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Throughout this series, we have been looking at simple ways families can stay connected during a busy back-to-school season.
In part one, we focused on repeatable moments such as a ten-minute evening reset and one protected family meal. In part two, we explored how car rides, errands, family group texts, and a Sunday calendar check can help us make better use of the time we already share.
But creating opportunities for connection is only part of the picture. We also need to consider how present we are during those moments. Our children do not need us to have the perfect words or solve every problem. They need to know that we see them, hear them, and are willing to walk alongside them. As we conclude this series, let’s look at how focused attention, patient observation, and everyday faith conversations can help our families remain close—even when life is full. Be Fully Present for Short Periods
We sometimes assume that the amount of time we spend with someone matters most. But ten minutes of focused attention can be more meaningful than an hour spent in the same room while everyone is distracted.
When your child begins talking, put down your phone when you can. Close the computer. Turn away from the television. Look at them and listden. Being fully present communicates value. Of course, we will not do this perfectly. There will be times when we are tired, distracted, or trying to manage several responsibilities at once. When we realize we have not been listening well, we can acknowledge it and try again. We can say, “I’m sorry. I was distracted, and I want to hear what you were saying.” Even that moment can build connection because it shows our children that their words are worth our attention. Notice When Someone Begins to Withdraw
Busy schedules can sometimes hide what is happening emotionally within a family.
A child who is struggling may become unusually quiet, spend more time alone, stop participating in family conversations, or respond with irritation whenever someone tries to connect. Teenagers naturally need increasing independence and privacy, but significant changes in behavior should still get our attention. Do not assume withdrawal is simply a bad attitude. Move toward them with patience and curiosity. Avoid beginning with an accusation such as, “Why are you acting like this?” Try something gentler: “I’ve noticed you seem quieter than usual. How are you doing?” They may not answer immediately. Let them know that you are available, and keep checking in without pressuring them. If their withdrawal continues or you are concerned about their emotional well-being, do not be afraid to seek help from a pastor, school counselor, doctor, or qualified mental-health professional. One of the most important things we can communicate is that no one in our family has to carry something difficult alone. Make Faith Part of the Everyday Moments
Our points of connection can also become natural opportunities for spiritual conversations.
Pray together before leaving for school. Send a verse or encouraging message through the family text. Ask how you can pray for an upcoming test, difficult friendship, or important decision. Thank God together for something good that happened during the day. Deuteronomy 6 describes faith being shared through the ordinary rhythms of family life—at home, along the road, at bedtime, and when the day begins. Spiritual formation does not only happen during formal family devotions. It can happen in the car, around the table, through a text message, during an errand, or in a short conversation before bed. These everyday moments remind our children that God is present in every part of their lives—not only when the family is at church. Small Moments Hold Us Together
Amy and I are still learning how to stay connected when ministry, school, work, activities, and family responsibilities all compete for our attention. With four of our five kids leaving outside the house, we have to work harder to be intentional with our kids. We do not always get it right. Sometimes we recognize that we have spent more time managing schedules than listening to the people those schedules belong to. We still fill our time and then think, Gosh, I haven't talked to so and so in a while. I should give them a call.
When that happens, we try to come back to the small things. A conversation in the car. A text in the middle of the day. A quick trip to the store. A meal around the table. A few minutes sitting on the edge of a bed. A phone call or FaceTime. These moments may not look extraordinary, but they remind us that we are known, loved, and not alone. Your family does not need another elaborate event added to an already crowded calendar. You may simply need a few small points of connection that you can depend on. This Week’s Family Challenge
This Week’s Family ChallengeChoose two small connection points your family can repeat every week throughout the fall.
You might choose:
Keep your choices simple and realistic. Put them on the calendar if necessary, and give them time to become part of your family’s rhythm.
Small moments, repeated consistently, can help hold a busy family together.
What simple habits help your family stay connected when everyone’s schedule is full? Share your ideas in the comments. Your family’s rhythm might be exactly the encouragement another family needs. If this series has encouraged you, follow the blog and connect with us through the Gathered in the Higham House podcast, The Almost Daily Vlog, and our social media channels for more honest conversations and practical encouragement about family, faith, and everyday life. We’re cheering you on, Amy and Jay
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Every year, it happens.
Summer arrives with all kinds of expectations. We imagine backyard barbecues where everyone gets along. Family vacations without meltdowns. Weekly adventures worthy of social media posts. A summer packed with memory-making moments that somehow leave everyone refreshed, connected, and ready for the next school year. And then reality sets in.
Schedules conflict. Budgets are tight. The weather doesn't cooperate. Kids argue. Parents are exhausted. Ministry responsibilities continue. Work doesn't stop. The laundry still piles up.
Before we know it, the pressure to create the "perfect summer" can steal the joy of the summer we're actually living. Maybe this is the summer we stop chasing perfection. Maybe this is the summer we embrace what matters most. Let Go of Pinterest PerfectioN
We live in a world that constantly invites us to compare.
We scroll through photos of elaborate vacations, color-coordinated family outings, and endless lists of "must-do" summer experiences. While there is nothing wrong with creating special memories, comparison often leaves us feeling like we're falling short. But the families our children remember most aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest adventures. They're the ones where they felt seen, loved, valued, and connected. Your family doesn't need a picture-perfect summer. They need you. Present. Available. Engaged. Comparison has a way of robbing us of gratitude for the gifts God has already placed in front of us. Instead of asking, "Are we doing enough?" perhaps we should ask, "Are we paying attention to the people God has entrusted to us?"
Choose Connection Over a Packed SchedulE
Summer calendars can fill up quickly. Sports camps. Church events. Vacation Bible School. Family reunions. Mission trips. Vacations. Sleepovers.
None of these things are bad. Many of them are wonderful opportunities. But if we're not careful, we can become so busy making memories that we miss being present in them. Children often spell love differently than adults do. Adults tend to spell love A-C-H-I-E-V-E-M-E-N-T. Kids often spell love T-I-M-E. The goal of summer isn't to maximize every minute. It's to maximize meaningful moments. Faith formation doesn't only happen during big events. It happens around dinner tables. On evening walks. In car rides. During ice cream runs. While watching fireflies dance in the backyard. The ordinary moments often become the sacred ones. Focus on a Few Intentional Moments
What if, instead of trying to do everything this summer, your family chose just a few things to prioritize?
A weekly family movie night. Saturday morning pancakes. One family service project. A monthly adventure day. Reading Scripture together before bed. Intentionality matters more than extravagance. Years from now, your children may not remember every activity on the calendar. But they will remember how your family made them feel. Were they welcomed? Were they heard? Did they laugh? Did they know they belonged? Those moments shape families. Summer doesn't have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. Sometimes wisdom looks like slowing down enough to notice the gifts we've already been given. Create a Family Summer Bucket List
Rather than creating a summer checklist designed to impress others, create a bucket list designed to bring your family together.
Invite everyone to contribute ideas. Keep it simple. Keep it realistic. Most importantly, keep it focused on connection. Summer Bucket List Ideas
Ask each family member, "What is one thing you hope we do together this summer?" You don't have to complete every item. The goal isn't accomplishment. The goal is togetherness.
A Final Thought
At the end of summer, your children probably won't remember whether everything went according to plan. But they will remember whether they felt loved. Whether Mom and Dad laughed. Whether there was space to talk. Whether family time mattered. So here's permission to release the pressure. Your family doesn't need a perfect summer. They simply need you—showing up, slowing down, and choosing connection one intentional moment at a time. And maybe, just maybe, this imperfect summer will become the one you needed most. Family Discussion Questions
We'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment, question, or encourage below.
- jay & amy
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In our post last week, STAYING CONNECTED TO YOUR SPOUSE IN THE CHAOS OF RAISING KIDS, we started a conversation that we hoped will be encouraging and helpful to parents who find themselves steeped in the busyness of raising kids. Marriage, our marriages, are super important and something we should be striving to keep healthy and a vibrant. We want to continue that conversation as we consider what it might look like to reconsider some simple priorities.
We know raising kids can consume everything. Having raised five of our own, we have walked through seasons of busyness. Schedules, practices, homework, meals, church events, bedtime routines… it can feel like it's nonstop. And somewhere in the middle of doing everything for your children, it becomes easy to slowly, quietly neglect your marriage. Not intentionally. Not maliciously. Just gradually. But here’s a truth worth holding onto: Raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage. Your Kids Are Watching More Than You Think
As parents, we often focus on what we say—the lessons, the correction, the encouragement. But your kids are learning just as much (if not more) from what they see.
They’re watching:
Your marriage is setting a living, breathing example of love, commitment, forgiveness, and respect. By making the time to put your marriage first, you show your kids what it looks like to live out your covenantal vows. Remember, Your kids are watching your marriage as much as they’re listening to your words.
A Short-Term Assignment vs. A Lifelong Covenant
God’s Design Was Intentional
In Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded: “The two shall become one flesh.” Marriage was God’s idea—and it came before parenting. That order matters.
Your relationship with your spouse wasn’t meant to be secondary. It was designed to be foundational. Strong marriages create stable homes. Healthy relationships model God’s love to your children in ways words never can. Choosing to Invest in Your Marriage
The Goal Isn’t Just Surviving—It’s Thriving
You don’t just want to make it through the parenting years.
You want a marriage that:
Because one day, it will just be the two of you again. And the investment you make now will determine what that season looks like. A Final Thought
Your kids need your love, your leadership, and your presence.
But they also need to see a marriage worth believing in. So in the middle of the chaos, don’t forget this: The greatest gift you can give your children is not just a well-managed life—but a healthy, thriving marriage.
- jay & amy
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Let’s be honest—this season of life can feel like pure chaos. Between school schedules, sports practices, meals, church commitments, and the constant exhaustion, it can feel like you’re just trying to survive the day. And in the middle of it all, something subtle can begin to happen: the distance between you and your spouse slowly grows.
Not because you don’t love each other—but because life gets loud. We’ve lived this. At one point, we had five kids in five different schools, multiple sports schedules pulling us in every direction, were planting a church, working full-time, and running in-home childcare. It was too much. And somewhere in the busyness, we realized—if we weren’t intentional, our marriage was going to take the hit. This isn’t about guilt. It’s about awareness and intentionality. Reframing priorities
Here’s a truth that can be hard to hear but is incredibly important: raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage.
Your kids are watching your relationship just as much as they’re listening to your words. They are learning what love, commitment, forgiveness, and partnership look like by watching you. And while parenting is incredibly important, it’s also temporary. Your kids will grow up and move out. But your marriage—that’s a lifelong covenant. In Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded that a husband and wife become “one flesh.” Marriage was established before parenting. That means your relationship with your spouse isn’t secondary—it’s foundational. You want a marriage that not only survives these years, but thrives long after your kids leave home. Resources for parents
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Your Spiritual Foundation Matters
You are called to disciple your kids—but you can’t pour out what you’re not receiving.
If your spiritual life is running on empty, it will eventually impact your home. Staying rooted in Christ—both individually and as a couple—is essential. In Deuteronomy 6:6–7, we see that faith is meant to be lived out daily—in conversations, routines, and rhythms of life. A healthy, Christ-centered marriage becomes one of the most powerful testimonies your kids will ever see. listen to the gathered podcastWho Sets the Tone in Your Home?
Here’s a question worth asking: does your family revolve around your values—or your calendar?
It’s easy to let sports, activities, and opportunities dictate your life. But as parents, you are the leaders of your home—not the schedule. That means you get to decide what matters most. Some practical shifts:
Because at the end of the day, a strong, connected marriage doesn’t happen by accident—it happens on purpose.
This season may be full, fast, and even overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to cost you your marriage.
Stay intentional. Stay connected. And don’t lose sight of what matters most. We'd love to hear from you. Share your thoughts and comments below. - jay & amy
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This Sunday starts what many commonly refer to as Holy Week. Simply put, Holy Week is the final days of Jesus' earthly ministry. This time includes his arrival into Jerusalem, the last meal with his followers, his arrest, trial, crucifixion, burial, and resurrection on Easter Sunday. It all kicks off this Sunday with Palm Sunday.
If you are from a traditional church that utilizes the Liturgy and the church calendar, you might be familiar with Holy Week. But if you are new to the faith, church, or you attend a more non-traditional church, you might be wondering what Holy Week is and why it's such an important week.
You might also be wondering why I used terms like traditional and non-traditional church. Well, a traditional church might be a church associated with a denominational connection. These would be churched that refer to themselves as Presbyterian, Methodist, Lutheran, Baptist, of Catholic. A non-traditional church might consider themselves as non-denominational or independent. Traditional churches generally, maintain or follow a Liturgical or church calendar that marks specific seasons, celebrations, and/or sacred days throughout the year. Some non-traditional churches choose to step away from those "traditions." Whether traditional or non-traditional, what's most important is that the church stay faithful to the gospel of Jesus Christ while maintaining Biblical teaching.
But what is Holy Week, and how do I share this with my kids?
That's a great question. As we've said, Holy Week marks the week between Palm Sunday, when Jesus enters Jerusalem to cheers and palms while riding the colt of a donkey. Easter Sunday or Resurrection Sunday is when he is raised from the tomb to life. Consider these two videos. The first, the video just above, is from the question and answer website of GotQuestions.com, an online resources that answers questions relating to the Bible, church, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and faith. They do a great job explaining Holy Week, also known as Passion Week.
The second, the video below, is from Phil Vischer's, What's In the Bible, video series. Phil is the co-creator of VeggieTales and What's In the Bible, a video series that teaches kids the Bible. In the video below, Phil and his friends talk about Easter and the importance of what Jesus did for us on the cross. The video is really helpful and great to watch with your kids.
Hopefully you now have a better understanding of what Holy Week is, and why we take time to reflect and celebrate the events of this week. If you still have questions I would suggest you reach out to your pastor, youth pastor, or kids pastor and ask them to help you better understand Holy Week.
If you are not connected with a church, feel free to email us here at Life in the Higham House. We would be happy to help you in any way we can. You can also leave a question in the comments below! Be sure to join us starting this Sunday, as we begin Family Devotions for Holy Week! It's going to be a great week. Happy Easter! - jay & amy
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- Thursday, February `12, 2026
We're back with part two of the Parenting in Real Life episodes with, The Fails. Back in episode 3, we talked about The Wins (Parenting in Real Life: The Wins). As we look back, these are the moments that make us smile. But for every win there is a fail, moments when looking back we wish we would have handled differently. In this episode we're sharing stories and the lessons learned from our parenting fails. Listen to episode 9What We learned
Point 1: We’re Not Perfect — Parenting Is On-the-Job Training
God never asked us to be perfect parents—He asks us to be faithful and teachable ones.
Point 2: Be Quick to Ask for Forgiveness So You Can Be Quick to Give Forgiveness
One of the greatest gifts we give our kids is showing them how to repair what’s broken.
Point 3: Let Go of Guilt, Shame, and Regret — Embrace God’s Grace and Forgiveness
Shame keeps us stuck in the past, but grace invites us forward.
Discussion questions
Take the podcast to the next step and download out discussion questions. Use these questions to talk with your spouse. Download the questions here: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS.
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We were recently asked a question that has stayed with us: “What is the biggest risk factor to kids in this generation that is leaning or turning them away from God?”
It’s a big question—one that deserves more than a quick, simple response. The temptation is to immediately point to culture, technology, or “the world today,” but we think wisdom requires us to pause, reflect, and respond with both truth and humility. As we've thought about this question, two foundational realities continue to come into focus. First: We Are Not in Control of Our
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In episode three we talk about celebrating the parenting wins in family life. From defining a win to sharing some of our most memorable moments and family wins. Jay and Amy sit down and share stories from the Higham House. Pull a chair up to the table, and join us for Gathered in the Higham House.
Listen to episode 3
Some of our favorite resources
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www.Facebook.com/lifeinthehighamhouse www.Instagram.com/lifeinthehighamhouse www.YouTube.com/@lifeinthehighamhouse Countdown to Christmas
The holidays are coming. Get ready for our annual Countdown to Christmas! Starting Monday, November 3rd, we will begin posting about the holidays as we prepare to celebrate the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons.
Family traditions. Holiday ideas. Resources. Family fun. Don't miss as we celebrate, Countdown to Christmas 2025! - jay & amy |
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I am often struck by how the fathers/grandfathers are remembered by the family members; particularly the by their kids. I listen as they recount the things that made their loved one so special. I usually find myself considering my own role of husband, father, and friend. I listen to learn. To ask questions. To evaluate. To be better. To do better. Here are a few things I've learned over the years.
Be Intentional
Every day we live is one less day to live. A morbid thought, but true. It always impressed me how these men lived intentional lives. With their families, with their friends, and with Jesus. That intentionality left a mark in those the loved. Living each day to take advantage of the time we have with those we care about reminds us to live intentionally.
As a husband, am I intentional with my wife; building her up, loving her well, and encouraging her to be all God has created her to be? As a father, am I intentional with my kids; encouraging their dreams and ambitions, pointing them towards Jesus, and loving them with grace, mercy and patience? As a friend and leader within the church and community, am I intentional in caring for others and leading them to the feet of Jesus? I want to take advantage of every moment I have with the ones I love and care about. |
Say the Hard Words
I don't want my family to assume that I love them, or that I am proud of them. I want them to know with certainty that they are loved. That only comes when it's said. And, that only happens when we say the hard words.
Be present
My wife, my kids, those I serve and work with, I want them to know that they are valued, that I care, and that they time and my time are worth being with them. I want to be present not just with. I want to engage, share, and be a part of their world, not just someone who says yes or no.
Have Fun
Have fun. There are two memorials that I remember for two exceptional men. As I listened to the stories of these men/fathers, I heard of trips, holidays, and moments of daily life, and I sensed that these men looked to create and have fun. I love this. And to be honest, it's probably something I need to work on. Over the last 10 years, we have tried to create more moments of family fun. And while I think we've been better at creating fun, having fun is something that we could always use more of!
Even as I type this blog post, my mind is in overdrive thinking how we can have more fun. And not just planned fun, but the spontaneous fun that happens at random. The fun that happens when you're not expecting it. The fun that leads to uncontrollable laughter and unforgettable memories. I want to look for more moments of fun.
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Laugh a Lot
As we look forward to the holidays, I am hoping for those moments as we sit around the dinner table, exchanging stories, watching as our kids laugh together. It's going to be great.
Talk About Our Faith
But faith also needs to be a conversation. And we need to have more conversations. Conversations to lead to heart-change, which leads to life-change, which leads to discipleship, which leads to a life living for Jesus. More conversations. More talk about faith. More opportunities to see Jesus in the lives of our kids.
- jay
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