Just a Glimpse

Do you ever want to ask God to give you a glimpse into His perfect plan from His perspective? I’m sure at some point all of us would answer yes to that question. Many of you know that we are on this church planting journey and have been for the past 3 years. It has had its share of highs and lows and I can honestly say the one constant thing has been God’s faithfulness to show us that He is at work in ALL things. Over the last few weeks, some things have happened that have made me yearn to sit at His feet and long to see what He is unfolding.

It all began Palm Sunday weekend. We had an amazing weekend of ministry from our Friday night “Art of Marriage” study to my Bible Study ladies, afternoon Tea Celebration, to Sunday morning worship. It was a weekend where I felt God confirming our “call” to be exactly where we are. Saturday night we spent as a family running errands and as sometimes happens, Jay and I had a disagreement while we were out that turned into a much bigger one at home. It was really quite dumb but lets be honest, we all have those times in our marriages. Needless to say, I was not feeling great about heading to church Sunday morning and sit under His leadership. Quite frankly, we were both acting like a very immature couple, instead of a happily married for 18 years, couple. So as I debated not going to church, I felt that it was more important for me to go and worship than for me to sit in disobedience at home because of my stubbornesss. I’m so glad I did. It’s so easy for us to justify our actions of disobedience, isn’t It? The kids and I usually arrive pretty early to help in case the people on set up need help, but that morning I planned to get there right on time because I really didnt want to socialize with anyone (just keeping it real). I pulled into the parking lot and noticed another car at the same time with 2 women that I recognized in it. They were both friends of mine and I was excited to see them. I hadn’t seen either of them for quite some time and one of them had never come to worship with us before. For privacy of the famillies, I’ll call them Julie and Tina. Julie had come in the past to worship but Tina never had before. I was so excited!

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Jay and I had a disagreement while we were out that turned into a much bigger one at home

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Worship began and I was still annoyed with Jay (we had tried to work it out before he left for church but werent that successful). Being the Pastors wife, it’s often hard for me to sit in the sermon without wondering if what he is saying is affecting anyone and this day was no different, it was probably worse because we had new people there and it was Palm Sunday!! I thought Jay’s sermon was kind of a downer, but as the service ended I turned around to see another church friend with tears in her eyes-she was in awe of what God was saying to her through Jay. Then as I talked to others including Julie and Tina, my eyes were opened to the fact that this sermon was powerful for many and it wasnt about me or jay at all(something we are constantly being humbled by). I chatted with Julie and Tina. Tina said, “I’m so glad I came to worship today, I really needed to hear that. It was a good service.” We hugged and said our goodbyes and all went home.

Fast forward to this past Thursday at around 10pm, I received a text from Julie asking that we pray for Tina- her daughter just found her unresponsive and not breathing and they were taking her to the hospital by ambulance. What?? She’s a beautiful, young,  and super sweet woman. How could this be happening?? Jay and I prayed for her and her family and withith the next hour received word that Tina had passed away!! Just like that, she was gone. How could that be? We just worshipped with her 10 days earlier. Especially after not seeing her for years, I had been looking forward to the possibility of catching up with her in the next few weeks as our boys would be playing baseball against each other. In fact, they would have on that Thursday had it not been cancelled! Immediately, Jay and I knew this was truly all about God and His greater purpose in Tina, her family and maybe even in Julie’s life. As I talked to Julie the next day, through tears she shared how grateful she was to have worshipped with Tina last week. You see, this church planting thing has been the hardest thing we have ever done. It has had many ups and downs, and we have questioned over and over again if this is really what God has called us to. See we are imperfect people serving a perfect God who is working His plan out all around us, and its not about us, or what we want, or how we want things to happen, or how fast we want Him to grow the church. It’s all about the Kingdom and what He’s doing that brings Him glory. I am so grateful He led me to be obedient to Him by attending and supporting my sweet hubby even when I didnt want to. I would’ve missed out on hugging Tina one last time before she entered her forever home with Our Savior! Although we may never see God’s bigger picture this side of heaven, I am so grateful He gave us a sweet glimpse and that He has a plan far greater than our simple minds can imagine.

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Although we may never see God’s bigger picture this side of heaven, I am so grateful He gave us a sweet glimpse and that He has a plan far greater than our simple minds can imagine.

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I don’t know where this blog finds you but let me encourage you that God does have a perfect plan and His timing is perfect in All things-both life and death. As I prayed for Tina’s family and friends Friday morning, the Lord brought Revelation 21:4 to my mind, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying…” I was reminded of the sweetness of Heaven. While I am sad that Tina is gone from this earth, I know that she is complete, whole and free of the worries and pain of this world. She is in the presence of God, forevermore!! What incredible peace that gives during these tougher times, even if I can’t see it all from His perspective right now; a glimpse is enough.

– amy

Amy is an amazing mother of 4 boys and 1 girl. Her passions lie in caring for her family, mentoring young moms, and speaking into the lives of women. She and Jay have been married for almost 19 years, and have been so blessed to be able to share in ministry to families together.