Making Time to Be With Your Wife

10/14/2021

* THIS POST CONTAINS PRODUCT AND AFFILIATE LINKS. *

Kids, work, calendar, church, commitment, community activities, sports, chores, the list goes on and on. Out of 24 hours in a day, it feels like 20 of them are booked with something to do. Sometimes, no matter how hard we might try to not be so overly scheduled, it simply creeps in. Maintaining balance is difficult and sometimes nearly impossible.

We've had another series of busy weeks. But in the midst of the busyness, we have come to learn that making time too reconnect is something we can't afford to do without.

We have a pretty good relationship. It's not always easy and we haven't mastered everything yet, but what we realize is just how important it is that we spend time together. We are convinced that part of our success as husband and wife comes from our commitment to make sure we connect in very intentional ways.

When we were a very young couple, the months we spent engaged and the early months that followed as newly weds, it was impressed upon us that we needed to commit to making time for one another. Now you might think, "Well, as newly, spending time together is a no brainer." And yes, that might be true. But the commitment goes beyond those sweet simple times of learning to live together as husband and wife. That commitment is the foundation that leads to a habit of using our time wisely; taking control of our lives, our time, and our marriage before the busyness of life takes over.

We think there are a few things that couples must strive for as they think about their relationship and the longevity of their marriage.

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A Deep Spiritual Relationship
that Cultivates Spiritual Growth

We believe, very deeply, that a life without Jesus is not life, it's just walking through death to death. Jesus Christ came, lived and died that we might have LIFE (John 10:10) The enemy is bent on destroying the human soul and he would love for nothing more but to see marriages crushed and destroyed because husbands and wives allow the busyness of life to separate and break their union.

But a couple who commits to making God their center, their focus, is a couple who takes a stand against what the evil one sets out to destroy. We have tried to keep God at the center of our marriage. For us, He is the foundation for everything; our faith, our relationship, our family, our hopes, our dreams, our future. It all rests on Him! Through prayer, reading and studying the Bible, and through worship, we seek to know Him more; to live for Him and not ourselves, to bring Him glory and honor. Sometimes our focus is individual as we work on our own relationships with God through personal quiet times, prayer, and study. And sometimes it's as a couple. But either way, our goal is to share in a relationship that allows for spiritual growth.

A Commitment to Talk AND Listen

Communication is crucial in any relationship. It's one of the most talked about, perhaps the most written about topic. To have a strong relationship, one must have strong communications skills. No way is this more true than in the marriage. It is absolutely vital that a husband and wife be committed to talking with one another. And notice that we said, WITH, not to or at one another. Communication isn't simply talking about what happened at work or at home. Good communication is talking and listening, and it happens when both the husband and the wife are willing to truly talk and listen to each other.

After 25 years of marriage, some of our favorite times comes from when we can sit and really talk about what's going on in our lives, our family, our careers. We talk about what God is teaching us, individually and as a couple. We talk about how our kids are growing up and how we see them maturing. We talk about our dreams. We talk about our hurts. We talk about our calendars. We talk about how we would like to impact those around us with the love of Jesus.

But it's not all talking. You see, you have to listen too. Marriage isn't just about what you want. It's about what your spouse wants too. Learning to listen to your spouse is a skill that every each must learn and master. When we learn to listen, we discover the heart, hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, and desires of our spouse. These are special treasures; gifts that provide us as husband and wife with real opportunities to share and express our love.

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A Passionate Sex Life

Now some may not like talking about their sex life, but sex was created for marriage. God in His perfection created sex to be a beautiful expression of love and intimacy between a husband and wife. We believer the sexual relationship between husband and wife can have a significant impact on the marital covenant. A healthy, appropriate, biblical sex life can be a huge blessing to the marriage offering satisfaction, joy, passion, and pleasure. While the lack of an active sex life can lead to frustration, disappointment, resentment, longing, and temptation.

We were created to have sex. And as husbands and wives, in committed marriages, we should be having sex. A LOT OF SEX! GREAT SEX! PASSIONATE, INTENSE SEX! If you want a marriage great marriage, make sure your are making sex part of it.

As you navigate through the busyness of life as husband and wife, you must recognize the need to spend time with one another. Not just sitting on the sofa watching TV together, but intentional time spent knowing God, talking and listening, and enjoying the beautiful intimacy of a passionate sex life. After all, when was the last time you sat down with your wife to really do an of those three things you just read about? We promise, if you stop and make the time both you and your wife will benefit from it in ways you may never have imagined.

So what are you doing tonight? Why not find out where you wife is in the house. Go to her. Convince her to stop what she is doing. And take her somewhere where it can be just the two of you. Ask her if she thinks that you are spending enough time together. And then suggest you set aside some time each week to pray and read/study God's Word, to talk and listen, and to maybe heat up things in the bedroom. You might be surprised at her response.

One word of caution. If you think telling her all the things that she wants to hear is one way to get more action in the bedroom, then you would be greatly mistaken. You see, more sex by itself doesn't make a marriage stronger. It's out of a desire to love your wife more and in fulfilling your call to be a godly husband and a willingness to surrender to God's lead in your life that you will see God strengthen your marriage and your relationship with you wife. And that will bring you closer to being a good husband.

- the higham family

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