It's Friday. The weekend is almost here. My question, DAD's, is, What are you going to do about it?
So here's my little confession, I make some of my biggest mistakes on the weekends. Let me explain.
On most weekends there are a few possible issues that I need to address. The first is, am I ready for Sunday morning worship? You see, right now I am juggling four jobs. I have my day time job at a local engery company. I have my church planting responsibilities which usuall take up Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and some of Friday evenings from the time I get home till the time I go to bed. (Minus from that, dinner, the ocassional sports event for one of my kids, a booster or school meeting, any taxing or drop off that my wife can't do, and the very rare dinner gathering with friends.) Of these four nights there is the admin of the church, study and prep for the weekends message, any church related meetings, any get togethers with people from the church, and the routine prayer, calendar, and vision casting that needs to be done with any small church plant.
The third job is my hopes for a personal small businesss, which I am doing horribly with. As a way to help pay bills, I started a small LLC that deals with web design, social media management, graphic design, and development of a blogging network that deals with issues of ministry, family, culture, and general topics of life. My hope was to get a few clients that generate a steady income, while building a blog following that would lead to a book writing dealing. (I have two book ideas that in the writing phase that I would love to have published some day.) But, out of all the jobs, this one gets the least attention, so it's really going no where.
The fourth job is a seasonal opportunity that has me filming our high school football team during the game season. I show up every afternoon and at the Friday night games to film the players. The video then gets uploaded to a server from which the coaches can watch and review plays with the team. It's not a not job, but a job nonetheless.
After all of these jobs there is the role of husband, father, disciple, and friend.
Why do I share all of this? Well, it's a lot. But I think if we can be honest with each other, we all might say, we do a lot. You see, I don't think too many of us today simple get by on idea of, 'get up, go to work, get your 8 hours, go home, have dinner, plop down on the sofa, click on the TV, and watch the images till we fall asleep then get up and do it all over again!' The dads I know are busy. You're busy might look different from my busy, but it's still BUSY!
But then comes the weekend...what do you do?
Well, if I am not ready for church on Sunday due to meetings or visits or sports events, I lock myself away till I am. If the weekly house chores; mowing, cutting, trimming, repairs, etc, are not done during the week, they get done on the weekend. My point is, in the midst of all that makes us busy, are we missing out on the one thing that could bring us most joy and delight?
You see, the mistake I often make, is not using the time on the weekend to actually stop and BE with my family. When I weigh out all that needs to be done and consider the deadlines associated with each one, my tendency is to put my family on the back burner so I can accomplish what at the time I think to be the more important issue.
This thinking is wrong. Oh sure, I get that we need to meet deadlines. I know I have to be ready for teaching on Sunday morning. But I am also responsible and accountable for who I am as a husband and a father. In fact, if I were to read and interupt scripture correctly, aside from my relationship with God which should be number one, my relationship with my wife should be a strong number 2, and my kids (family) a definite number 3.
But that's not always the case is it. Now, you might say, 'Hey, part of me caring for my family is my work. I work hard, I am busy, because I need to make sure my kids, my wife, can have the things they want and need.' Okay, I can respect that, a little. But what if your time is cut short, and now that you have spent the last 5, 10 , 15 years being busy and not being present, what do you think the will say in your absence? "Boy I sure am glad dad worked so hard to make sure I have all this stuff after he died." "Gosh, I am so glad my husband was able to give me all of this great stuff while he was alive. I'll think of him every time a look at this stuff."
No, I don't think so. They're going to wish you were more a part of their lives and not just a financial source of security for them. They'll be bitter and lost and fatherless.
As I think about the stage of life that I am in, I am becoming all the more aware of how time is passing quickly. My oldest will be a sophmore in high school. My no. 2 a freshman. That's 3 and 4 years left before they are off to college. Now there's still 3, 4, and 5. Right. But guess what, number 5 is now in half kindergarten. That means next year she'll be 1st grade. Life isn't going any slower.
So maybe it's time I start slowing down a bit. Maybe it's time to reshuffle what life looks like so that I can take advantage of the time I have now to be with my wife and kids. Maybe I need to be okay with the grass being a little higher this weekend and instead of mowing I take that time to be dad.
The question is still out there. The weekends here, what are your plans? Will you fill the next 2 days wil busyness, or will you take the weekend off and come home for a change?
Me? My sermon is halfway finished. My talk for our student ministry bonfire on Saturday night is about 3/4 complete. But, I have already determined in my mind that Saturday and Sunday will be 2 days spent with my family. The rest? Well, I know I have done my best with my time this week. Not a minute was wasted. I used every opportunity to maximize my time to be faithful to everything else this week. So I am going to trust in my FATHER, and rely on His wisdom and strength, and I going to be the best husband to my beautiful wife, and the best dad to my incredible kids.
Come on dads, you can do this! Enjoy your weekend, love your family!
Thanks for taking the time to read The Higham Family Blog. Each week we try to share new content about something we are learning, something we love, or something to offer encouragement to the family. We love to hear from our readers, so please share your thought in the comment section of each post.