How do Your Kids See themselves?

Growing up in todays culture is tough stuff. Our kids are becoming the 'connected' generation. More technology savy then ever before. But more than technology, the constant and increasing pressure to raise above the normal, to succeed and excell, and be more by doing more are like bullhorns in the ears of our teens. And it's not just society push our students, more often it's us parents.

I live in an area with a very wide assortment of income levels. There are some who do very well, and there are some who are barely getting by. For the ones doing well, it appears to most that the sky's the limit. For the ones just getting by, well, you know how it goes. But what amazes me is that the message to students, whether they come from much or little, is still the same; achieve, achieve, achieve.

But what does all of this pressure to be successful and accomplished lead to? I'm all for the encouragement to pursue big dreams, but what happens when encouragement become expectation? Does that expectation alter how a child sees theirself? Does it skew the reflection in the mirror and instead of seeing God's creation are they seeing who they're expected to be.

Who do they see? The football player? The soccer player? The baseball player? The musician? The smart kid? The class clown? The goof off? The princess? The cheerleader? The popular kid?

As I think about my own kids, I sometimes see the struggle, the battle to find who they are. Thanks to God's blessing, and my wife's awesome genes, I have 5 athletic children. Of first 4, each one does well in the sports they play. (Our youngest is not yet playing in a sport.) They also do well in school. They are well liked among their peers. They are natural leaders. But with as great and wonderful as those qualities are, none of them represent who they really are. Nor are any of those characteristics how I want them to see themselves. You see, for as good as all of those things are, my hope is that when they look in the mirror what they see is the reflection of Jesus Christ staring back at them.

If we are believers, we are no longer identified by who we were, but by who we are becoming. Not only is this true of our past, but how we see ourselves now. For teenagers, they see themselves how others see them; athletic, smart, popular, musical, etc. And it goes both ways. In fact there are many, including the one who appear to have it all together, who look in the mirror and only see the negative they hear. This is damaging on so many levels.

Teens need to reminded that their true identity is found in Jesus Christ, not in a mirror and not by what they do. Whether you are a parent or a youth worker, or just some one who has the opportunity to speak into the heart of a teenager, our continuous message should echo Psalm 139:13-14,

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made your works are wonderful. I know that full well.

Our teens are products of the artistry of God's heart. From how they look to the gifts and talents they possess, to the passions, dreams, and goals that fill their hearts; it's all from God. And if Genesis 1:31 is true, then they too are "very good." If we are not the ones teaching and reinforcing this truth, no one else will. I mean, just look at what the culture teaches.

So speak in often and speak it boldly. "You belong to God. You are His creation. Made in love. With a purpose to bring Him glory. Crafted in the image of God Himself. Fearfully and wonderfully made!"

If we say it enough, perhaps the next time they look in the mirror, it will be Christ they see.

- jay