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Here we go...It's time to carve pumpkins!
It's our annual tradition. We gather the kids together, set up a couple pumpkins, breakout the carving knives, and we get to cutting. We have been carving pumpkins since the first years of our marriage. When the kids came along, we included them. And, it's been pumpkin carving ever since. Over the years, we have watched the kids carve all sorts of imaginative pumpkin faces and creations. Around 2016, we vlogged our first pumpkin carving video. Since then, we have recorded every pumpkin carving. Watch 2024 Pumpkin Carving vlog
This year we had a first. It was the first time we carved pumpkins that we grew in our own pumpkin patch. Our Jack-o-Lantern pumpkins did great, producing enough pumpkins to decorate, share and carve.
Pumpkin Carving 2021
At the carving table this year was, Breya, Asher, Alaina, Amy and Jay. We had such a good time just hanging out, talking, laughing, and creating our pumpkins.
All said and done, the pumpkins came out looking great. We carried them to the front of the house, staged them on the steps, lit them, and watched them glow.
And they really did look amazing. Another year. Crazy to think 2024 has only two months left. Trick-or-Treating happens this week. Friday is November 1st. And that's it, the holiday season is here! Thanksgiving and Christmas are just a few weeks away. And before you know it, we'll be saying hello to 2025. But let's not think about that just yet. Let's enjoy the final days of Fall. Then Thanksgiving. Then Christmas. Happy Fall Y'all! - the higham family -
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Are you ready yet? Halloween is this week. After that, we're jumping into the holiday season. Let's start that countdown! Only a few days till November 1st!
Watch today's Vlog post...Time to start the countdown!
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Let's get real. Life can be challenging. We have had our fair share of "challenges". But through all the challenges, we can honestly say, our marriage has always be a solid foundation for us to stand on. Never have we ever questioned or doubted the commitment we have for each other. For 28 years we have enjoyed every aspect of our union. But life changes. The kids grow up. Jobs change. Schedules conflict. And we get old, or at least older. Then it sets in; the marriage killer. The status quo.
We have always allowed for time in our marriage to care for and work on our relationship. Date nights, weekend get-a-ways, marriage conferences, seminars, books, and other couples to mentor and speak into our lives, these have been a big part of our success. After two years of marriage we moved away from our families to enter full-time ministry. It was the beginning of an exciting adventure. Those early years away from our families forced us to lean into each other to make our way as husband and wife. We were a four hour drive from our in-laws, close enough to visit, but far enough that we had to really rely on each other.
As our family grew, so did our commitment to strengthen our marriage. We were blessed to serve in churches that supported our family. That support manifested in babysitters for date nights and care-givers while we went away to attend conference and training events. Keeping our marriage strong and healthy was our goal. But life was busy. At one point we were really stretched. Two working parents. Five kids. Two in college. One in high school. One in middle school. One in elementary school. Sports. Dance. Part-time jobs. Friends. Girl-friends. Church commitments. Family commitments. It all added up quickly, and unfortunately, the amount hours exceed the daily limits.. But that was then. some of our favorite books
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And, this is now. There are still two working parents and five kids, but life looks a little different. Three are in full-time employment. One is in college. One in high school. There are still church commitments, family commitments, school activities, part-time jobs, and house and yard chores. It still adds up quickly, but today's daily schedules are a little more manageable.
However, the last couple of years have proven to be more challenging for our relationship. From the cancer diagnosis to the loss of our fathers, to stepping out of ministry for a short time, our marriage has weathered some stormy seasons. In the midst of it all, we held tight to each other and to Jesus. During one of those busy seasons of life, we got together to talk. Things were spinning out a little bit, so we wanted to address some of the struggles we were facing. We realized that we had neglected to make our marriage a priority. It wasn't something we planned, it kinda' just happened. Instead of date nights, we were playing taxi service. Instead of weekend conferences, it was weekend sports. Instead of small group with friends, it was booster and church meetings. We're living on two separate schedules. Amy goes to work early in the morning. That means she's off to bed early. Jay goes to work a little later after the kids go to school, so he's usually up later. Amy's job was more physical as she's on her feet most days. When she's wasn't at work, she's was at home watching children, managing the house, and caring for our kiddo's. By the end of her day, she was exhausted. Jay's work day was divided between office, after-school events, church meetings, networking, and youth gatherings. That left Jay with a schedule that kept him up later. It felt like we were proverbial "ships passing in the night."
As we talked, we recognized that a few things needed to change. The first thing to change was that we needed to reprioritize our marriage. We had been working so hard at so many other things, we forgot that we had to work hard at our marriage. We let our marriage take the backseat as our focus drifted towards everything around us. We replaced the simple loving moments and romantic gestures with household chores and completed items on the To Do List. Late evening trips to the grocery store for milk and bread became like date nights as we stole 15 or 20 minutes as "together time."
But To Do Lists and grocery runs, as important and necessary as they may be, don't strengthen your marriage. And the more you push the issue under the carpet, the more you find that your losing your best friend. So, something had to change, and change it did. One of the things we held to as a married couple was the promise we made to always fight for our marriage. We are still deeply in love with one another. That love, and the desire to live in that love continues to drive us to make our marriage a priority. We've never been ones to run away from hard work. Instead, we get down and dirty, sweating it out until we have accomplished our shared goals. And that is what we did, we got down and dirty as we fought for our marriage.
The second thing we did was to work on a number important areas in our marriage. What were these areas needing our attention? Words of Affection. Reestablishing the Date Night. Sexual Intimacy. A Renewed Commitment to be in God's Word. A Promise to Pray With and For Each Other. And the Quest for Fun.
Marriage isn't easy. It takes work, patience, love, forgiveness, and grace. It requires that both parties show up, do their parts, and fight for what's most important. It takes a commitment to communicate; too listen as much as you talk. To wake up each day and say, I am going to love my spouse better today, than I did yesterday, and together, we're going to win Maybe you find yourself in a similar place. You love your spouse and you know that your spouse loves you. But it feels like you're just going through the motions, doing the whole family/marriage thing, but you feel like something's missing. Or maybe, your in a dry season and just need a little reminder to help you wet that romantic side that you thought you had to put away when the kids arrived. Or maybe, your marriage is cruising along with all cylinders firing the way they should, but deep down your thinking, how can we keep this going? Our hope is that our journey might in some way, encourage and inspire you to make your marriage a priority for you and your spouse. - jay and amy
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It's Fall in West Virginia, which means crisp, cold days, falling leaves, and sweatshirts and sweaters. But we've been experiencing some beautifully warm days this past week and I am soaking it up. In years past, I was blessed to be able to take morning runs with my sweet dog on one of the local trails in our community. It was a season of life when all five kids in school all day. It was the perfect time to be in God's creation while getting in a little exercise. I would put my headphones in, find a good Bible-teaching podcast to listen to, leash up our dog, and away I went.
On one such outing, I started paying attention to my surroundings and the season we are in. Lots of leaves were on the trail leaving just a little color left on some of the trees. I started to think about the seasons and how each one has a beauty of its own. Then my mind wandered to how each season of our lives also has a beauty all its own. In some ways I couldn't wait for the season where all 5 were in school all day, and yet part of me dreaded it. I loved having little ones at home with me all day. Yes, there were many challenges along the way, but for the most part I truly cherished it. At different points, Jay and I discussed and prayed about employment outside of the home, and there were seasons where I did work, both in and out of the house. But this particular season, we decided I had enough work to do to keep our home running. So we will continued to make the sacrifices and live on one income.
I remember struggling with the reality that my kids weren't little anymore. It was also a time of transition, leaving a church where I had grown to love the people we served dearly, and quite frankly, the pain of having to say goodbye. But as I ran, looking at the rolling green hills and the fall colors still left on the trees, I felt God’s presence and peace fell upon me. ORDER PUMPKINS. PUMPKINS. PUMPKINS.
I remember thinking, 'soon the trees will be bare and brown, and we will wait for snow to brighten up what’s become dingy and dead.' It was in this moment that I was reminded of the life that comes out of God’s love for His children. As God continues to shape me, I am more and more aware of His presence and peace during tough times. While it may look like things around me are dying, He is preparing to bring new life from within my circumstances.
The same is true as we go through season of change in our family. The kids get older. They grow up. And before you know it, they are all young adults, beginning to live their own lives. Every day that are little more independent. And while it's hard, we have to learn to let them go.
I remember God nudging my heart, telling me to enjoy the life that is around me and the new season He is bringing me into. I had to learn to watch as His hand created something new and exciting out of something that was seemingly lifeless and dull. Only a loving Creator can do that.
In Ecclesiastes 3:11, we read, “He makes all things beautiful in His time.” And it is in His time, not ours. Today, I am continuing to learn to be thankful that my Heavenly Father chooses to take the time to show me His love over and over again; a Father who gently reminds me through His Word and His creation. Sometimes we have to go through seasons where we watch things come to end. But praise God, that He brings beauty and life even out of death. - amy
Today's post was edited and adapted from it's original post by Amy in November of 2015. We were in a season of transition and change, and leaning into God's faithfulness was incredibly helpful. We continue to experience seasons of change. Even now, with adult children, we are learning how to transition to a new era of parenting. Thank goodness, God doesn't change.
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Can you believe it? Breya is now 16 years old. How 16 years have come and gone, we do not know, and yet here we are. We will never forget the day we learned that we were pregnant. It was a quiet morning. We were still in bed. We weren't planning on having another child, but we weren't opposed to it. We were only a few months into a new ministry position. Amy had slipped out of bed and taken an over the counter pregnancy test. She had a funny look on her face when she returned. Next thing we knew, joyful laughter filled the house.
What a blessing! Baby number 5 was coming, we were so excited! Then came the day we learned that our baby was going to be a girl! All 6 of went to the ultrasound; Amy and Jay, and all 4 boys. We heard the heartbeat. We saw the movement of this little blessing. Then we heard, it's a girl! What a wonderful blessing! breya turns 16
16 years. We are so grateful We have watch our sweet little girl grow into a confident, beautiful, Jesus loving young woman. Gentle and kind. Great with kids, just like her momma. Smart. Witty. Servant hearted. A good friend. A leader among her peers. Talented, passionate, and we can't wait to see all the God has for her.
Happy birthday, Breya, we all love you so much. It's going to be a great year! Embrace it! - mom and dad
Today, we are reposting a blog that Amy originally wrote and posted back on December 21st, 2012.
There has been a lot of change since then, but the truth and challenge of living by faith is still real and relevant. We hope you find some encouragement in today's blog!
...for we walk by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV
What does it mean to live by faith and not by sight? I've heard this scripture for as long as I can remember. I can honestly say that I am actively learning what this really means.
I am excited to share with you that God is revealing this to me daily and it is beautiful! It has been another wild week for us filled with ups and downs. The last 2 days I have had the privilege to babysit for 2 of our former camp counselor staff and what a joy that has been! Monday as Jay was bringing our oldest 2 home from basketball. I was with the other 3 at another basketball game. He was barely able to make it into the driveway with our older van. I had noticed a leak stain on the garage earlier that day and phoned him to tell him. My old self would’ve freaked out and thought the worst. While my mind went to the worst possible scenario (we would have to live with 1 car for awhile because this one died), I quickly squelched that and Jay and I prayed, thanking God for this opportunity to see His hand at work without knowing what the outcome would be.
We did believe that God would work it all out. We had heard from the car mechanic on that it may be just some hoses, and while no one wants a car bill right before Christmas, we prayed and trusted God with it. We told the mechanic to make the repairs. When we picked up the van, we came home to a check from a dear friend that covered the amount for the repairs! She had no idea our car was being fixed or that we would need it, but felt God calling her to share what He had recently blessed her with.
God is faithful. The cool thing about this is I can see how He has allowed us to move to different places and build relationships with so many dear brothers and sisters in Christ through the years. Sure, we could’ve stayed in any one of the places we have worked and been content , but we would’ve missed out on so much of what God wanted us to learn. We also would’ve missed out on seeing how he would weave our lives back into the lives of others and all for HIS glory.
This morning, I received a phone call from my dear husband at 4:40 AM. Now if you know me at all, you know that I love my sleep! The Lord knew that when He gave me 5 babies who all slept through the night at a young age! Anyway, he said he either ran out of gas or his car really wasn’t fixed and he was stranded. Again, the old me would’ve been mad and complained selfishly about why I have to get up and go find some gas and take it to him at 4:45 AM. I can honestly say because of God at work in me, that I saw it as a privilege to serve him. Thankfully with a little gas and a jumped battery he was on his way again. As I was riding home, my heart turned to praise as I got excited about the extra time to spend with the Lord this morning! That would NOT have been my response in the past
You see I have learned that when my heart is full of praise to the LORD for ALL things good and bad, I am able to see His power and glory all around. Whether it’s in His provision of a friend dropping off food, or a coffee, or my children’s sweet faces as they share exciting things about their day, or a phone call of encouragement from a friend, or a rusted out hose in our car, or a frustrating conversation with one of our teenagers. I am learning to choose to see God’s hand and praise Him through it all- even if I can’t physically see the good right at the moment. It is a matter of learning to live by faith and not by sight!
- amy
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For the longest time we have heard about the importance of the Date Night. From our engagement till now, conference after conference, book after book, radio program after radio program; the date night is a necessity for a healthy marriage. And for years, we practiced the habit of the date night with great success.
We looked forward to date night. When the kids were little, we tried to slip out once maybe twice a month. Dinners, movies, concerts, shopping, walks, overnighters, romantic get-a-ways; date night was something we treasured. But as the kids grew older and our schedule more complex and complicated, the date night became somewhat elusive.
Date nights were opportunities for us to be together, to dream together, to laugh together, and to keep the spark alive.
But date nights can become a challenge. For us, we found ourselves putting our kids and work and schedules before our marriage. We lost sight of the need to work on our marriage. We forgot that we need to talk, not just about our day or the calendar, but to talk about us. We forgot that we needed to laugh, to dream, to simply be together. We needed to refocus, to reconnect, to recommit ourselves to the date night and to taking time to work on us. We needed to take the time to be us. So that's what we're did. We made the commitment to bring back date night.
Read any marriage book or listen to any marriage speaker and they will tell you that you need to make date nights a part of you marriage. The question is how?
How do you make date night part of your marriage? 1. Make the Commitment Together
We learned a long time ago that any decisions made by just one of us was a bad idea. But if we made a decision together, we were committed to see it happen. So, to make sure date nights happened, we committed to making date nights part of our regular family rhythm.
Together we were more committed to seeing that date nights happened. Our first commitment was one date a month. At the time, once a month worked with our schedules. As it became more of routine, it was easier to set aside two nights a month for date night. The point is, make the commitment together. From the Vlog2. Make it Doable
Back then, if we could, we would have scheduled a date night once a week. But the reality was we wouldn't be able to do that. Life just didn't allow for a weekly date night. So instead of setting a goal that we knew we wouldn't be able to obtain, we started with something we could manage.
As our kids grew and schedules changed, we were able to add more date nights. We also considered the time of year, know that same seasons made date nights a little more challenging. We decided to keep our commitment to one date night a month, and be flexible with additional date night opportunities. If you and your spouse are still working through the busyness of life, don't try to commit to something that you know you can't follow through with. Start small and build upon it. Make the commitment to go on one date each month. As you take control of your busyness, you can add another date night as you go. 3. Make it Fun
One of the things we loved about our early date nights was that they allowed us the time to have fun together. It's not like we had to go and do a bunch of activities, we loved being together because being together was fun.
As you think about your date nights, have fun. If dinner is fun, go to dinner. If a movie is fun, see a movie. If taking a walk through a park is fun, go for a walk. Being with your spouse should be fun. So have fun.
Now, let's be honest. The best thing about date nights is that at the end of the night you get to go home...together. Have your date night, have fun, and then head home together for a little more fun.
The point is, make date night a priority for your marriage. If you are not already scheduling date nights into your weekly or monthly schedules, try to do so. Make the commitment as a couple. Make date nights doable. And make them fun. If's it been awhile since your last date night, what's keeping you? Why not schedule a date night for this weekend. And if you are a master of the date night, find a couple to encourage Introduce them your date night routine and help them practice the habit of the date night.
If marriage is your priority, than make date night a part of your marriage.
We want to hear some of your best date night ideas! Share your favorite locations, activities, memories. Encourage other couples to make dating a regular part of their marriage. We look forward to reading your comments. - jay & amy
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How often do you tell your spouse you love them? Weekly? Daily? Do you think you say it enough?
Early in our marriage, we read the book, The 5 Love Languages, The Secret to Love That Lasts, by Gary Chapman. The book was helpful as we discovered something very important about who we were and what we longed for. In the book, Gary introduces 5 ways that we might express or desire love.
The premise is simple. As individuals, we each have a love language. That love language flows in two directions. First, it's how we might show love. For example, if you like to give gifts, then your love language, or one of the ways that you show love, might be by giving gifts to family and friends. If this is the case, you might also like receiving gifts, holding them as treasures and blessing.
But, like so many things in marriage, we too often forget the importance of speaking our love languages. This has never been more true than recently. It's three little, simple words, and yet they carry significant weight and importance. I. LOVE. YOU.
When you are married to someone with words of affirmation as one of their love languages, saying I Love You, is crazy important. And, wonderfully powerful. The trouble comes when you yourself are not one who is good at speaking words of affirmation. I [Jay] love Amy, like crazy. And, she knows that I love her. Yet, she needs to hear me say those words to her. But since my love language isn't words of affirmation, I don't always think to say those words. I need to be reminded, often, to tell Amy that I love her. And when I do...well, it's pretty great.
As we make our marriage a priority, reminding each other to speak our love languages is something that we have to continually work on. It's going to take a committed effort on both our parts, to speak the words of affection that we enjoy hearing. To help us do this, we do our best to practice the following.
1. AM & PM
Start and end each day by saying, I love you, to each other. It should be pretty easy to say, I love you, when you wake up and before you fall asleep. Wake up, roll over, say, I love you. As you climb into bed at night, lean over and say, I love you.
2. Text it All Day Long
If you haven't discovered the benefits of texting, you really need to. In the midst of a busy day, the ability to send a quick text message is crazy helpful. At any point during the day, you can pick up your phone, type out a quick message, and send a short, I love you, to you spouse. It always feels good when they respond with their own, I Love You!
From the Vlog3. Leave a Love Note
It might sound a little strange, but sometimes writing, I Love You, is just as easy as saying, I Love You. Like I said, strange. But sometimes it's easier to write a short letter that reminds you spouse how you feel about them. Think about it, before texting, before IM, before email, before any other modern day messaging service, there was the love letter. Simple, yet the perfect way to express your feelings. When was the last time you wrote a love letter to your spouse? Why not take a few minutes and write one today.
4. Keep a Love Journal
I think we've mentioned the Love Journal before. A Love Journal is just that, a journal where you share your love, thoughts, feelings, and creative ideas for spending time together. We keep a love journal that we take turns writing in. It's a great way to keep things spontaneous and fun.
I love you. Simple words. Without them, a distance grows. With them, an intimacy that demonstrates your priorities. Love your spouse. Tell your spouse you love them. Make your marriage a priority.
- jay & amy
We like the idea of DIY - Do It Yourself. over the years we've taken on a number os small projects in and around the house. Painting, minor remodeling, landscaping, backyard farming are just a few examples. Most of the projects have been for fun. But when you start doing projects that end up saving you hundreds of dollars, well, that a whole new kind of DIY!! Jay just changed the spark plugs and coils in our Kia and saved us a ton of money!
It's true! A couple of weeks a go, our Kia was in the shop. The engine had developed a rough idle and was loosing power when accelerating. When diagnosed, we were told it was one of our ignition coils. We were given a price for the repair and because Jay was too busy to really deal with it, we told the mechanic to fix it. We needed the car fixed ASAP.
But just this last week, we started experiencing the same issues. Rough idle. Loss of power. Just like before. However this time, we decided that we were going to fix it ourselves. Jay did a little Googling, watched a few YouTube videos, and made a plan. First, an oil change. We were due for an oil change anyway. Our oil was low that last time we had this problem so changing the oil just seemed the right thing to do. Second, replace the spark plugs and coils. Our idling and low power symptoms fit the diagnosis, so why not.
Jay visit our local auto parts store, ordered what was needed, and got to work. How it did it all turn out? Check out today's Life in the Higham House episode, Save Money. Do It Yourself! pumpkins. pumpkins. pumpkins.
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Welcome to the Life in the Higham House , we are glad you are visiting. As a family of 7, we have had our fair share of adventures. We share our stories with the hope of passing along what we have learned, what we love, and what God is doing in our lives to encourage you and your family. But we love to hear from our readers, so please share your thought in the comment section of each post.
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