Our Oldest Just Turned 21

It came. We knew it would. We've been talking about it for weeks, maybe even months. Inside I think we wished that somehow, in some way, it wouldn't. But there's no slowing time, or changing what will be. And I guess, everyone has to grow up sometime.

Twenty-one years ago, Amy and I were in a hospital room, outside of Philadelphia. We were young, excited, a little scared, and a lot'a pregnant. Amy was in labor and progressing well. We were about to be parents for the first time.

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Ten fingers. Ten toes. Healthy. Beautiful.
​We were blessed, and we knew it.

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Amy was awesome! Before we knew it, we were holding our son. Teary-eyed and full of joy, we had know idea what we were getting into. Needless to say, our lives were changed. While we loved every bit about being marriage (2 years at this point), we knew from the beginning we wanted to have as many kids as God would bless us with. Now we were on a new journey.

May 7th, 1998, we welcomed Logan Jay. He was perfect. Ten fingers. Ten toes. Healthy. Beautiful. We were blessed, and we knew it. We watched him grow. From a sweet little baby to a playful toddler, to an active elementary student, to athletic junior and senior high school student. Tee-Ball. Little League. Basketball. Then his true love, football. But he's more than sports.

Logan held onto a growing love for God, chasing after Jesus, wanting to live as an example of the Light in his life. That was best demonstrated when as a junior, we moved him into a new school. Nobody wants to change schools in their junior or senior years, but Logan did. And while it wasn't easy, he chose to chase after God. He became a leader, on the field and in the hallways, classroom, and youth group. He chose to be the person God was asking him to be, instead of who he could have been.

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Trust God. Trust Yourself. Trust the Community.

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As we look back at what is now twenty-one years of God's continuing grace in Logan's life, Amy and I are thankful and proud of the Godly man, Logan is becoming. Even more, we reflect on our journey as parents. Time and time again, we have seen God's faithful hand, gently guiding us. We've made our fair share of mistakes, and yet, God has been good. And I think we've learned a few things along the way.
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1. Trust God

We resolved a long time ago that we would tried God with all of our kids. What does that mean? That means, that early on we recognized that our kids were really God's kids that we were blessed to welcome, know, and help grow. Yes, it might sound a bit trite, but it's true. We believed that God had/has a purpose and plan for each of our children. Our job was/is to do the best we can as their parents, trusting that God was working in their lives during both the good and not so good times. We trusted that God was showing up in the good things, and hoped that we was showing up even more so in our faults and short comings. We believe that God's plan for his kids, is good and perfect, and we can trust what he does.
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2. Trust Yourself

You ask any parent if they ever doubted their parenting, or question something they did as a parent, and you'll find plenty of moms and dads, who will admit they they have had their moments. It's true, being a parent is hard. You're making decisions, caring for, and guiding a little person who is depending on you for everything. It's a daunting task that leave many of us feeling a little less than prepared. But something I think we've always tried to remember is that God had/has entrusted his children to us to care for and provide for them. In doing so, he has and is equipping us for the role that we play in our children's lives. We had to trust ourselves, know that if we were truly seeking God in our decision making, in our discipline, in our loving, in our mistakes, and in our challenges, then we knew we would be okay.
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3. Trust the Community

Being part of a church community is a huge blessing for any and every parent. Knowing that there is a group of people who can help fill in the blanks is huge! Throughout our journey as parents, we have been so blessed to have other parents speak into our lives and the lives of our kids. Some couples have already navigated the road of parenting. Some couples have been right in the mix of life just like we were. And still others were just getting started. The support came as well treasured, well vetted experience, in-the-trenches struggles and battle-wounded realities of life, and wide-eyed enthusiasm with new ideas and techniques to think about. Either way, this community has and continues to loving pour into our family, helping to raise our kids, pointing them always towards Jesus and the hope we have in him. We couldn't imagine parenting without this wonderful community.
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Wherever you find yourself in your parenting journey today, can we encourage you to do a few things. First, TRUST GOD. He really is there and is working in the midst of your journey. TRUST YOURSELF. Know that he is equipping you for the work he has called you to, even when you're not sure you can handle it. TRUST THE COMMUNITY. Surround yourself with Godly couples who are willing to walk with you in your journey.

Second, take a minute to just stop and enjoy your kids. If you are like many parents, we spend so much time taxiing our kids from one thing to the next, all while trying to keep our commitment and careers moving forward. But take a few minutes to stop and see your kids who who they are and simple be with them.

Third, take some time to be with your spouse, and check in with them. It takes two to raise a family. Make sure you're on the same page. If you're not, don't be afraid to seek the help you need. Whether in books, with a counselor, or your church family, find the community that will help you thrive as parents.

​- the higham family

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