It's been a week since learning that we lost our baby. Lots of emotions and feelings have passed through my heart in this last week. I've felt pain, sadness, grief, darkness, peace, joy, love, contentment, and blessed.
Isn't it amazing the span of emotions we can feel in any situation? There were a few days of just sadness and loss. I didn't understand what God was doing. I know He has ALL power over life and death. I believe He gave us the baby and allowed us to prepare for and be super excited about it. Yet, I know that in His perfect plan for our lives, this had to happen.
While I may never understand why, I am truly resting in the peace that only comes from resting in His Sovereign plan. You see I've walked with Jesus for some time now and I know Him enough to know that He is good, He is faithful, and He will never leave me; even in our darkest times, even when I want to scream and shout, "Why?" He lovingly surrounds me with His tender arms and says "Trust me and I'm here and I am enough."
I want to share our greatest blessing through this whole time. It has been the body of Christ. I have been reading through the Bible with Women Living Well (WomenLivingWell.org) for over a year now and we just started reading the book of Job this past Monday. I don't think that's a coincidence for what we are walking through at this time. As I was reading through chapter 2, I was struck by verses 11-13.
Our greatest blessing through this whole time has been the body of Christ.
After Job has suffered greatly, His 3 friends drop everything to go and be with him; to comfort and sympathize with him (v11). What a beautiful picture of the body of Christ here. They sat and wept with him. I don't know how people walk through grief without the body of Christ and the hope that God is on the throne. From the moment we found out about losing the baby, our friends and family from all over the country have prayed and loved on us in ways that have spoken hope and peace back into our hearts in ways we never dreamed or imagined. We have felt the presence of the Lord through the many hands that have prepared meals, spent time loving on our kids, offered words of love and prayers, paid our hospital bills and just have spent time with us. There are no words that can be said to make us feel better about this other than what God's word says and through Christ being revealed in His people.
We believe deeply that God is doing a work in us for His purpose and glory. We don't know why, but we know Him enough to know His plan is perfect, so we rest in that.
Thank you if you have in any way reached out to us, prayed for us, or just have been there for us. We cherish you and have been truly blessed by you. Thanks for being the hands and feet of Jesus, and for being part of healing our hearts during this time.
To God be the glory in All of this!
Hi we're Jay & Amy, and we've been married for 19 years and are super blessed to be busy raising our 5 kids; 4 boys and 1 girl! We juggle the adventures of life and ministry and share what we are learning as it relates to marriage, family, raising kids, serving in the church, and chasing after Jesus. Raising a family is hard work, especially in today's culture. But our hope is to encourage you and your family, as we live for the glory of God.
Thanks for taking the time to read The Higham Family Blog. Each week we try to share new content about something we are learning, something we love, or something to offer encouragement to the family. We love to hear from our readers, so please share your thought in the comment section of each post.