A couple of weeks ago, I (Jay) was asked to write a very short piece for a youth ministry website. They were putting together a series of blogs that looked at some of the common comments and/or thoughts that youth workers might hear from students throughout the course of their ministry. The purpose of the series was to help youth workers think beyond what their doing now in their ministries and discuss some of the most common issues we're facing. The goal is, that as culture and church begin to collide, we want to try to look ahead for ways to engage and educate students!

I choose the comment, "Church is boring." Please take a minute to read the post, it's pretty short. Then come back for some additional thoughts. Church is Boring.

Welcome back! I told you it was short.

So you might be thinking, "Okay, that was nice. But that was written for a youth ministry, how does it apply to family life and raising kids?"

Well, it totally relates!

I think one of the biggest traps we as parents fall into is thinking that the church, and perhaps more so the youth ministry, is responsible for the spiritual development of our children. But while the both play a role, neither are or were meant to be so. We stated this before here on the blog, but YOU as Mom and/or Dad are the one most responsible for the spiritual education of your children!

Now that's not to say that if you do everything that you are supposed to your kids will come out on fire for Jesus. Ultimately that depends upon the work of the Spirit. But we as parents have been called to raise up our kids in the nuture and admination of the Lord. We promise to do so when we dedicate or baptize them.

And one of the areas that we need to be sure we are teaching our kids is in the area of church, specifically the weekly, corporate worship gathering. Now I am sure that like us, you have heard your children say, church is boring! And I would say, that perhaps, for very young children, yes church may seem a bit boring. There's the singing, praying, listening, and having to be quiet the whole time...but it doesn't have to be boring.

You see, while I wrote, Church is Boring, for youth workers, I think it is totally applicable for us as parents. We should be teaching our kids the purpose of church, specifically why we go to church. In the post I suggest 5 things that youth workers can do to help rethink and reteach church. I submit these same 5 things to you!

1. Teach your children the purpose for worship and that it’s not for us but for God.
2. Read a book on worship to better understand and practice worship in your own life.
3. Make a search of the Scriptures to understand what worship looked like in the Old Testament and in the New Testament.
4. Talk about church and the worship service and why it looks the way it does.
5. Be an example for your children so that they see you worship God with all your heart, mind, and soul.

Now, simply addressing these ideas won't immediately change the idea of church in the context of worship. However, with time, and consistancy in your life, they will begin to see and understand church. in fact, I think the biggest thing we can do as parents is to help our kids understand the importance and need for worship!

- the higham family

So...

We're still trying to figure out these family vlogging thing. It's been a bit busy this last couple of weeks. On top of that, with all the traveling taken place, it's been tricky getting the family together!

Last week, we didn't get much vlogging done. Amy, Logan, Nate, and Aiden were away on a mission trip to Kentucky with our church. Asher and Breya, spent a couple of days with friends while Jay stayed home to work. So for the most part, there was no one around to vlog.

But we did try to get some of the weekend as we welcomed home Amy and the boys, then as we drove Breya to camp! It's not exceptionally great video, but it is a look inside our crazy-wonderful life!

We have been encouraged though, as we watch the number of views slowly increase, it's great to know someone is watching! But it also tells us, we need to work a bit harder at getting the word out! For us, vlogging is fun. It's a little awkward at times, but we're figuring it out. And if it helps to encourage you or another family, than it's all worth it.

Because in the end, that's really all we're trying to do. Whether here on the blog, or over on our Youtube channels, our hope is to encourage families just like you to continue doing what your doing; loving each other for the glory of God!

So here is our latest vlog post from our weekend fun!

Thank you so much for watching! Be sure to check out the other vlogs that have been posted! And be on the look out for many more!

- the higham family

Being a parent isn't always easy. Sure it might start out all fun and cutesy, but as your children grow you will face more and more challenges. This is natural and good! We want our children to grow. We want them to become independent, thriving adults. But navigating them through those years of growing up can be hard.

Fortunately, we don't have to raise our children on our own. Nor do we have to figure everything out on our own. God has blessed with wise men and women who have walked these valley before us. Men and women who have studied, both the Word of God and the mind of man. And they have shared that wisdom with you and mean.

One of the things we want to do with the blog is to be able to offer and suggest resources that we have found to be super helpful! From time to time, we hope to share resources on topics such as marraige, family life and raising children; budgeting, money management, and personal spiritual developement and growth, along with others.

This week, we want to share with you a book that we have found incredibly helpful as we walk with our teen through adolesence. Boundaries with Teens, by Dr. John Townsend, is a practical, easy to read, guide that will most definitely help you navigate life with teenagers.

Having worked with teens for over 20 years, I was amazed at just how easy it was to relate with the content of the book. And now that we are raising our own teens, the material has become crazy relevent. Our hope is to help our teens learn how to grow and mature, to become independent and self-relying, to be wise and making go decisions, and to stand strong in the moments of pressure and temptation. John outlines the need and importance of the parental invlovement within a teens life, while defining how we as parents can help them become more and more independent.

Dr. Townsend also looks at the challenges that teens face. From dealing with the pressures of friends and cultural influences to the growing pains of self esteem, identity, developement in but the social and mental capacities, and the sometimes more difficault realities of ADD, ADHD, depression and anxiety, and disorders and addictions. While he doesn't go deep into the complexities of the challenges, he does give enough understand to know how to recognize the challenges and to determine if additional professional help is needed.

Along with the education, Dr. Townsends provides simple, practical, and effective ideas, tools, and helps that will easy some of the work of parenting teens. With short stories and illustrations, John paints clear pictures of real issues while offering the helpful suggestions that work.

We have applied some of the helps to our family as we work with our own teens. We have found that the more we understand the WHY behind a behavior or an action, the better we are at remedying the problem.  Already we have noticed a significant change not jus tin how we respond to our teens, but in how they are responding to us!

If you are raising teens, or if you about to step into the trying years of adolesence, you will want to read this book! Boundaries with Teens, will most definitely help you better understand your teen and what they think and do. And that understanding will make you a much better parent.

This week we recomend, Dr. John Townsend's book, Boundaries with Teens! To learn more about the book, or to order a copy in either soft cover, digital ebook for Kindle, or the audio verision, simply click on the links below!

- the higham family

Hi we're Jay & Amy, and we've been married for 19 years and are super blessed to be busy raising our 5 kids; 4 boys and 1 girl. We juggle the adventures of life and ministry and share what we are learning as it relates to marriage, family, raising kids, serving in the church, and chasing afer Jesus. Raising a family is hard work, especially in today's culture. But our hope is to encourage you and your family, as we live for the glory of God.

Last week we started rolling out our new, "I 'heart' My Family Tees! They are the first in a line of tees we are creating and calling the, Family Friendly series.

We love t-shirts. And like many, we love t-shirts that give a positive message. Our goal is to create a series of tees that promote the family. We know it's not much, but family is super important, to us, to God, and the future of a stable society. And we're not going to get all political, but we do want to be a positive voice for the family.

Our first tee makes the simple statement, "I love my family." It's not super flashy, or obnoxious with a loud crazy graphic, just the words and a heart that communicate the importance of family. Over the last 17 years (that's how old our first born is) we have worked hard to make our family a top priority. The only things that are of a greater importance is our relationship with God and our relationship with each other as husband and wife. This blog and the companion vlogs, are a reflection of that importance. We try are very best to love our kids well.

We are being reminded almost daily, of just how fast time is advancing. The condition of our family is changing rapidly. So for us, making the most of every minute and pouring into our children is huge. And knowing that our kids are loved sits at the very top of our list of things to give and teach.

The "I 'heart' My Family" serves as a reminder that we are called to love our kids and our spouses. We would love to encourage you to love your family! The "I 'heart' My Family" tees are now availible! You can order your tee, right from this website! We have set up a safe and secure ordering system through PayPal. Please allow 4 to 7 business days for the orders to process and be shipped.

To learn more about the t-shirt and to order you very own, "I 'heart' My Family" tee, simply click on the links below. And just so you know, with every purchase of a tee that you make, you help to support this family blog! And for that we are grateful!

- the higham family