Spontaneity is Good for Your Marriage

9/10/2021

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When was the last time you and your spouse were spontaneous? No plans, no commitments, no agendas? The day starts, and you just go.

I will be honest, we don't have too many of those days. With our ministries, active kids, and all the commitments, we keep a tight schedule. But just recently, we enjoyed a Saturday that turned into a spontaneous date day.

Here's how it started...

We woke up on the Saturday morning of a holiday weekend. Three of our teenagers made plans to go fishing with some friends. Our adult kid had plans to drop his truck off with fiends for some repairs. Initially the schedule had then returning late morning. When they returned, we were going to do some things around the house, then go to a Vintage Race Boat Regatta, in our area.

Amy and I started in our garden and pulled our Brussel Sprouts. We then prepared them for freezing. You can read about that here, Home Grown Brussel Sprouts. By 10:00 am we were done and ready to get the day started. However, still no kids. We learned that after fishing, they made other plans that would keep them out for the better part of the day. So instead of sticking around the house and getting wrapped up in projects, we decided we would just go. And that's what we did.

We spent the day at a local park/resort. Because it was a holiday weekend, the park had a ton of activity scheduled for Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. We started by checking out a historical reenactment. There are some great stories of events that happened in our area during the Revolutionary War. It was like stepping back in time.

After the reenactment, we took a walk through the park's zoo. Yes, the park has a little zoo with a number of animals that you can view and interact with. Zebras, kangaroos, emus, ostriches, a bald eagle, and various cats and small primates make the zoo entertaining and delightful.

Because the park is also a resort, we made our way up to the lodge and conference center to see a wood carvers show and to have lunch at one of our favorite date-night restaurants.

So what started as a Saturday with plans to be with the kids, ended up becoming a spontaneous date day for us. And it was wonderful!

So let me ask again, when was the last time you were spontaneous with your spouse?

Spontaneous - Performed or occurring as a result of a sudden inner impulse or inclination and without premeditation or external stimulus. In other words, you go with the flow. You don't really think about it, you just do it.

Our spontaneous date day was great. It was totally unplanned. And as I thought about it, the day did a lot to boost the romance and appreciation we have for one another.

Let me share three quick thoughts I had following our spontaneous date day.

1. Spontaneity Leads to Fun

We had no idea when the day started that we would end up having so much fun. Having no plan is not the norm for us. Because are schedules keep us busy, we have to sometimes plan for day to go and have fun. But our day of spontaneity left us with no plans, no agenda, and all the freedoms to go and do whatever we wanted. It was fun to be out and about together. It was great to know that we could still have fun with each other.

2. Spontaneity Adds to the Romance

Whoever thought that going to a revolutionary reenactment, a small park zoo, and a wood carvers shop could ever be romantic? And yet, it was. What made it romantic was the fact that we were together; no kids, no arguments, no whining, no complaining. Instead there was plenty of hand-holding, hugging, snuggling, kissing, quiet conversation, laughter, sweet words of affection, and pure joy just being together. We were able to focus on us, and by doing so, our affection and attraction for and to each other reminded us of just how much we truly love each other.

Spontaneity Contributes to the Love Bank

Many years ago were learned the importance of making deposits into the Love Bank. Through words of affection and encouragement, acts of love and kindness, you can make deposits into your spouses Love Bank. These deposits help a couple grow together. This day of spontaneity helped to make valuable contributions into each others Love Banks. These contributions provide a sense of security and connection that strengthen our relationship.

I'm sure you could add to our list of spontaneous benefits. In fact, we would like to hear from you. What has spontaneity done for your relations?

Take a few minutes and share with us how being spontaneous has strengthen or challenged your marriage or relationship. Leave your thoughts, stories, and experiences in the comments below.

- the higham family

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