make it a Date Day!

As part of the post we gave a very short list of about 5 mid-day date ideas, with the promise to come back and expand that short list. So, today we're here with a list of 25 mid-day date ideas for you and your spouse!

As with all dating ideas, you will have to balance budget, time, resources, and actual availability. This list of 25 ideas is simply that, ideas. You should discuss with your spouse which of the following ideas are feasible for you in your context. Here we go!

 11. Visit the local mall and try on some new clothes.
 12. Take your spouse to lunch.
​ 13. Visit a local festival.
 14. Find a little, unknown restaurant you've never eaten at and have lunch.
 15. Take a painting class.
 16. Visit a car lot and take a test drive or two.
 17. Go window shopping in a cute, small town nearby.
 18. Get ice cream together.
 19. Get water ice together. (We're big fan's of Rita's Italian Ice.)
 20. Drive out to a secluded location and have a picnic and one-on-one time.

This list really got us thinking about ideas for other "date day" and "date night" activities. so, watch for a few more lists coming soon! In the meantime, try out one or more of our ideas than come back and let us know what you did, and how it went! We'd love to hear from you!

​- jay and amy