Bringing Back The Date Night

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For the longest time we have heard about the importance of the Date Night. From our engagement till now, conference after conference, book after book, radio program after radio program; the date night is a necessity for a healthy marriage. And for years, we practiced the habit of the date night with great success.

We looked forward to date night. When the kids were little, we tried to slip out once maybe twice a month. Dinners, movies, concerts, shopping, walks, overnighters, romantic get-a-ways; date night was something we treasured. But as the kids grew older and our schedule more complex and complicated, the date night became somewhat elusive.

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Date nights were opportunities for us to be together, to dream together, to laugh together, and to keep the spark alive.

But date nights can become a challenge. For us, we found ourselves putting our kids and work and schedules before our marriage. We lost sight of the need to work on our marriage. We forgot that we need to talk, not just about our day or the calendar, but to talk about us. We forgot that we needed to laugh, to dream, to simply be together. We needed to refocus, to reconnect, to recommit ourselves to the date night and to taking time to work on us. We needed to take the time to be us. So that's what we're did. We made the commitment to bring back date night.​

Read any marriage book or listen to any marriage speaker and they will tell you that you need to make date nights a part of you marriage. The question is how?

​How do you make date night part of your marriage?

1. Make the Commitment Together

We learned a long time ago that any decisions made by just one of us was a bad idea. But if we made a decision together, we were committed to see it happen. So, to make sure date nights happened, we committed to making date nights part of our regular family rhythm. 

Together we were more committed to seeing that date nights happened. Our first commitment was one date a month. At the time, once a month worked with our schedules. As it became more of routine, it was easier to set aside two nights a month for date night. The point is, make the commitment together. 

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From the Vlog

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2. Make it Doable

Back then, if we could, we would have scheduled a date night once a week. But the reality was we wouldn't be able to do that. Life just didn't allow for a weekly date night. So instead of setting a goal that we knew we wouldn't be able to obtain, we started with something we could manage.

As our kids grew and schedules changed, we were able to add more date nights. We also considered the time of year, know that same seasons made date nights a little more challenging. We decided to keep our commitment to one date night a month, and be flexible with additional date night opportunities. 

If you and your spouse are still working through the busyness of life, don't try to commit to something that you know you can't follow through with. Start small and build upon it. Make the commitment to go on one date each month. As you take control of your busyness, you can add another date night as you go.

3. Make it Fun

One of the things we loved about our early date nights was that they allowed us the time to have fun together. It's not like we had to go and do a bunch of activities, we loved being together because being together was fun.

As you think about your date nights, have fun. If dinner is fun, go to dinner. If a movie is fun, see a movie. If taking a walk through a park is fun, go for a walk. Being with your spouse should be fun. So have fun. 

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Now, let's be honest. The best thing about date nights is that at the end of the night you get to go home...together. Have your date night, have fun, and then head home together for a little more fun. 

​The point is, make date night a priority for your marriage. If you are not already scheduling date nights into your weekly or monthly schedules, try to do so. Make the commitment as a couple. Make date nights doable. And make them fun. If's it been awhile since your last date night, what's keeping you? Why not schedule a date night for this weekend. And if you are a master of the date night, find a couple to encourage Introduce them your date night routine and help them practice the habit of the date night.

If marriage is your priority, than make date night a part of your marriage.

We want to hear some of your best date night ideas! Share your favorite locations, activities, memories. Encourage other couples to make dating a regular part of their marriage. We look forward to reading your comments.

- jay & amy

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