how to love your spouse

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Loving your spouse is a given in marriage, right? We say we love our spouse. We believe our spouse loves us. But how does that love manifest itself in the day-to-day? What does it look like for love to become more than just a word and more of an action?

A number of years ago, a Facebook friend shared an article that suggested some things to help a wife love husband. The original post was from 2018 and titled, "20 things you should be doing for hubby on a regular basis" written by, Becky Squire. The article has since been removed but the idea still lingers.

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I read the list of 20 items and I have to say, as a husband, yeah, these things would be great. A number of the items on the list I totally agree with. I think that practicing many of them would lead to a stronger relationship, and perhaps a deeper intimacy. But as I thought more about the list, my thoughts turned from their focus on the list and more to the thought that both husbands and wives need to be reminded that love is more than an expression of words, but also an expression of actions.

This is true of everyone, including my marriage. It is so easy for us to forget to do the simple things that show our spouses love. We get so caught up in the calendar and schedules, the needs of the kids, the things for work and career, issues at church and within ministry, projects and chores around the house...the list goes on and on. And as it goes on and on and on, we focus less and less on the one that mean and needs the most to us and from us.

I appreciate the list I read, but let's not forget husbands, there are a great many things we should be doing for our wives. Lists like these are everywhere. Go to just about any relationship site and you will find lists created to help you do all sorts of things for someone else. In fact we have, and we will, post similar lists here on our family website. Why? Because all too often we forget the need to do things for others.
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​As a husband, I am reminded of the importance that I need to be more aware of the needs that Amy has. I need to remember that as a full-time stay at home mom, which in my opinion is the greatest calling for women, she gets just as tired, just as frustrated, just as overwhelmed, just as stressed out as I do with my job. And she needs me just as much as I need her. And while I love the idea of my wife DOING things for me, I have to remember that I am the one who has be called in the Bible to love my wife "just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." (Ephesians 5:25 NIV) You see, serving your spouse begins with the husband serving his wife.

Can I challenge you, both husband and wives, but mostly husbands...
Why not sit down this week and think about some things that you can do for your spouse that would speak directly into the heart? Is it taking the trash out without being ask? Is it ironing his shirts before he needs them in the morning? Whatever those little task are, look for ways that speak love back into your spouses heart!

Don't just tell them you love them... Serve them like you love them!

- jay ​

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