Crazy In Love

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Our story begins 29 years ago at a Winter Retreat where we were both volunteering as Camp Counselors for the weekend.  Jay says he knew from the first moment he saw me that I was the one for him.  After communicating through snail mail and phone conversations for the next 6 months we attended a mission trip to Puerto Rico and that’s when I knew he was definitely the one for me.  We married 2 years later and have been happily married for 27 years.

​I don’t mean to paint it all roses and rainbows and happy times, but I can honestly tell you that through it all we are still crazy in love. I don’t mean we endure each other, I mean we really love to be together.  How many couples in this day and age, that have been married that long, can honestly say that?

When Jay and I look back at all we’ve been through together, we are so thankful for the joys and the sorrows.  Most people aren’t thankful for the hard times, but we believe God has used those times to knit us together even stronger; deepening our love for Him and for each other.

​Recently, we were talking about all that God has done, and how we had grown so closely together. I said to Jay, " Do you think other couples are as crazy in love as we are?" The more we talked, the more we saw how God was continually knitting us together.

We wanted to share a few ideas that we have done to continue to be crazy in love with each other after all of these years. Please keep in mind, these are the practices that work for us and our relationship. But perhaps they'll work for you.

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Prioritize Your Relationship...

The first is prioritizing our relationship which seems like a no brainer when you choose to marry someone. But so often once the kids come or careers grow, priorities get switched and our focus can become blurred.  We have raised 5 kids on a Youth Pastors salary with a few small part time jobs on the side to help make ends meet. We valued our kids being home with one of us, so we were willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary to make that possible.  I say that because there wasn’t extra money for expensive date nights or trips away together.  We chose to look for other creative ways to date each other. We made bedtime a regular routine for our kids providing time together in our house without them. We enjoyed reading books, watching movies and being alone.  Occasionally we did get the opportunity to date and cherished anytime we had together to talk and connect.

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Talk About Everything...

Second, we value honest and open communication about everything!  From raising kids to our spiritual lives to sex and everything in-between we talk. We feel that talking to each other with safe boundaries is essential to strengthening our marriage. When we had disagreements, we did our best to resolve the disagreement as quickly as possible. For everything else, we made a point to have open conversation. Talking about everything, makes talking about anything so much easier.

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We Work Well Together...

Third, we were involved in ministry together. And while that alone brings its many challenges, it also allowed us to share the same focus. Whether it was a ministry Jay led or one that I led, we chose to support and encourage the other however we could. This has also created time for us to be together. Whether planning or leading, we did it together. Being together allowed for us to strengthen our relationship while doing what we loved to do. 

We Were A Team...

Fourth, we were a team raising our kids.  We tried our best to be a united front for them. We both were hands-on parents through teaching, training and being present with our kids. We kept a schedule when our kids were little, recognizing their needs for consistency and boundaries, and routine. As they grew older, we gave them space to discover how God had created and shaped them. As a team, we created a culture that showed them love, grace, and nurture.

We Laughed, A lot...

With all the adventures we've traveled; the good, the bad, the highs and the lows, we learned to how to laugh with and at ourselves and each other as often as we could.  Life is so serious but we chose to enjoy the silly, the unexpected, and the crazy with laughter. Over the holidays, we were watching some of our old family vlogs. We were amazed by just how much we laughed, not just as a couple but as a family.

Now this is by no means an exhaustive list. In fact, as we wrote this post, we decided we would share a few more ideas in additional posts. But for now here's the question we have?

"Are we the only couple still crazy in love with each other?"

Certainly not! We know we are not the only ones who can say that we are still crazy in love with each other. But where are you? We would love to hear your story! We would also love to hear about your marriage and what things you have done to keep you Crazy In Love!

Take a minute to share a comment below!

​ - Amy & Jay

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