I'm so glad I did...
I woke up the other morning with an overwhelming heart of thankfulness for a decision I made over 30 years ago that has blessed me richly over these almost 20 years of our marriage. I grew up in a great church with an amazing youth program. My youth pastor is still one of my heroes in the faith to this day and although I don't see him as much as I would like, we do still keep in touch. I also had some wonderful volunteer youth leaders who spoke the truth into my life numerous times. Parents, if you're a believer and you don't have your child involved in a strong youth program, I urge you to make this a priority. Oh, I know they tell you they don't want to go, they don't feel comfortable, they don't like the kids there...and the excuses continue. I beg you to make this a battle that is worth fighting. To have other Godly men and women confirm what you are teaching them at home is invaluable.
For me one of the best decisions I ever made, that was highly influenced by my amazing youth pastors and leaders, was the decision to keep myself pure sexually so I could give my husband one day the only gift that I could ever give him that no one else could. After almost 20 years of marriage, I can honestly say it is one of the best decisions I have ever made. Our marriage is blessed in ways I couldn't begin to imagine when I was a teenager. I just knew that God was calling me to be pure for him, even though I didn't know who he would be at the time. I just knew I wanted to love him with all that I had to give.
I know its hard to live in this culture where sex is everywhere we turn and having it on the first or second date is completely acceptable. It was similar when I was in high school and college too. I remember friends saying things like, "Well, what if he doesn't satisfy you and you're stuck with him for the rest of your life?" I remember being one of the only, if not the only girl on my college lacrosse team that was still a virgin. I trusted in God's Word and His plan. You see He clearly says in Genesis 2:24 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife and they became one flesh." And again in Ephesians 5:31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become on flesh." See, its God's design for us to wait. Because He loves us so much, He knows what's best for us and what He desires is good.
The pressures are great and it is so tempting to give in. I know you think you love him/her and you're planning to get married anyway, so what's the big deal? The big deal is that it's not God's best for you and until you have the blessing of your union in marriage, either of you can back out. I dated a guy for 4 years through high school and some of college and really believed I would marry him. Boy am I so thankful I had great teaching from God's WORD to know that I was worth the wait. I can't imagine what it would be like now to have my wonderful husband and have images of someone else in my head. And the same for him. I know that when we are together, there is no one else in our bed with us. It is an amazing level of intimacy that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world. There is no "one night stand" that is equal to a lifetime of learning and loving the same man! It's not just about the sex either, I believe our marriage has been blessed in so many other ways as well because we waited.
As I said before, this is not meant to condemn any of you that have had sex outside of marriage, that's not my job, but I do serve a God who is in the business of redeeming and forgiving you right where you are.
Hi we're Jay & Amy, and we've been married for 19 years and are super blessed to be busy raising our 5 kids; 4 boys and 1 girl. We juggle the adventures of life and ministry and share what we are learning as it relates to marriage, family, raising kids, serving in the church, and chasing after Jesus. Raising a family is hard work, especially in today's culture. But our hope is to encourage you and your family, as we live for the glory of God.
Thanks for taking the time to read The Higham Family Blog. Each week we try to share new content about something we are learning, something we love, or something to offer encouragement to the family. We love to hear from our readers, so please share your thought in the comment section of each post.