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Every year, it happens.

Summer arrives with all kinds of expectations.

We imagine backyard barbecues where everyone gets along. Family vacations without meltdowns. Weekly adventures worthy of social media posts. A summer packed with memory-making moments that somehow leave everyone refreshed, connected, and ready for the next school year.

And then reality sets in.

Schedules conflict. Budgets are tight. The weather doesn't cooperate. Kids argue. Parents are exhausted. Ministry responsibilities continue. Work doesn't stop. The laundry still piles up.
Before we know it, the pressure to create the "perfect summer" can steal the joy of the summer we're actually living.

Maybe this is the summer we stop chasing perfection.

Maybe this is the summer we embrace what matters most.

We live in a world that constantly invites us to compare.

We scroll through photos of elaborate vacations, color-coordinated family outings, and endless lists of "must-do" summer experiences. While there is nothing wrong with creating special memories, comparison often leaves us feeling like we're falling short.

But the families our children remember most aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest adventures. They're the ones where they felt seen, loved, valued, and connected.

Your family doesn't need a picture-perfect summer.

They need you.

Present. Available. Engaged.

Comparison has a way of robbing us of gratitude for the gifts God has already placed in front of us. Instead of asking, "Are we doing enough?" perhaps we should ask, "Are we paying attention to the people God has entrusted to us?"

Summer calendars can fill up quickly. Sports camps. Church events. Vacation Bible School. Family reunions. Mission trips. Vacations. Sleepovers.

None of these things are bad. Many of them are wonderful opportunities.
But if we're not careful, we can become so busy making memories that we miss being present in them.

Children often spell love differently than adults do.

Adults tend to spell love A-C-H-I-E-V-E-M-E-N-T.

Kids often spell love T-I-M-E.

The goal of summer isn't to maximize every minute. It's to maximize meaningful moments.

Faith formation doesn't only happen during big events. It happens around dinner tables. On evening walks. In car rides. During ice cream runs. While watching fireflies dance in the backyard.
​
The ordinary moments often become the sacred ones.

What if, instead of trying to do everything this summer, your family chose just a few things to prioritize?

A weekly family movie night. Saturday morning pancakes. One family service project. A monthly adventure day. Reading Scripture together before bed.

Intentionality matters more than extravagance. Years from now, your children may not remember every activity on the calendar. But they will remember how your family made them feel. Were they welcomed? Were they heard? Did they laugh? Did they know they belonged?

Those moments shape families.

Summer doesn't have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. Sometimes wisdom looks like slowing down enough to notice the gifts we've already been given.

Rather than creating a summer checklist designed to impress others, create a bucket list designed to bring your family together.

Invite everyone to contribute ideas. Keep it simple. Keep it realistic. Most importantly, keep it focused on connection.

Summer Bucket List Ideas

• Have a backyard campfire and make s'mores.
• Watch a movie outside.
• Visit a local ice cream shop.
• Go on a family bike ride.
• Attend a minor league baseball game.
• Have a water balloon fight.
• Explore a new playground or park.
• Volunteer together as a family.
• Go on a prayer walk through your neighborhood.
• Watch the sunset together.
• Have breakfast for dinner.
• Spend one day completely screen-free.
• Visit the library and choose books together.
• Write encouraging notes to friends or neighbors.
• Build a blanket fort and play board games.
• Create a family gratitude jar.
• Take a day trip to somewhere nearby.
• Make homemade popsicles.
• Stargaze in the backyard.

Ask each family member, "What is one thing you hope we do together this summer?" You don't have to complete every item. The goal isn't accomplishment. The goal is togetherness.

A Final Thought
At the end of summer, your children probably won't remember whether everything went according to plan.

But they will remember whether they felt loved. Whether Mom and Dad laughed. Whether there was space to talk. Whether family time mattered.

So here's permission to release the pressure. Your family doesn't need a perfect summer.
They simply need you—showing up, slowing down, and choosing connection one intentional moment at a time. And maybe, just maybe, this imperfect summer will become the one you needed most.

1. ​What is one thing you hope our family does together this summer?
2. What is one tradition you'd like to start?
3. What helps you feel most connected as a family?
4. What activity could we remove from our schedule to create more margin?
5. How can we make space to grow closer to God together this summer?
6. This Week's Challenge
7. Gather your family around the dinner table and create your own Summer Bucket List.
8. Choose 10 simple experiences that prioritize connection over perfection.
9. Write them down.
10. Hang the list on the refrigerator.
11. Then enjoy the gift of an ordinary summer lived with extraordinary intention.

We'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment, question, or encourage below.

- jay & amy

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In our post last week, STAYING CONNECTED TO YOUR SPOUSE IN THE CHAOS OF RAISING KIDS, we started a conversation that we hoped will be encouraging and helpful to parents who find themselves steeped in the busyness of raising kids. Marriage, our marriages, are super important and something we should be striving to keep healthy and a vibrant. We want to continue that conversation as we consider what it might look like to reconsider some simple priorities.

We know raising kids can consume everything. Having raised five of our own, we have walked through seasons of busyness. Schedules, practices, homework, meals, church events, bedtime routines… it can feel like it's nonstop. And somewhere in the middle of doing everything for your children, it becomes easy to slowly, quietly neglect your marriage.

Not intentionally. Not maliciously. Just gradually.

But here’s a truth worth holding onto: Raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage.

As parents, we often focus on what we say—the lessons, the correction, the encouragement. But your kids are learning just as much (if not more) from what they see.

​They’re watching:

• How you speak to each other
• How you handle conflict
• Whether you prioritize time together
• If your relationship feels like a partnership… or just a logistics team

Your marriage is setting a living, breathing example of love, commitment, forgiveness, and respect. By making the time to put your marriage first, you show your kids what it looks like to live out your covenantal vows.

Remember, ​Your kids are watching your marriage as much as they’re listening to your words.

In Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded: “The two shall become one flesh.” Marriage was God’s idea—and it came before parenting. That order matters.

Your relationship with your spouse wasn’t meant to be secondary. It was designed to be foundational. Strong marriages create stable homes. Healthy relationships model God’s love to your children in ways words never can.

You don’t just want to make it through the parenting years.

You want a marriage that:

• Is strong when the kids leave
• Feels connected, not distant
• Reflects commitment and love over decades
• Continues to grow, deepen, and thrive

Because one day, it will just be the two of you again. And the investment you make now will determine what that season looks like.

Your kids need your love, your leadership, and your presence.

But they also need to see a marriage worth believing in. So in the middle of the chaos, don’t forget this:
The greatest gift you can give your children is not just a well-managed life—but a healthy, thriving marriage.

- jay & amy

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Let’s be honest—this season of life can feel like pure chaos. Between school schedules, sports practices, meals, church commitments, and the constant exhaustion, it can feel like you’re just trying to survive the day. And in the middle of it all, something subtle can begin to happen: the distance between you and your spouse slowly grows.

Not because you don’t love each other—but because life gets loud.

We’ve lived this. At one point, we had five kids in five different schools, multiple sports schedules pulling us in every direction, were planting a church, working full-time, and running in-home childcare.

It was too much.

And somewhere in the busyness, we realized—if we weren’t intentional, our marriage was going to take the hit.

This isn’t about guilt. It’s about awareness and intentionality.

Here’s a truth that can be hard to hear but is incredibly important: raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage.

Your kids are watching your relationship just as much as they’re listening to your words. They are learning what love, commitment, forgiveness, and partnership look like by watching you.

And while parenting is incredibly important, it’s also temporary. Your kids will grow up and move out.

But your marriage—that’s a lifelong covenant.

In Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded that a husband and wife become “one flesh.” Marriage was established before parenting. That means your relationship with your spouse isn’t secondary—it’s foundational.

​You want a marriage that not only survives these years, but thrives long after your kids leave home.

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You are called to disciple your kids—but you can’t pour out what you’re not receiving.

If your spiritual life is running on empty, it will eventually impact your home. Staying rooted in Christ—both individually and as a couple—is essential.

In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, we see that faith is meant to be lived out daily—in conversations, routines, and rhythms of life.

​A healthy, Christ-centered marriage becomes one of the most powerful testimonies your kids will ever see.

Here’s a question worth asking: does your family revolve around your values—or your calendar?

It’s easy to let sports, activities, and opportunities dictate your life. But as parents, you are the leaders of your home—not the schedule.

That means you get to decide what matters most.

Some practical shifts:

• Decide your family values first—then build your schedule around them
• Be willing to say no to good things to protect the best things
• Prioritize time together as a couple, even when it’s inconvenient

​Because at the end of the day, a strong, connected marriage doesn’t happen by accident—it happens on purpose.

This season may be full, fast, and even overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to cost you your marriage.

​Stay intentional. Stay connected. And don’t lose sight of what matters most.

​We'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts and comments below.

​- jay & amy

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Every parent is shaping something. The question isn’t if we are forming our children—it’s what we are forming them into.

In a culture full of competing voices, Christian parents are called to be intentional about building a home centered on Christ. Scripture gives us a clear charge:

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children.” — Deuteronomy 6:6–7

​Raising children in a faith-based home doesn’t happen accidentally. It happens through steady, prayerful priorities. Here are five foundational commitments that help cultivate lasting faith in the next generation.

Before we can pass faith on to our children, it must be real and growing in us.

Children are far more likely to imitate what we model than obey what we say. If they see mom and dad genuinely walking with Jesus—repenting, praying, reading Scripture, worshiping, asking forgiveness—they learn that faith is not a Sunday activity but a daily relationship.

Faith cannot be inherited; it must be embraced. Our goal is not to raise children who simply adopt our beliefs, but who personally surrender their lives to Christ.

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.” — Acts 16:31

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 11:1

Practical Steps:

• Let your children see you read the Bible and pray.
• Share how God is working in your own life.
• Admit when you fail and point them back to grace.
• Talk about salvation openly and often.

​A faith-based home begins with parents who love Jesus first.

Christianity was never meant to be lived in isolation. Our children need more than just faithful parents—they need faithful people.

The local church provides spiritual friendships, mentors, and intergenerational influence. When kids see other adults loving Jesus, serving, and worshiping, their faith becomes bigger than their immediate family.

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together…” — Hebrews 10:24–25

Faith community reinforces what is taught at home and reminds our children they are part of something larger—the body of Christ.

Practical Steps:

• Build friendships with other believing families.
• Invite people from church into your home.
• Encourage your children to build Christian friendships.
• Speak positively about the church.

​Your children should grow up knowing: This is our spiritual family.

What we prioritize communicates what we value.

If church attendance is optional or frequently displaced by other activities, children learn that faith fits in when convenient. But when gathering with the church is a steady rhythm of life, it shapes identity and consistency.

Age-specific ministries—kids ministry and student ministry—are not babysitting services; they are intentional discipleship environments designed to meet children at their developmental stage.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6

Consistency over time builds spiritual depth.

Practical Steps:

• Guard Sunday mornings as sacred time.
• Treat youth group and student gatherings as priorities.
• Debrief what your children learned after church.
• Pray for their ministry leaders.

​When church is not a chore but a joy, it becomes part of your family culture.

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Faith grows when it is practiced.

Serving teaches children humility, compassion, generosity, and obedience. When families serve together, children learn that following Jesus includes action—not just belief.

Jesus modeled what it looks like to live as one who serves:

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve…” — Mark 10:45

​Serving shifts focus outward and shapes hearts.

Practical Steps:

• Volunteer together at church.
• Participate in community outreach projects.
• Deliver meals, visit shut-ins, or support local ministries.
• Encourage your children to use their gifts for God’s glory.

Serving together creates shared spiritual memories that often leave a deeper imprint than any lecture.

A living faith is a sharing faith.

Children should grow up understanding that the gospel is good news meant to be shared. Teaching them how to talk about Jesus builds confidence and boldness rooted in love—not pressure.

“Go and make disciples of all nations…” — Matthew 28:19

“Always be prepared to give an answer… for the hope that you have.” — 1 Peter 3:15
Evangelism begins at home.

Practical Steps:

• Help them articulate their testimony.
• Pray for their friends who don’t know Jesus.
• Role-play conversations about faith.
• Celebrate when they invite a friend to church.

When children understand that their faith matters beyond themselves, it strengthens their own conviction.

Raising children in a home centered on faith is not about perfection—it’s about direction.

There will be seasons of struggle. There will be questions. There will be moments when faith feels fragile. But God works through steady, imperfect obedience.

“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

As parents, our calling is to plant, water, and pray. God brings the growth.

A faith-based home is built one conversation, one prayer, one Sunday, one act of service at a time.

And by God’s grace, those small, consistent investments shape both you and your children's faith journey.

In His Grace
​- jay & amy

Here are three discussion questions to help you can reflect on together:

1. Is our personal faith in Jesus visible and authentic in our home?
​In what practical ways are we modeling repentance, prayer, grace, and dependence on Christ for our children to see?

2. Do our family priorities clearly communicate that church and faith community matter?
If someone looked at our calendar and commitments, would they see that gathering with God’s people is central or optional?

3. Are we intentionally creating opportunities to serve and share our faith as a family?
What is one step we can take this month to practice living out our faith beyond our home?

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- Thursday, February `12, 2026
We're back with part two of the Parenting in Real Life episodes with, The Fails. Back in episode 3, we talked about The Wins (Parenting in Real Life: The Wins). As we look back, these are the moments that make us smile. But for every win there is a fail, moments when looking back we wish we would have handled differently. In this episode we're sharing stories and the lessons learned from our parenting fails.

Point 1: We’re Not Perfect — Parenting Is On-the-Job Training
God never asked us to be perfect parents—He asks us to be faithful and teachable ones.

• Parenting often feels like learning after the test. 
• We expect perfection from ourselves in a role God designed to grow us.
• Our kids don’t need flawless parents; they need parents who model humility, repentance, and dependence on God.
• God uses our limitations to show His sufficiency.

Point 2: Be Quick to Ask for Forgiveness So You Can Be Quick to Give Forgiveness
One of the greatest gifts we give our kids is showing them how to repair what’s broken.

• Apologizing to your kids doesn’t weaken your authority—it builds trust.
• When we confess quickly, we model emotional and spiritual maturity.
• Our kids learn how to forgive by watching how we handle our own failures.
• A simple “I was wrong—will you forgive me?” can be deeply healing.

Point 3: Let Go of Guilt, Shame, and Regret — Embrace God’s Grace and Forgiveness
Shame keeps us stuck in the past, but grace invites us forward.

• Guilt says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “I am something wrong.”
• God addresses conviction, not condemnation.
• Carrying shame doesn’t make us better parents—it makes us fearful ones.
• God’s grace is not dependent on how well we parented yesterday.​

Take the podcast to the next step and download out discussion questions. Use these questions to talk with your spouse. Download the questions here: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS.

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We were recently asked a question that has stayed with us: “What is the biggest risk factor to kids in this generation that is leaning or turning them away from God?”

It’s a big question—one that deserves more than a quick, simple response. The temptation is to immediately point to culture, technology, or “the world today,” but we think wisdom requires us to pause, reflect, and respond with both truth and humility.

As we've thought about this question, two foundational realities continue to come into focus.

This may be the most important—and most freeing—truth for parents and caregivers to acknowledge: we are not the authors of our children’s faith stories. God is.

Scripture reminds us that God is the One who draws hearts, transforms lives, and sustains faith. Our kids’ relationship with Him is ultimately His work, not ours to manufacture or control. That doesn’t mean our role is insignificant—far from it—but it does mean we are not sovereign over outcomes.

At baptism (or dedication), we make a sacred promise: to raise our children in the faith, to teach them God’s Word, to model a life of following Jesus, and to place them in environments where faith can grow. We are faithful stewards, not ultimate decision-makers.

Recognizing this truth guards us from two dangerous extremes: crushing ourselves with guilt when our kids struggle, or trying to control them out of fear. Trusting God with their story allows us to lead with faith instead of panic.

While we aren’t in control of our kids’ faith journey, we do play a meaningful role in shaping the environment they grow up in. And some of the greatest risk factors today are not subtle.

One major risk factor is unfiltered access to technology—cell phones, the internet, social media, and the lack of supervision that often comes with them.

Our kids are being formed every day by what they consume. Social media disciples them in values, identity, comparison, sexuality, success, and worth—often in ways that directly contradict the gospel. Without guidance, accountability, and boundaries, we are handing powerful tools to young hearts that are still learning discernment.

Technology itself isn’t the enemy, but unchecked and unshepherded access can slowly shape beliefs and behaviors long before we realize it. If we are intentional about sports schedules, school choices, and bedtime routines, we must be equally intentional about digital formation.

Another significant risk factor is allowing our feelings to direct our decisions instead of grounding our lives in the Word of God.

​We live in a culture that elevates emotion as ultimate truth: If it feels right, it must be right. When feelings become the primary authority, truth becomes flexible, and faith becomes fragile. Our kids notice when we say one thing about God but live another based on comfort, convenience, or cultural pressure.
​
When parents and leaders prioritize peacekeeping over truth, affirmation over discipleship, or personal comfort over obedience, kids learn that faith is optional when it becomes costly.

We model a faith that is authentic, anchored, and humble.

We admit when we don’t have all the answers, but we show our kids where we go to find truth. We set loving boundaries around technology, not out of fear, but out of wisdom. We allow God’s Word—not our emotions or the loudest cultural voices—to be the foundation on which we stand.

And above all, we trust God. We pray relentlessly. We stay present. We keep showing up.

The greatest risk factor may not be any single influence, but the quiet drift that happens when we stop being intentional. The greatest hope, however, remains unchanged: God is faithful, He is at work, and He loves our kids even more than we do.

jay & amy

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It's Fall in West Virginia, which means crisp, cold days, falling leaves, and sweatshirts and sweaters. But we've been experiencing some beautifully warm days this past week and I am soaking it up.  In years past, I was blessed to be able to take morning runs with my sweet dog on one of the local trails in our community.  It was a season of life when all five kids in school all day. It was the perfect time to be in God's creation while getting in a little exercise. I would put my headphones in, find a good Bible-teaching podcast to listen to, leash up our dog, and away I went.

On one such outing, I started paying attention to my surroundings and the season we are in. Lots of leaves were on the trail leaving just a little color left on some of the trees. I started to think about the seasons and how each one has a beauty of its own. Then my mind wandered to how each season of our lives also has a beauty all its own. In some ways I couldn't wait for the season where all 5 were in school all day, and yet part of me dreaded it.  I loved having little ones at home with me all day. Yes, there were many challenges along the way, but for the most part I truly cherished it. At different points, Jay and I discussed and prayed about employment outside of the home, and there were seasons where I did work, both in and out of the house. But this particular season, we decided I had enough work to do to keep our home running. So we will continued to make the sacrifices and live on one income. 

I remember struggling with the reality that my kids weren't little anymore. It was also a time of transition, leaving a church where I had grown to love the people we served dearly, and quite frankly, the pain of having to say goodbye. But as I ran, looking at the rolling green hills and the fall colors still left on the trees, I felt God’s presence and peace fell upon me.

​I remember thinking, 'soon the trees will be bare and brown, and we will wait for snow to brighten up what’s become dingy and dead.' It was in this moment that I was reminded of the life that comes out of God’s love for His children. As God continues to shape me, I am more and more aware of His presence and peace during tough times. While it may look like things around me are dying, He is preparing to bring new life from within my circumstances.

The same is true as we go through season of change in our family. The kids get older. They grow up. And before you know it, they are all young adults, beginning to live their own lives. Every day that are little more independent. And while it's hard, we have to learn to let them go.

I remember God nudging my heart, telling me to enjoy the life that is around me and the new season He is bringing me into. I had to learn to watch as His hand created something new and exciting out of something that was seemingly lifeless and dull. Only a loving Creator can do that.

In Ecclesiastes 3:11, we read, “He makes all things beautiful in His time.” And it is in His time, not ours. Today, I am continuing to learn to be thankful that my Heavenly Father chooses to take the time to show me His love over and over again; a Father who gently reminds me through His Word and His creation.

Sometimes we have to go through seasons where we watch things come to end. But praise God, that He brings beauty and life even out of death.

​- amy

Today's post was edited and adapted from it's original post by Amy in November of 2015. We were in a season of transition and change, and leaning into God's faithfulness was incredibly helpful. We continue to experience seasons of change. Even now, with adult children, we are learning how to transition to a new era of parenting. Thank goodness, God doesn't change.

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We have been blessed to have the privilege of raising up 5 kids. Our oldest was born in 1998. Our youngest, 2008. We have loved raising our kids. Every aspect, from holding them as babies, to watching them learn to walk and talk, to starting school, to graduating high school. Everything. Every bit of every minute of raising our kids. We love it.

But not too many years ago, our oldest crossed over into adulthood. Shortly after that, No.2. More recently No.4 turned 18. That's 4 of the 5, now adults. The oldest lives on his own, has a great job, and is doing well. No.2, is married, has a great job, has 2 kids, and he and his wife are doing great. No.3 also has a really good job, has an amazing puppy, and is building his life. No.4 is 18, just graduated from high school, is preparing for college, and is excited about the future. And just so we're not leaving anyone out, No.5 will soon turn 16, and is doing great in high school.

The point is, we have moved from a place of raising little kids to now doing life with our adult (or almost adult) kids! The difference? With little kids, you are the parent. You're the on in control. With adult kids, you are just the parent. Adult kids like to make their own decisions, choose for themselves, and live how they want to live. With little kids you are the smart one; you have all the answers. Your stories are interesting and funny. Your counsel and advice is needed. With adult kids, they're the smart ones. They have all the answers. Your stories are just that, stories. And your counsel and advice...it's unsolicited, unwanted, and often unwelcome.

So what do you do? You still want to to encourage and counsel, you still want what's best for them. But how do you parent when your adult kids no longer welcome your parenting?

​As parents we might ask questions such as...

• My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong?
• Is it OK to give advice to my grown child?
• What's the difference between enabling and helping?
• What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home?
• What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood?
• How do I relate to my grown child's significant other?
• What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries?
• How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values?

In his book, Doing Life With Your Adult Children, Keep Your Mouth Shut & The Welcome Mat Out, Jim shares nine principles for parents to consider as they do life with their adult kids. These principles aren't just ideas, they are proven practices, applied in the "lab-of- life" as Jim and his wife Cathy did life with their adult children. He shares what they've learned with the reader, with the hope of helping parents navigate the thorny complexities of parenting adult children.

I have spent the last several years researching this complex topic, listening to parents, and discussing these issues with parents and adult children alike. Cathy and I have lived out the principles in this book with our own family.
​
My goal has been to write a book that is both hopeful and enlightening, practical and life changing. You’ll have to let me know what you think.
​
~Jim Burns
* Taken from the Amazon selling page for Doing Life With Your Adult Children, Keep Your Mouth Shut & The Welcome Mat Out.

Looking for a few more marriage and parenting resources? Check out these additional titles from Jim Burns. Click on the book cover to learn more and buy your copy.

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Be sure to visit the BOOK SHELF, our grow library of resources for parenting, marriage, faith, and life. These are books that we have read, found to be incredibly helpful, and highly recommend. The library is always growing as we continue to learn as a individuals, as husband and wife, and as parents.