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Summer has a way of filling every available space on the calendar.
Baseball games. Vacation planning. Church camps. Family cookouts. Backyard projects. Late-night bonfires. Kids staying up later. Weekends disappearing before they even begin. Somewhere between all the excitement and all the responsibilities, one relationship often gets pushed to the side—the one that started the family in the first place. 
As we look back over the year's, summertime can be such a blur. We have juggled both family calendars and ministry schedules. With each year, the summer months seem to pass by faster and faster. I think it's fair to confess, at first we didn't always think about our marriage, much less make the time to date during the summer. But with a some effort and a little planning, you can create the time and space for great summertime dates.
Your marriage needs intentional attention,
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Wake up 30 minutes early. Grab coffee from your favorite local shop—or simply sit on the porch with homemade coffee before the kids wake up.
No agenda. No distractions. Just conversation. Ask each other:
Sometimes thirty uninterrupted minutes can reconnect two hearts. |
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2. Wander Through a Farmers Market
There's something refreshing about slowing down together. And while it might take a little bit of planning, it can be done. For instance, consider stopping to walk through a farmers market.
The goal isn't shopping. It's enjoying life together.
Leave your schedule behind for an hour and simply enjoy being together.
- Sample fresh produce.
- Buy flowers.
- Find homemade bread.
- Split a pastry.
The goal isn't shopping. It's enjoying life together.
Leave your schedule behind for an hour and simply enjoy being together.
3. Go on a Dessert Run
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Not every date has to last three hours. Quick and spontaneous can often fill up the 'Love Bank".
Sometimes all you need is:
Drop the kids off with grandparents for forty-five minutes. Or wait until they fall asleep, then have an older sibling, a sitter, or a family member come stay at the house. Then, drive to a local cafe, bakery, restaurant, or ice cream shoppe and enjoy a dessert together. Simple moments become meaningful memories. |
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4. Turn the Front Porch Into a Date Night
One of the best places to reconnect might already be outside your front door. Grab a couple of lawn chairs. Light a candle. Turn on string lights. Pour your favorite drinks. Then just talk.
Dream together. Laugh together. Pray together.
Marriage often grows best in ordinary conversations.
Dream together. Laugh together. Pray together.
Marriage often grows best in ordinary conversations.
5. Pack a Sunset Picnic
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This one is a total classic. Pick up some takeout. Bring a blanket. Find a local park, overlook, or lakeshore. Then go and have a late evening picnic.
Leave the phones in the car. Watch the sunset. Catch up. The world moves fast. Summer moves fast. Your marriage doesn't have to. |
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Why These Small Moments Matter
Marriage isn't strengthened only during anniversaries or vacations. It's strengthened through hundreds of ordinary choices that quietly say, "I still choose you."
Those little conversations become trust. Those shared laughs become friendship. Those intentional dates become memories your children notice more than you realize.
One day your kids will leave home. When they do, your greatest relationship won't be your role as parents—it will be your relationship as husband and wife. Invest in it now.
Those little conversations become trust. Those shared laughs become friendship. Those intentional dates become memories your children notice more than you realize.
One day your kids will leave home. When they do, your greatest relationship won't be your role as parents—it will be your relationship as husband and wife. Invest in it now.
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A Summer Marriage Challenge
Before this week ends, schedule one date. Not someday. Not "when things calm down."
Today. Write it on the calendar. Protect it. Show up for it. Your marriage is worth it.
What date ideas would add to the list? Leave your ideas in the comments below.
- jay & amy
Today. Write it on the calendar. Protect it. Show up for it. Your marriage is worth it.
What date ideas would add to the list? Leave your ideas in the comments below.
- jay & amy
discussion questions
- What was one of your favorite dates when you first started dating?
- Which summer date idea sounds most enjoyable to you right now?
- What tends to distract you from investing in your marriage?
- How can you intentionally encourage your spouse this week?
- What one habit could help your marriage stay strong throughout the rest of the summer?
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There is something about summer that makes us want to create unforgettable memories for our families. We scroll through social media and see elaborate vacations, picture-perfect adventures, and bucket lists packed with activities.
But when I think back to my own childhood, the moments I remember most weren't the expensive ones.
I remember simple traditions.
But when I think back to my own childhood, the moments I remember most weren't the expensive ones.
I remember simple traditions.
The little things that happened over and over again. The routines that made summer feel special. The moments that reminded me that I belonged.
As parents, we don't have to create a Pinterest-worthy summer to build meaningful memories. Often, it's the simple traditions that leave the deepest impact.
As parents, we don't have to create a Pinterest-worthy summer to build meaningful memories. Often, it's the simple traditions that leave the deepest impact.
1. Backyard Movie Nights
Hang a sheet on the fence, pull out a projector, spread out blankets, and make popcorn.
It doesn't have to be fancy. Your kids won't remember if the picture quality was perfect. They'll remember laughing together under the stars.
2. Ice Cream Dates
Pick one evening each week to head out for ice cream.
Let each child take turns choosing the destination. Use the drive there to ask questions, listen to stories, and simply enjoy being together. Sometimes discipleship happens over sprinkles and waffle cones.
Hang a sheet on the fence, pull out a projector, spread out blankets, and make popcorn.
It doesn't have to be fancy. Your kids won't remember if the picture quality was perfect. They'll remember laughing together under the stars.
2. Ice Cream Dates
Pick one evening each week to head out for ice cream.
Let each child take turns choosing the destination. Use the drive there to ask questions, listen to stories, and simply enjoy being together. Sometimes discipleship happens over sprinkles and waffle cones.
3. Campfires and Conversations
Whether it's in your backyard fire pit or at a campsite, campfires create space for connection.
Roast marshmallows. Tell stories. Share highs and lows from the week. As the distractions fade, conversations often deepen.
4. Sunset Walks
Take a walk after dinner and leave the phones behind. Notice God's creation together.
Talk about your day. Pray as you walk. The pace of summer offers opportunities to slow down and simply be present.
Whether it's in your backyard fire pit or at a campsite, campfires create space for connection.
Roast marshmallows. Tell stories. Share highs and lows from the week. As the distractions fade, conversations often deepen.
4. Sunset Walks
Take a walk after dinner and leave the phones behind. Notice God's creation together.
Talk about your day. Pray as you walk. The pace of summer offers opportunities to slow down and simply be present.
5. Family Game Tournaments
Choose a game for the summer and keep a running championship bracket. Card games. Board games. Cornhole. Ping pong. Friendly competition has a way of creating inside jokes and lasting memories.
6. Pancake Saturdays
There's something special about waking up to the smell of pancakes. Try different toppings. Let the kids help cook. Invite grandparents over. Simple rhythms often become cherished traditions.
Choose a game for the summer and keep a running championship bracket. Card games. Board games. Cornhole. Ping pong. Friendly competition has a way of creating inside jokes and lasting memories.
6. Pancake Saturdays
There's something special about waking up to the smell of pancakes. Try different toppings. Let the kids help cook. Invite grandparents over. Simple rhythms often become cherished traditions.
7. Summer Reading Nights
Pile onto the couch and read together. Choose a family devotional, a chapter book, or even let each child share something they've been reading. Shared stories have a way of drawing families closer.
8. Yes Days
Set aside one day each month where the kids help choose the activities. Visit a park. Have a picnic. Build a blanket fort. Within reasonable boundaries, let them lead the adventure.
Pile onto the couch and read together. Choose a family devotional, a chapter book, or even let each child share something they've been reading. Shared stories have a way of drawing families closer.
8. Yes Days
Set aside one day each month where the kids help choose the activities. Visit a park. Have a picnic. Build a blanket fort. Within reasonable boundaries, let them lead the adventure.
9. Serve Together
Summer isn't just about fun; it's also an opportunity to teach compassion. Bake cookies for a neighbor. Volunteer at church. Write encouraging notes. When families serve together, children learn that faith is something we live out.
10. End-the-Day Gratitude
Before bed, ask one simple question: "What was your favorite part of today?"
Celebrate the little moments. Thank God for His goodness. Help your children recognize the blessings woven throughout ordinary days. Gratitude changes how we experience life.
Summer isn't just about fun; it's also an opportunity to teach compassion. Bake cookies for a neighbor. Volunteer at church. Write encouraging notes. When families serve together, children learn that faith is something we live out.
10. End-the-Day Gratitude
Before bed, ask one simple question: "What was your favorite part of today?"
Celebrate the little moments. Thank God for His goodness. Help your children recognize the blessings woven throughout ordinary days. Gratitude changes how we experience life.
The Traditions That Shape Us
When you think about your own childhood, what do you remember? Maybe it was family vacations. Maybe it was late-night talks on the porch. Maybe it was pizza and movie nights every Friday.
The traditions that shape us are often simple, consistent moments of connection. This summer, resist the pressure to make everything extraordinary. Instead, focus on being intentional.
Your children won't remember every detail of every summer activity. But they will remember how they felt. They'll remember that they were loved. That they belonged. That their family made time for one another. Those are the traditions worth building.
The traditions that shape us are often simple, consistent moments of connection. This summer, resist the pressure to make everything extraordinary. Instead, focus on being intentional.
Your children won't remember every detail of every summer activity. But they will remember how they felt. They'll remember that they were loved. That they belonged. That their family made time for one another. Those are the traditions worth building.
Resources we love
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Family Discussion Questions
- What are some of your favorite summer memories from childhood?
- Which traditions would you like to start as a family this year?
- What traditions have we already created without realizing it?
- How can we make space for more connection this summer?
- What is one simple thing we can do this week to make a memory together?
Summer Challenge
Choose one new tradition from this list and try it this week. Keep it simple. Because the moments your kids remember forever usually aren't the biggest ones. They're the ones where they knew they were loved.
Do you have summer traditions? Share them in the comments below!
In His Grace,
- Jay & Amy
In His Grace,
- Jay & Amy
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Since our move to Ohio, our kayaks have been in need of a new storage system. In WV, they were stored in slings from the ceiling of our garage. But that system isn't something we can use right now. So, it's time to build something new. Here we go.
Kayak Rack Build
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Season One Finale
What a journey it's been.
In this special Season One finale, Jay and Amy take a walk down memory lane as they reflect on the first nine episodes of Gathered in the Higham House. From stories of parenting wins and fails to conversations about marriage, faith, traditions, and family life, this season has been a reminder that God often does His best work in the ordinary moments around the table.
Join us as we revisit some of our favorite conversations, share what life has looked like lately in the Higham House, and talk about what God has been teaching our family through this season of life and ministry. We'll also give you a sneak peek at what's ahead in Season Two—including new topics, deeper conversations, special guests, and practical encouragement for families seeking to follow Jesus together.
Whether you've been with us since Episode One or you're just discovering the podcast, we're so glad you're here. Thank you for gathering with us.
Do you have questions about family, parenting, marriage, ministry, or faith? We'd love to hear them! Your questions may be featured in a future episode of Gathered in the Higham House.
In this special Season One finale, Jay and Amy take a walk down memory lane as they reflect on the first nine episodes of Gathered in the Higham House. From stories of parenting wins and fails to conversations about marriage, faith, traditions, and family life, this season has been a reminder that God often does His best work in the ordinary moments around the table.
Join us as we revisit some of our favorite conversations, share what life has looked like lately in the Higham House, and talk about what God has been teaching our family through this season of life and ministry. We'll also give you a sneak peek at what's ahead in Season Two—including new topics, deeper conversations, special guests, and practical encouragement for families seeking to follow Jesus together.
Whether you've been with us since Episode One or you're just discovering the podcast, we're so glad you're here. Thank you for gathering with us.
Do you have questions about family, parenting, marriage, ministry, or faith? We'd love to hear them! Your questions may be featured in a future episode of Gathered in the Higham House.
Listen to Episode 1o
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Amy and I have been talking a lot lately about the future of the Higham House. And we've realized that some of the moments that have shaped us the most weren't the big milestones. They were the everyday moments—family dinners, conversations around the kitchen table, serving together in ministry, praying through hard seasons, learning as we went. Those everyday moments changed everything...
Over the years we've shared blog posts, podcasts, family stories, ministry lessons, and all kinds of moments from life. But recently we've been asking ourselves, 'Why are we doing this?'
And we realized it's because we believe that the everyday moments of life often hold the most extraordinary opportunities for faith, discipleship, and spiritual growth.
We don't have it all figured out. We're still learning what it means to pursue Jesus, love one another, and raise a family in the middle of real life. But if our stories can encourage another marriage... another parent... another youth leader... then it's worth sharing.
So moving forward, you're going to see more of the real Higham House. The joys. The challenges. The lessons God is teaching us along the way.
Over the years we've shared blog posts, podcasts, family stories, ministry lessons, and all kinds of moments from life. But recently we've been asking ourselves, 'Why are we doing this?'
And we realized it's because we believe that the everyday moments of life often hold the most extraordinary opportunities for faith, discipleship, and spiritual growth.
We don't have it all figured out. We're still learning what it means to pursue Jesus, love one another, and raise a family in the middle of real life. But if our stories can encourage another marriage... another parent... another youth leader... then it's worth sharing.
So moving forward, you're going to see more of the real Higham House. The joys. The challenges. The lessons God is teaching us along the way.
Through stories, conversations, and practical encouragement, we want to invite others to gather with us in and around the Higham House as we pursue Jesus, love one another, and share the hope we've found along the way.
That's really what this is all about.
So if you're navigating marriage, parenting, ministry, or simply trying to follow Jesus faithfully in the everyday moments of life, we'd love for you to join us.
Pull up a chair. We'd love to gather with you around the Higham House.
- jay & amy
That's really what this is all about.
So if you're navigating marriage, parenting, ministry, or simply trying to follow Jesus faithfully in the everyday moments of life, we'd love for you to join us.
Pull up a chair. We'd love to gather with you around the Higham House.
- jay & amy
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Every year, it happens.
Summer arrives with all kinds of expectations.
We imagine backyard barbecues where everyone gets along. Family vacations without meltdowns. Weekly adventures worthy of social media posts. A summer packed with memory-making moments that somehow leave everyone refreshed, connected, and ready for the next school year.
And then reality sets in.
Summer arrives with all kinds of expectations.
We imagine backyard barbecues where everyone gets along. Family vacations without meltdowns. Weekly adventures worthy of social media posts. A summer packed with memory-making moments that somehow leave everyone refreshed, connected, and ready for the next school year.
And then reality sets in.
Schedules conflict. Budgets are tight. The weather doesn't cooperate. Kids argue. Parents are exhausted. Ministry responsibilities continue. Work doesn't stop. The laundry still piles up.
Before we know it, the pressure to create the "perfect summer" can steal the joy of the summer we're actually living.
Maybe this is the summer we stop chasing perfection.
Maybe this is the summer we embrace what matters most.
Before we know it, the pressure to create the "perfect summer" can steal the joy of the summer we're actually living.
Maybe this is the summer we stop chasing perfection.
Maybe this is the summer we embrace what matters most.
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Let Go of Pinterest PerfectioN
We live in a world that constantly invites us to compare.
We scroll through photos of elaborate vacations, color-coordinated family outings, and endless lists of "must-do" summer experiences. While there is nothing wrong with creating special memories, comparison often leaves us feeling like we're falling short.
But the families our children remember most aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest adventures. They're the ones where they felt seen, loved, valued, and connected.
Your family doesn't need a picture-perfect summer.
They need you.
Present. Available. Engaged.
Comparison has a way of robbing us of gratitude for the gifts God has already placed in front of us. Instead of asking, "Are we doing enough?" perhaps we should ask, "Are we paying attention to the people God has entrusted to us?"
We scroll through photos of elaborate vacations, color-coordinated family outings, and endless lists of "must-do" summer experiences. While there is nothing wrong with creating special memories, comparison often leaves us feeling like we're falling short.
But the families our children remember most aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest adventures. They're the ones where they felt seen, loved, valued, and connected.
Your family doesn't need a picture-perfect summer.
They need you.
Present. Available. Engaged.
Comparison has a way of robbing us of gratitude for the gifts God has already placed in front of us. Instead of asking, "Are we doing enough?" perhaps we should ask, "Are we paying attention to the people God has entrusted to us?"
Choose Connection Over a Packed SchedulE
Summer calendars can fill up quickly. Sports camps. Church events. Vacation Bible School. Family reunions. Mission trips. Vacations. Sleepovers.
None of these things are bad. Many of them are wonderful opportunities.
But if we're not careful, we can become so busy making memories that we miss being present in them.
Children often spell love differently than adults do.
Adults tend to spell love A-C-H-I-E-V-E-M-E-N-T.
Kids often spell love T-I-M-E.
The goal of summer isn't to maximize every minute. It's to maximize meaningful moments.
Faith formation doesn't only happen during big events. It happens around dinner tables. On evening walks. In car rides. During ice cream runs. While watching fireflies dance in the backyard.
The ordinary moments often become the sacred ones.
None of these things are bad. Many of them are wonderful opportunities.
But if we're not careful, we can become so busy making memories that we miss being present in them.
Children often spell love differently than adults do.
Adults tend to spell love A-C-H-I-E-V-E-M-E-N-T.
Kids often spell love T-I-M-E.
The goal of summer isn't to maximize every minute. It's to maximize meaningful moments.
Faith formation doesn't only happen during big events. It happens around dinner tables. On evening walks. In car rides. During ice cream runs. While watching fireflies dance in the backyard.
The ordinary moments often become the sacred ones.
Focus on a Few Intentional Moments
What if, instead of trying to do everything this summer, your family chose just a few things to prioritize?
A weekly family movie night. Saturday morning pancakes. One family service project. A monthly adventure day. Reading Scripture together before bed.
Intentionality matters more than extravagance. Years from now, your children may not remember every activity on the calendar. But they will remember how your family made them feel. Were they welcomed? Were they heard? Did they laugh? Did they know they belonged?
Those moments shape families.
Summer doesn't have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. Sometimes wisdom looks like slowing down enough to notice the gifts we've already been given.
A weekly family movie night. Saturday morning pancakes. One family service project. A monthly adventure day. Reading Scripture together before bed.
Intentionality matters more than extravagance. Years from now, your children may not remember every activity on the calendar. But they will remember how your family made them feel. Were they welcomed? Were they heard? Did they laugh? Did they know they belonged?
Those moments shape families.
Summer doesn't have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. Sometimes wisdom looks like slowing down enough to notice the gifts we've already been given.
Create a Family Summer Bucket List
Rather than creating a summer checklist designed to impress others, create a bucket list designed to bring your family together.
Invite everyone to contribute ideas. Keep it simple. Keep it realistic. Most importantly, keep it focused on connection.
Summer Bucket List Ideas
Ask each family member, "What is one thing you hope we do together this summer?" You don't have to complete every item. The goal isn't accomplishment. The goal is togetherness.
Invite everyone to contribute ideas. Keep it simple. Keep it realistic. Most importantly, keep it focused on connection.
Summer Bucket List Ideas
- Have a backyard campfire and make s'mores.
- Watch a movie outside.
- Visit a local ice cream shop.
- Go on a family bike ride.
- Attend a minor league baseball game.
- Have a water balloon fight.
- Explore a new playground or park.
- Volunteer together as a family.
- Go on a prayer walk through your neighborhood.
- Watch the sunset together.
- Have breakfast for dinner.
- Spend one day completely screen-free.
- Visit the library and choose books together.
- Write encouraging notes to friends or neighbors.
- Build a blanket fort and play board games.
- Create a family gratitude jar.
- Take a day trip to somewhere nearby.
- Make homemade popsicles.
- Stargaze in the backyard.
Ask each family member, "What is one thing you hope we do together this summer?" You don't have to complete every item. The goal isn't accomplishment. The goal is togetherness.
A Final Thought
At the end of summer, your children probably won't remember whether everything went according to plan.
But they will remember whether they felt loved. Whether Mom and Dad laughed. Whether there was space to talk. Whether family time mattered.
So here's permission to release the pressure. Your family doesn't need a perfect summer.
They simply need you—showing up, slowing down, and choosing connection one intentional moment at a time. And maybe, just maybe, this imperfect summer will become the one you needed most.
At the end of summer, your children probably won't remember whether everything went according to plan.
But they will remember whether they felt loved. Whether Mom and Dad laughed. Whether there was space to talk. Whether family time mattered.
So here's permission to release the pressure. Your family doesn't need a perfect summer.
They simply need you—showing up, slowing down, and choosing connection one intentional moment at a time. And maybe, just maybe, this imperfect summer will become the one you needed most.
Family Discussion Questions
- What is one thing you hope our family does together this summer?
- What is one tradition you'd like to start?
- What helps you feel most connected as a family?
- What activity could we remove from our schedule to create more margin?
- How can we make space to grow closer to God together this summer?
- This Week's Challenge
- Gather your family around the dinner table and create your own Summer Bucket List.
- Choose 10 simple experiences that prioritize connection over perfection.
- Write them down.
- Hang the list on the refrigerator.
- Then enjoy the gift of an ordinary summer lived with extraordinary intention.
We'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment, question, or encourage below.
- jay & amy
- jay & amy
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In our post last week, STAYING CONNECTED TO YOUR SPOUSE IN THE CHAOS OF RAISING KIDS, we started a conversation that we hoped will be encouraging and helpful to parents who find themselves steeped in the busyness of raising kids. Marriage, our marriages, are super important and something we should be striving to keep healthy and a vibrant. We want to continue that conversation as we consider what it might look like to reconsider some simple priorities.
We know raising kids can consume everything. Having raised five of our own, we have walked through seasons of busyness. Schedules, practices, homework, meals, church events, bedtime routines… it can feel like it's nonstop. And somewhere in the middle of doing everything for your children, it becomes easy to slowly, quietly neglect your marriage.
Not intentionally. Not maliciously. Just gradually.
But here’s a truth worth holding onto: Raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage.
We know raising kids can consume everything. Having raised five of our own, we have walked through seasons of busyness. Schedules, practices, homework, meals, church events, bedtime routines… it can feel like it's nonstop. And somewhere in the middle of doing everything for your children, it becomes easy to slowly, quietly neglect your marriage.
Not intentionally. Not maliciously. Just gradually.
But here’s a truth worth holding onto: Raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage.
Your Kids Are Watching More Than You Think
As parents, we often focus on what we say—the lessons, the correction, the encouragement. But your kids are learning just as much (if not more) from what they see.
They’re watching:
Your marriage is setting a living, breathing example of love, commitment, forgiveness, and respect. By making the time to put your marriage first, you show your kids what it looks like to live out your covenantal vows.
Remember, Your kids are watching your marriage as much as they’re listening to your words.
They’re watching:
- How you speak to each other
- How you handle conflict
- Whether you prioritize time together
- If your relationship feels like a partnership… or just a logistics team
Your marriage is setting a living, breathing example of love, commitment, forgiveness, and respect. By making the time to put your marriage first, you show your kids what it looks like to live out your covenantal vows.
Remember, Your kids are watching your marriage as much as they’re listening to your words.
A Short-Term Assignment vs. A Lifelong Covenant
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This one can be hard to hear in the thick of parenting, but it’s essential: Your kids are a short-term assignment. Your marriage is a lifelong covenant.
One day, your home will get quieter. The schedules will slow down. The bedrooms will empty. And when that season comes, what will be left? If all your time, energy, and attention went only to raising your kids, you may find yourselves sitting across from a stranger instead of a spouse. But that doesn’t have to be your story. God’s Design Was IntentionalIn Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded: “The two shall become one flesh.” Marriage was God’s idea—and it came before parenting. That order matters. Your relationship with your spouse wasn’t meant to be secondary. It was designed to be foundational. Strong marriages create stable homes. Healthy relationships model God’s love to your children in ways words never can |
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God’s Design Was Intentional
In Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded: “The two shall become one flesh.” Marriage was God’s idea—and it came before parenting. That order matters.
Your relationship with your spouse wasn’t meant to be secondary. It was designed to be foundational. Strong marriages create stable homes. Healthy relationships model God’s love to your children in ways words never can.
Your relationship with your spouse wasn’t meant to be secondary. It was designed to be foundational. Strong marriages create stable homes. Healthy relationships model God’s love to your children in ways words never can.
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Choosing to Invest in Your Marriage
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Reframing priorities doesn't mean loving your kids less - it means loving your spouse intentionally and consistently alongside raising your children.
It looks like:
These small, consistent choices build something lasting. |
The Goal Isn’t Just Surviving—It’s Thriving
You don’t just want to make it through the parenting years.
You want a marriage that:
Because one day, it will just be the two of you again. And the investment you make now will determine what that season looks like.
You want a marriage that:
- Is strong when the kids leave
- Feels connected, not distant
- Reflects commitment and love over decades
- Continues to grow, deepen, and thrive
Because one day, it will just be the two of you again. And the investment you make now will determine what that season looks like.
A Final Thought
Your kids need your love, your leadership, and your presence.
But they also need to see a marriage worth believing in. So in the middle of the chaos, don’t forget this:
The greatest gift you can give your children is not just a well-managed life—but a healthy, thriving marriage.
But they also need to see a marriage worth believing in. So in the middle of the chaos, don’t forget this:
The greatest gift you can give your children is not just a well-managed life—but a healthy, thriving marriage.
- jay & amy
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Let’s be honest—this season of life can feel like pure chaos. Between school schedules, sports practices, meals, church commitments, and the constant exhaustion, it can feel like you’re just trying to survive the day. And in the middle of it all, something subtle can begin to happen: the distance between you and your spouse slowly grows.
Not because you don’t love each other—but because life gets loud.
We’ve lived this. At one point, we had five kids in five different schools, multiple sports schedules pulling us in every direction, were planting a church, working full-time, and running in-home childcare.
It was too much.
And somewhere in the busyness, we realized—if we weren’t intentional, our marriage was going to take the hit.
This isn’t about guilt. It’s about awareness and intentionality.
Not because you don’t love each other—but because life gets loud.
We’ve lived this. At one point, we had five kids in five different schools, multiple sports schedules pulling us in every direction, were planting a church, working full-time, and running in-home childcare.
It was too much.
And somewhere in the busyness, we realized—if we weren’t intentional, our marriage was going to take the hit.
This isn’t about guilt. It’s about awareness and intentionality.
Reframing priorities
Here’s a truth that can be hard to hear but is incredibly important: raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage.
Your kids are watching your relationship just as much as they’re listening to your words. They are learning what love, commitment, forgiveness, and partnership look like by watching you.
And while parenting is incredibly important, it’s also temporary. Your kids will grow up and move out.
But your marriage—that’s a lifelong covenant.
In Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded that a husband and wife become “one flesh.” Marriage was established before parenting. That means your relationship with your spouse isn’t secondary—it’s foundational.
You want a marriage that not only survives these years, but thrives long after your kids leave home.
Your kids are watching your relationship just as much as they’re listening to your words. They are learning what love, commitment, forgiveness, and partnership look like by watching you.
And while parenting is incredibly important, it’s also temporary. Your kids will grow up and move out.
But your marriage—that’s a lifelong covenant.
In Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded that a husband and wife become “one flesh.” Marriage was established before parenting. That means your relationship with your spouse isn’t secondary—it’s foundational.
You want a marriage that not only survives these years, but thrives long after your kids leave home.
Resources for parents
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Your Spiritual Foundation Matters
You are called to disciple your kids—but you can’t pour out what you’re not receiving.
If your spiritual life is running on empty, it will eventually impact your home. Staying rooted in Christ—both individually and as a couple—is essential.
In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, we see that faith is meant to be lived out daily—in conversations, routines, and rhythms of life.
A healthy, Christ-centered marriage becomes one of the most powerful testimonies your kids will ever see.
If your spiritual life is running on empty, it will eventually impact your home. Staying rooted in Christ—both individually and as a couple—is essential.
In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, we see that faith is meant to be lived out daily—in conversations, routines, and rhythms of life.
A healthy, Christ-centered marriage becomes one of the most powerful testimonies your kids will ever see.
listen to the gathered podcast
Who Sets the Tone in Your Home?
Here’s a question worth asking: does your family revolve around your values—or your calendar?
It’s easy to let sports, activities, and opportunities dictate your life. But as parents, you are the leaders of your home—not the schedule.
That means you get to decide what matters most.
Some practical shifts:
Because at the end of the day, a strong, connected marriage doesn’t happen by accident—it happens on purpose.
It’s easy to let sports, activities, and opportunities dictate your life. But as parents, you are the leaders of your home—not the schedule.
That means you get to decide what matters most.
Some practical shifts:
- Decide your family values first—then build your schedule around them
- Be willing to say no to good things to protect the best things
- Prioritize time together as a couple, even when it’s inconvenient
Because at the end of the day, a strong, connected marriage doesn’t happen by accident—it happens on purpose.
This season may be full, fast, and even overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to cost you your marriage.
Stay intentional. Stay connected. And don’t lose sight of what matters most.
We'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts and comments below.
- jay & amy
Stay intentional. Stay connected. And don’t lose sight of what matters most.
We'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts and comments below.
- jay & amy
* THIS POST CONTAINS BOTH AFFILIATE AND PRODUCT LINKS,
ALONG WITH LINKS TO THIRD PARTY WEBSITES AND VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THE POST.*
ALONG WITH LINKS TO THIRD PARTY WEBSITES AND VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THE POST.*
This Sunday starts what many commonly refer to as Holy Week. Simply put, Holy Week is the final days of Jesus' earthly ministry. This time includes his arrival into Jerusalem, the last meal with his followers, his arrest, trial, crucifixion, burial, and resurrection on Easter Sunday. It all kicks off this Sunday with Palm Sunday.
If you are from a traditional church that utilizes the Liturgy and the church calendar, you might be familiar with Holy Week. But if you are new to the faith, church, or you attend a more non-traditional church, you might be wondering what Holy Week is and why it's such an important week.
You might also be wondering why I used terms like traditional and non-traditional church. Well, a traditional church might be a church associated with a denominational connection. These would be churched that refer to themselves as Presbyterian, Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist, of Catholic. A non-traditional church might consider themselves as non-denominational or independent. Traditional churches generally, maintain or follow a Liturgical or church calendar that marks specific seasons, celebrations, and/or sacred days throughout the year. Some non-traditional churches choose to step away from those "traditions." Whether traditional or non-traditional, what's most important is that the church stay faithful to the gospel of Jesus Christ while maintaining Biblical teaching.
You might also be wondering why I used terms like traditional and non-traditional church. Well, a traditional church might be a church associated with a denominational connection. These would be churched that refer to themselves as Presbyterian, Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist, of Catholic. A non-traditional church might consider themselves as non-denominational or independent. Traditional churches generally, maintain or follow a Liturgical or church calendar that marks specific seasons, celebrations, and/or sacred days throughout the year. Some non-traditional churches choose to step away from those "traditions." Whether traditional or non-traditional, what's most important is that the church stay faithful to the gospel of Jesus Christ while maintaining Biblical teaching.
But what is Holy Week, and how do I share this with my kids?
That's a great question. As we've said, Holy Week marks the week between Palm Sunday, when Jesus enters Jerusalem to cheers and palms while riding the colt of a donkey. Easter Sunday or Resurrection Sunday is when he is raised from the tomb to life.
Consider these two videos. The first, the video just above, is from the question and answer website of GotQuestions.com, an online resources that answers questions relating to the Bible, church, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and faith. They do a great job explaining Holy Week, also known as Passion Week.
That's a great question. As we've said, Holy Week marks the week between Palm Sunday, when Jesus enters Jerusalem to cheers and palms while riding the colt of a donkey. Easter Sunday or Resurrection Sunday is when he is raised from the tomb to life.
Consider these two videos. The first, the video just above, is from the question and answer website of GotQuestions.com, an online resources that answers questions relating to the Bible, church, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and faith. They do a great job explaining Holy Week, also known as Passion Week.
The second, the video below, is from Phil Vischer's, What's In the Bible, video series. Phil is the co-creator of VeggieTales and What's In the Bible, a video series that teaches kids the Bible. In the video below, Phil and his friends talk about Easter and the importance of what Jesus did for us on the cross. The video is really helpful and great to watch with your kids.
Hopefully you now have a better understanding of what Holy Week is, and why we take time to reflect and celebrate the events of this week. If you still have questions I would suggest you reach out to your pastor, youth pastor, or kids pastor and ask them to help you better understand Holy Week.
If you are not connected with a church, feel free to email us here at Life in the Higham House. We would be happy to help you in any way we can. You can also leave a question in the comments below!
Be sure to join us starting this Sunday, as we begin Family Devotions for Holy Week!
It's going to be a great week.
Happy Easter!
- jay & amy
If you are not connected with a church, feel free to email us here at Life in the Higham House. We would be happy to help you in any way we can. You can also leave a question in the comments below!
Be sure to join us starting this Sunday, as we begin Family Devotions for Holy Week!
It's going to be a great week.
Happy Easter!
- jay & amy
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* THIS POST CONTAINS BOTH AFFILIATE AND PRODUCT LINKS,
ALONG WITH LINKS TO THIRD PARTY WEBSITES AND VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THE POST.*
ALONG WITH LINKS TO THIRD PARTY WEBSITES AND VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THE POST.*
As parents, one of the greatest privileges we have is pointing our kids toward God. Amy and I often reflect on how deeply this responsibility shaped the way we tried to raise our children. One passage that guided our family again and again is Deuteronomy 6:4–9:
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4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. - Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ESV
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This passage gives parents our marching orders. We are called not only to teach our children about God, but to fill our everyday lives with conversations about Him. Faith is not meant to be a once-a-week topic reserved for church. It is something we talk about at the dinner table, in the car, during bedtime routines, and in ordinary moments of life.
But before we can teach our kids to love God, we have to answer a foundational question ourselves: How do WE love God?
But before we can teach our kids to love God, we have to answer a foundational question ourselves: How do WE love God?
One Sunday morning I asked this question to our church as we gathered for worship. Together we read what is often called The Great Commandment from Matthew 22:37–40:
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“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” - Matthew 22:37-40 ESV
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Jesus makes it clear that loving God is the first and greatest commandment. But what does it actually mean to love God?
At its core, to love God is to worship Him. Loving God means responding to Him with awe, reverence, and devotion—with every part of who we are: our hearts, our souls, and our minds.
When we understand love for God this way, worship becomes much bigger than what we do on a Sunday morning.
At its core, to love God is to worship Him. Loving God means responding to Him with awe, reverence, and devotion—with every part of who we are: our hearts, our souls, and our minds.
When we understand love for God this way, worship becomes much bigger than what we do on a Sunday morning.
Worship is three fold
1. Worship Is Corporate
Every week believers gather together to worship God. Sunday morning worship is not a performance or a box to check on our weekly to-do list. It is the gathered people of God coming together in humility and joy to honor the One who alone is worthy of our praise. When families prioritize gathering with the church, our kids learn that God is worthy of our time, our attention, and our devotion. |
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2. Worship Is Personal
Worship also happens in our personal lives. Prayer, reading Scripture, reflecting on God’s goodness, and thanking Him for His work in our lives are all ways we worship Him individually.
When children see their parents praying, reading the Bible, and seeking God personally, they begin to understand that faith is not just something we do at church—it is part of our daily lives.
Worship also happens in our personal lives. Prayer, reading Scripture, reflecting on God’s goodness, and thanking Him for His work in our lives are all ways we worship Him individually.
When children see their parents praying, reading the Bible, and seeking God personally, they begin to understand that faith is not just something we do at church—it is part of our daily lives.
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We Love Audible!
On a recent trip, we downloaded and listened to two books using our Audible subscription. The plan, listen as we drive. And, we did. Two, full-length books. We loved the books. And, we loved that it made our travels a little more enjoyable. Check out Audible, and starting listening today!
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3. Worship Is Lived
Finally, worship is expressed through how we live. Our words, our work, our attitudes, and our actions can all reflect honor to God. Scripture reminds us in Romans 12:1 to present our lives as a “living sacrifice.”
In other words, our entire lives can become an act of worship.
Finally, worship is expressed through how we live. Our words, our work, our attitudes, and our actions can all reflect honor to God. Scripture reminds us in Romans 12:1 to present our lives as a “living sacrifice.”
In other words, our entire lives can become an act of worship.
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Modeling Worship for Our Kids
If we want our children to love God, they must first see us loving God.
They will notice what we prioritize. They will observe how we respond to challenges. They will see whether our faith shapes our daily decisions.
Deuteronomy reminds us that spiritual formation happens in the everyday rhythms of life—when we sit in our homes, when we walk along the way, when we lie down, and when we rise.
So this week, consider this question: Does my life reflect a life of worship?
As parents, we have the incredible opportunity to invite our children into a life centered on the Most High God. Together—in weekly worship, in quiet moments with the Lord, and in the way we live our lives—we can show them what it means to love and worship the one true and living God.
And that is how we teach our children to love Him.
— the higham family
They will notice what we prioritize. They will observe how we respond to challenges. They will see whether our faith shapes our daily decisions.
Deuteronomy reminds us that spiritual formation happens in the everyday rhythms of life—when we sit in our homes, when we walk along the way, when we lie down, and when we rise.
So this week, consider this question: Does my life reflect a life of worship?
As parents, we have the incredible opportunity to invite our children into a life centered on the Most High God. Together—in weekly worship, in quiet moments with the Lord, and in the way we live our lives—we can show them what it means to love and worship the one true and living God.
And that is how we teach our children to love Him.
— the higham family
Discussion Questions for Parents...
- What are some everyday moments in our home where we can naturally talk about God with our kids?
- What spiritual habits (prayer, Bible reading, worship) do our children currently see modeled in our lives?
- How can we make weekly corporate worship a meaningful priority for our family?
- In what ways can our daily actions and attitudes demonstrate a life of worship to our children?
- What is one small step we can take this week to more intentionally disciple our kids in loving God?
