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One of my favorite things about summer isn't the
vacations or the cookouts—it's the slower pace. 
The school schedule eases up. Evenings stretch a little longer. Family road trips create hours together in the car. Backyard campfires replace homework. Walks around the neighborhood replace rushing from one activity to the next.
Those slower moments create something parents desperately need: space for conversation. Some of the most meaningful conversations Amy and I have had with our kids didn't happen because we planned a family meeting. They happened while driving home from camp, sitting around the fire pit, fishing, eating ice cream, or simply folding laundry together. resources for parents
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Summer gives us those moments if we're willing to notice them. As summer winds down and we begin thinking about going back to school, here are five conversations every parent should make time for before the season comes to an end.
1. Let's Talk About Friendships
Friendships shape our kids more than we often realize. As parents, we hope our children are surrounding themselves with friends who encourage them and help them grow in the best ways.
Talk to your kids about their friendships. Get to know who they spend their time with. Ask questions that go beyond, "Who are your friends?" Try asking:
These questions help children think beyond popularity and begin recognizing the qualities of healthy relationships. As followers of Jesus, we want our kids to become friends who show kindness, grace, forgiveness, and encouragement—not simply find friends who do those things for them. Spending time talking about friendships helps our kids learn not only how to make good friends, but how to be one. 2. Let's Talk About Faith
Summer camps, mission trips, VBS, and even family vacations often spark spiritual conversations. As your kids share stories from their summer experiences, they also open the door to share what they're learning about God.
Don't settle for responses like, "Camp was fun," or, "The mission trip was great." Dive a little deeper. And don't assume you already know where your child is spiritually. Instead, ask:
Parents sometimes feel pressure to have every answer. \You don't. Sometimes the most powerful response is simply: "That's a great question. Let's discover the answer together." Your children don't need perfect parents. They need parents who are willing to keep pursuing Jesus alongside them. 3. Let's Talk About Technology
Technology is a significant part of our lives, and as it continues to advance, it will only become more integrated into our everyday routines. We often hear conversations about limiting screen time, protecting our kids from online dangers, and establishing healthy boundaries.
Those conversations are important. However, our job isn't simply to limit screens—it's to teach wisdom. We want to help our children see technology as a tool that, when used wisely, can accomplish a great deal of good. Ask questions like:
These conversations build trust long before a problem appears. Rather than making technology the enemy, help your children learn to use it in ways that honor Christ and protect their hearts. 4. Let's Talk About Character and Integrity
Achievements come and go. Character and Integrity lasts.
As our kids grew up, Amy and I continually reinforced the idea that character and integrity matter. These virtues speak to the condition of a person's heart. They reveal who someone truly is. We taught our kids that who they are around other people should be the same as who they are when no one is watching. That their "yes" should be yes, and their "no" should be no. That promises should be kept and commitments honored. Summer provides plenty of opportunities to notice character in everyday life. Watch how your children interact with siblings, friends, neighbors, and with you. When you see them demonstrating honesty, kindness, humility, or perseverance, point it out. Celebrate it. Use examples from the life of Jesus to encourage those qualities to continue growing. Talk about:
Celebrate moments when you see these qualities growing. Correct gently when they're missing. Remember, our goal isn't raising successful kids. Our goal is raising adults who love Jesus and reflect His character wherever they go. 5. Let's Talk About the Future
Kids dream big.
Sometimes those dreams change every week. Sometimes those dreams become reality. Dreams often become plans, goals, and eventually a roadmap for what's next. Take time this summer to talk with your kids about the future. Encourage them to think about how God might use them during the coming school year—with classmates, teammates, teachers, and friends. Ask questions like:
Notice that last question. It's far more important than asking what they want to do. Our identity is found in Christ before it's ever found in a career. Help your children imagine a future where they use their gifts to serve God and love others wherever He leads them. resources for the family
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You Don't Need Perfect Questions
Sometimes parents worry they'll say the wrong thing. The truth is, your kids probably won't remember every question you asked.
They'll remember that you cared enough to ask. They'll remember that Mom and Dad listened. They'll remember feeling safe enough to share what was on their hearts. The goal isn't a perfect conversation. The goal is an ongoing relationship where talking about life—and talking about Jesus—is simply part of what your family does together. This summer, don't miss the opportunities hidden in the ordinary moments:
Those moments may become the conversations your children remember for the rest of their lives. A Simple Family Challenge
Before summer ends, schedule five intentional conversations with your child—one around each of these topics.
They don't have to be long. Ten meaningful minutes can make a lasting impact. Put the phones away. Ask a question. Listen more than you speak. Then pray together before the conversation ends. You might be surprised what God does through one simple conversation. We'd Love to Continue the Conversation
Every family has a story, and we'd love to hear yours. Which of these five conversations comes most naturally in your home? Which one is the hardest? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments below—we read every one, and your story may encourage another family.
If this post encouraged you, we'd love for you to stick around. Here at Life in the Higham House, we share practical encouragement for families, parents, marriages, and faith through our weekly blog, our family vlog, and the Gathered in the Higham House podcast. Our hope is simple: to help families pursue Jesus, love one another well, and find joy in the everyday moments of life. Be sure to subscribe, follow along, and share this post with another parent who could use a little encouragement today. We'd love to have you around the table with us. Grace and peace, Jay & Amy Higham 
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For many people, summer feels like a slower season. For youth leaders, it often feels like organized chaos. Summer camps. Mission trips. Vacation Bible School. Cookouts. Pool parties. Leadership planning. Parent meetings. Fall calendar preparation. Budget requests. Volunteer recruitment.
Even when our weekly programming slows down, ministry rarely does. And somewhere in the middle of it all, we convince ourselves that rest can wait until "things settle down." The problem is... they rarely do. Ministry Was Never Meant to Be a Marathon Without Rest
Somewhere along the way, many of us began believing a dangerous lie:
The busier I am, the more faithful I must be. I remember that, as a younger youth pastor, busyness meant fruitfulness. A full calendar pointed to a successful ministry. Extra time spent with students suggested I was engaged, effective, and well-liked. All the marks of a healthy and vibrant ministry, right? Wrong. Sometimes the pressures of ministry—whether real or self-imposed—lead us to believe it's all about the doing. But Scripture paints a very different picture. From the very beginning, God established a rhythm of work and rest. Before Israel had kings or prophets, before the Church was born, and before Jesus called His disciples, God gave His people the gift of Sabbath. It wasn't because He needed it. It was because we do. Sabbath reminds us that ministry belongs to God—not to us. The Church (both Big "C" and little "c") existed before we arrived, and by God's grace, it will continue long after we're gone. Busy isn't the roadmap to better ministry. Jesus Rested. Why Don't We?
One of the most encouraging realities in the Gospels is that Jesus regularly stepped away from the busyness of ministry. He often withdrew to lonely places to pray. He slept in the middle of a storm. He invited His disciples to "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while" (Mark 6:31). He intentionally made time with His Father a priority.
If the Son of God intentionally created margin, why do we feel guilty for doing the same? Rest isn't laziness. Rest is trust. Every time we stop working, we're reminded that God never does. 
Sometimes the Most Spiritual Word Is "No"
This one is hard for those of us in ministry.
We love people. We want to help. We don't want to disappoint anyone. So we say yes. Yes to one more meeting. Yes to another event. Yes to another student. Yes to another committee. Eventually, our calendars become so full that there's little room left for the people God has already entrusted to us. Even worse, we begin neglecting our own time with Him. Sometimes saying NO to one opportunity allows you to say a better YES somewhere else. A healthy ministry doesn't require your availability every hour of every day. Healthy boundaries don't weaken ministry—they sustain it. Get comfortable saying no. 
Recognizing Ministry Fatigue
Burnout rarely happens overnight.
It usually arrives quietly. You begin losing joy in things you once loved. You feel emotionally exhausted before the week even begins. You find yourself serving out of obligation instead of calling. Even students begin to feel like another task instead of people you genuinely love. If that sounds familiar, don't ignore it. Fatigue isn't failure. It's often your soul asking for attention. The healthiest thing you may do this summer isn't planning a better fall calendar. It might be taking a deep breath, sitting quietly with Jesus, and allowing Him to restore your heart. Your Family Needs You Too
This one hits close to home for me.
We've spent years serving students. We've watched countless games, camps, retreats, mission trips, and late-night conversations become opportunities for ministry. And we wouldn't trade those moments. But we've also learned something important. Our first ministry isn't our church. It's our home. Your spouse doesn't need what's left after ministry. Your children shouldn't always receive the exhausted version of you while everyone else gets your best energy. One of the greatest gifts you can give your family this summer is simply your presence. It's not a perfect vacation. It's not an expensive trip. They want your attention. They want you. Eat dinner together. Take evening walks. Sit around a campfire. Go for ice cream. Turn your phone off for an afternoon. Your family doesn't need a celebrity pastor. They need you. 
Practical Ways to Rest This Summer
If you're wondering where to begin, consider one or more of these simple practices.
None of these things are wasted time. They're investments in the person God has called you to be. Rest Is an Act of Faith
Youth leaders are some of the most generous people I know. You give your evenings. Your weekends. Your emotional energy. Your prayers. Your heart.
But remember this: You are not only a pastor. You are also a son or daughter of God. Before He called you to ministry, He called you to Himself. Your identity has never been found in attendance numbers, camp registrations, or successful events. It is found in Christ. This summer, give yourself permission to rest. Trust that God can shepherd His Church while He restores your soul. The students you serve need a healthy youth leader. Your church needs a healthy pastor. Your family needs a healthy spouse and parent. And your Heavenly Father delights in meeting you—not only in your work—but also in your rest. Remember, your students don't need a superhero. They need a shepherd. And shepherds who regularly sit with the Good Shepherd will always have more to offer than those who never slow down long enough to be with Him. Challenge
Before this week ends, schedule one block of uninterrupted time with your family—and one block of uninterrupted time with Jesus. Protect both as intentionally as you would your most important ministry event.
Discussion Questions
Simple ideas organized by budget—because the best summer memories don't require a screen.
There’s nothing wrong with a family movie night or an occasional afternoon with a tablet. Technology can be a wonderful tool. But if we're honest, some of our favorite childhood memories happened far away from a screen.
We remember riding bikes until the streetlights came on, catching lightning bugs, building forts in the woods, and spending Saturday nights talking around a campfire. Those moments didn't happen because someone planned the perfect day. They happened because we weren't attached to a screen 24/7. Kids went outside to play with other kids and families did things together. For my family (Jay), we spent many a summer weekend camping. For my family (Amy), it was the Maryland beaches. We were out and about. We were active, doing things with our friends. It wasn't always planned. But it was great. This summer, don't worry about creating a picture-perfect vacation. Focus on creating moments that help your family laugh, explore, and connect. Here are 20 screen-free activities organized by budget to help you make the most of the season. FREE Family Adventures
4. Library Scavenger Hunt
Most libraries offer free summer programs. Create a scavenger hunt by finding books about different countries, animals, Bible characters, or historical events before checking them out together. 5. Family Bike Ride Whether it's through a park, along a trail, or just around the neighbor, go for a ride. Don't forget to check the tires and bring your helmets. 
6. Backyard Campout
Drag that old tent out from the garage. Set it up in the backyard and enjoy a night under the star. Bring along a a star chart and see what stars you can find. 7. Visit a Local Playground You've Never Been To All around where we live, the community parks have or are updating their playgrounds. Make a plan to visit a different playground each week. Then rate the playground most to least favorite. 8. Nature Scavenger Hunt. Take a look around where you live. Notice a few key locations, trees, or unique places. Or go to a local park. Put together a scavenger hunt. Find things like five different leaves, a feather, a flower. See if you can spot a butterfly, three birds, or a squirrel or chipmunk. Look for something red, something smooth, something old, and something new. 9. Watch the Sunset Together Bring lawn chairs, snacks, and simply enjoy God's creation. 10. Family Game Tournament Spend an evening playing board games, card games, or yard games and crown a family champion. Family Adventures for Under $25
These activities require only a small investment but can create memories that last for years.
11. Ice Cream Date I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice scream! Pick a local ice cream shop and let everyone try a new flavor. And, don't forget the rainbow sprinkles. 12. Farmers Market Challenge Give each family member $5 and see who can find the most interesting item. When the have their picks, share with everyone. If you find a "new" food item, serve it up with dinner! 13. Mini Golf Night Our family used to really enjoy a round of mini golf. In fact, for a couple of years, it was part of our family vacation; the Higham Family Golf Tournament! Find a mini golf course nearby and have some fun! Here is a link to one of our vacation Higham Family Golf Tournaments. 14. DIY Pizza Night Another family favorite comes from the kitchen. Assemble your family's favorite pizza ingredients and let them have at it, creating their very own pizza. We have done this with our grandkids, and they loved. Everyone creates their own pizza masterpiece to taste and share. 15. Dollar Store Challenge We tried this activity with our kids when they were little, only it wasn't the dollar store, but Five Below. At the start of the summer we visited our local store. Each kids has $5 to spend. They can buy any item they want to have or use for the summer. You can do the same by visiting your local dollar store and allowing your kids to pick out something fun. 
16. Splash Pad Adventure
This could be a low cost or a free activity depending on where you live. With many communities building new playgrounds, new pools and splash pads are also being constructed. Check out around your community and see if you can find a splash pad near you. 17. Picnic at the Park Pack sandwiches instead of buying lunch. Grab a frisbee or football, or a baseball and mitt and play catch. Prepare one of the activities from above such as a scavenger hunt or a hike. 18. Kite Flying A simple kite and an open field can entertain kids for hours. 19. Backyard Water Day Turn on the sprinkler, fill some water balloons, or create a homemade slip-and-slide. Sometimes the simplest activities become the favorites. 20. Community Event Many towns offer free concerts, outdoor movies, festivals, or art events throughout the summer. Check your local calendar before the season slips away. The Goal Isn't Less Screen Time...
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Wake up 30 minutes early. Grab coffee from your favorite local shop—or simply sit on the porch with homemade coffee before the kids wake up.
No agenda. No distractions. Just conversation. Ask each other:
Sometimes thirty uninterrupted minutes can reconnect two hearts. |
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2. Wander Through a Farmers Market
There's something refreshing about slowing down together. And while it might take a little bit of planning, it can be done. For instance, consider stopping to walk through a farmers market.
The goal isn't shopping. It's enjoying life together.
Leave your schedule behind for an hour and simply enjoy being together.
- Sample fresh produce.
- Buy flowers.
- Find homemade bread.
- Split a pastry.
The goal isn't shopping. It's enjoying life together.
Leave your schedule behind for an hour and simply enjoy being together.
3. Go on a Dessert Run
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Not every date has to last three hours. Quick and spontaneous can often fill up the 'Love Bank".
Sometimes all you need is:
Drop the kids off with grandparents for forty-five minutes. Or wait until they fall asleep, then have an older sibling, a sitter, or a family member come stay at the house. Then, drive to a local cafe, bakery, restaurant, or ice cream shoppe and enjoy a dessert together. Simple moments become meaningful memories. |
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4. Turn the Front Porch Into a Date Night
One of the best places to reconnect might already be outside your front door. Grab a couple of lawn chairs. Light a candle. Turn on string lights. Pour your favorite drinks. Then just talk.
Dream together. Laugh together. Pray together.
Marriage often grows best in ordinary conversations.
Dream together. Laugh together. Pray together.
Marriage often grows best in ordinary conversations.
5. Pack a Sunset Picnic
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This one is a total classic. Pick up some takeout. Bring a blanket. Find a local park, overlook, or lakeshore. Then go and have a late evening picnic.
Leave the phones in the car. Watch the sunset. Catch up. The world moves fast. Summer moves fast. Your marriage doesn't have to. |
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Why These Small Moments Matter
Marriage isn't strengthened only during anniversaries or vacations. It's strengthened through hundreds of ordinary choices that quietly say, "I still choose you."
Those little conversations become trust. Those shared laughs become friendship. Those intentional dates become memories your children notice more than you realize.
One day your kids will leave home. When they do, your greatest relationship won't be your role as parents—it will be your relationship as husband and wife. Invest in it now.
Those little conversations become trust. Those shared laughs become friendship. Those intentional dates become memories your children notice more than you realize.
One day your kids will leave home. When they do, your greatest relationship won't be your role as parents—it will be your relationship as husband and wife. Invest in it now.
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A Summer Marriage Challenge
Before this week ends, schedule one date. Not someday. Not "when things calm down."
Today. Write it on the calendar. Protect it. Show up for it. Your marriage is worth it.
What date ideas would add to the list? Leave your ideas in the comments below.
- jay & amy
Today. Write it on the calendar. Protect it. Show up for it. Your marriage is worth it.
What date ideas would add to the list? Leave your ideas in the comments below.
- jay & amy
discussion questions
- What was one of your favorite dates when you first started dating?
- Which summer date idea sounds most enjoyable to you right now?
- What tends to distract you from investing in your marriage?
- How can you intentionally encourage your spouse this week?
- What one habit could help your marriage stay strong throughout the rest of the summer?
There is something about summer that makes us want to create unforgettable memories for our families. We scroll through social media and see elaborate vacations, picture-perfect adventures, and bucket lists packed with activities.
But when I think back to my own childhood, the moments I remember most weren't the expensive ones.
I remember simple traditions.
But when I think back to my own childhood, the moments I remember most weren't the expensive ones.
I remember simple traditions.
The little things that happened over and over again. The routines that made summer feel special. The moments that reminded me that I belonged.
As parents, we don't have to create a Pinterest-worthy summer to build meaningful memories. Often, it's the simple traditions that leave the deepest impact.
As parents, we don't have to create a Pinterest-worthy summer to build meaningful memories. Often, it's the simple traditions that leave the deepest impact.
1. Backyard Movie Nights
Hang a sheet on the fence, pull out a projector, spread out blankets, and make popcorn.
It doesn't have to be fancy. Your kids won't remember if the picture quality was perfect. They'll remember laughing together under the stars.
2. Ice Cream Dates
Pick one evening each week to head out for ice cream.
Let each child take turns choosing the destination. Use the drive there to ask questions, listen to stories, and simply enjoy being together. Sometimes discipleship happens over sprinkles and waffle cones.
Hang a sheet on the fence, pull out a projector, spread out blankets, and make popcorn.
It doesn't have to be fancy. Your kids won't remember if the picture quality was perfect. They'll remember laughing together under the stars.
2. Ice Cream Dates
Pick one evening each week to head out for ice cream.
Let each child take turns choosing the destination. Use the drive there to ask questions, listen to stories, and simply enjoy being together. Sometimes discipleship happens over sprinkles and waffle cones.
3. Campfires and Conversations
Whether it's in your backyard fire pit or at a campsite, campfires create space for connection.
Roast marshmallows. Tell stories. Share highs and lows from the week. As the distractions fade, conversations often deepen.
4. Sunset Walks
Take a walk after dinner and leave the phones behind. Notice God's creation together.
Talk about your day. Pray as you walk. The pace of summer offers opportunities to slow down and simply be present.
Whether it's in your backyard fire pit or at a campsite, campfires create space for connection.
Roast marshmallows. Tell stories. Share highs and lows from the week. As the distractions fade, conversations often deepen.
4. Sunset Walks
Take a walk after dinner and leave the phones behind. Notice God's creation together.
Talk about your day. Pray as you walk. The pace of summer offers opportunities to slow down and simply be present.
5. Family Game Tournaments
Choose a game for the summer and keep a running championship bracket. Card games. Board games. Cornhole. Ping pong. Friendly competition has a way of creating inside jokes and lasting memories.
6. Pancake Saturdays
There's something special about waking up to the smell of pancakes. Try different toppings. Let the kids help cook. Invite grandparents over. Simple rhythms often become cherished traditions.
Choose a game for the summer and keep a running championship bracket. Card games. Board games. Cornhole. Ping pong. Friendly competition has a way of creating inside jokes and lasting memories.
6. Pancake Saturdays
There's something special about waking up to the smell of pancakes. Try different toppings. Let the kids help cook. Invite grandparents over. Simple rhythms often become cherished traditions.
7. Summer Reading Nights
Pile onto the couch and read together. Choose a family devotional, a chapter book, or even let each child share something they've been reading. Shared stories have a way of drawing families closer.
8. Yes Days
Set aside one day each month where the kids help choose the activities. Visit a park. Have a picnic. Build a blanket fort. Within reasonable boundaries, let them lead the adventure.
Pile onto the couch and read together. Choose a family devotional, a chapter book, or even let each child share something they've been reading. Shared stories have a way of drawing families closer.
8. Yes Days
Set aside one day each month where the kids help choose the activities. Visit a park. Have a picnic. Build a blanket fort. Within reasonable boundaries, let them lead the adventure.
9. Serve Together
Summer isn't just about fun; it's also an opportunity to teach compassion. Bake cookies for a neighbor. Volunteer at church. Write encouraging notes. When families serve together, children learn that faith is something we live out.
10. End-the-Day Gratitude
Before bed, ask one simple question: "What was your favorite part of today?"
Celebrate the little moments. Thank God for His goodness. Help your children recognize the blessings woven throughout ordinary days. Gratitude changes how we experience life.
Summer isn't just about fun; it's also an opportunity to teach compassion. Bake cookies for a neighbor. Volunteer at church. Write encouraging notes. When families serve together, children learn that faith is something we live out.
10. End-the-Day Gratitude
Before bed, ask one simple question: "What was your favorite part of today?"
Celebrate the little moments. Thank God for His goodness. Help your children recognize the blessings woven throughout ordinary days. Gratitude changes how we experience life.
The Traditions That Shape Us
When you think about your own childhood, what do you remember? Maybe it was family vacations. Maybe it was late-night talks on the porch. Maybe it was pizza and movie nights every Friday.
The traditions that shape us are often simple, consistent moments of connection. This summer, resist the pressure to make everything extraordinary. Instead, focus on being intentional.
Your children won't remember every detail of every summer activity. But they will remember how they felt. They'll remember that they were loved. That they belonged. That their family made time for one another. Those are the traditions worth building.
The traditions that shape us are often simple, consistent moments of connection. This summer, resist the pressure to make everything extraordinary. Instead, focus on being intentional.
Your children won't remember every detail of every summer activity. But they will remember how they felt. They'll remember that they were loved. That they belonged. That their family made time for one another. Those are the traditions worth building.
Resources we love
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Family Discussion Questions
- What are some of your favorite summer memories from childhood?
- Which traditions would you like to start as a family this year?
- What traditions have we already created without realizing it?
- How can we make space for more connection this summer?
- What is one simple thing we can do this week to make a memory together?
Summer Challenge
Choose one new tradition from this list and try it this week. Keep it simple. Because the moments your kids remember forever usually aren't the biggest ones. They're the ones where they knew they were loved.
Do you have summer traditions? Share them in the comments below!
In His Grace,
- Jay & Amy
In His Grace,
- Jay & Amy
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Since our move to Ohio, our kayaks have been in need of a new storage system. In WV, they were stored in slings from the ceiling of our garage. But that system isn't something we can use right now. So, it's time to build something new. Here we go.
Kayak Rack Build
Did you enjoy the video? We have plenty more.
Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube Channel.
Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube Channel.
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Season One Finale
What a journey it's been.
In this special Season One finale, Jay and Amy take a walk down memory lane as they reflect on the first nine episodes of Gathered in the Higham House. From stories of parenting wins and fails to conversations about marriage, faith, traditions, and family life, this season has been a reminder that God often does His best work in the ordinary moments around the table.
Join us as we revisit some of our favorite conversations, share what life has looked like lately in the Higham House, and talk about what God has been teaching our family through this season of life and ministry. We'll also give you a sneak peek at what's ahead in Season Two—including new topics, deeper conversations, special guests, and practical encouragement for families seeking to follow Jesus together.
Whether you've been with us since Episode One or you're just discovering the podcast, we're so glad you're here. Thank you for gathering with us.
Do you have questions about family, parenting, marriage, ministry, or faith? We'd love to hear them! Your questions may be featured in a future episode of Gathered in the Higham House.
In this special Season One finale, Jay and Amy take a walk down memory lane as they reflect on the first nine episodes of Gathered in the Higham House. From stories of parenting wins and fails to conversations about marriage, faith, traditions, and family life, this season has been a reminder that God often does His best work in the ordinary moments around the table.
Join us as we revisit some of our favorite conversations, share what life has looked like lately in the Higham House, and talk about what God has been teaching our family through this season of life and ministry. We'll also give you a sneak peek at what's ahead in Season Two—including new topics, deeper conversations, special guests, and practical encouragement for families seeking to follow Jesus together.
Whether you've been with us since Episode One or you're just discovering the podcast, we're so glad you're here. Thank you for gathering with us.
Do you have questions about family, parenting, marriage, ministry, or faith? We'd love to hear them! Your questions may be featured in a future episode of Gathered in the Higham House.
Listen to Episode 1o
* THIS POST CONTAINS BOTH AFFILIATE AND PRODUCT LINKS,
ALONG WITH LINKS TO THIRD PARTY WEBSITES AND VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THE POST.*
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Amy and I have been talking a lot lately about the future of the Higham House. And we've realized that some of the moments that have shaped us the most weren't the big milestones. They were the everyday moments—family dinners, conversations around the kitchen table, serving together in ministry, praying through hard seasons, learning as we went. Those everyday moments changed everything...
Over the years we've shared blog posts, podcasts, family stories, ministry lessons, and all kinds of moments from life. But recently we've been asking ourselves, 'Why are we doing this?'
And we realized it's because we believe that the everyday moments of life often hold the most extraordinary opportunities for faith, discipleship, and spiritual growth.
We don't have it all figured out. We're still learning what it means to pursue Jesus, love one another, and raise a family in the middle of real life. But if our stories can encourage another marriage... another parent... another youth leader... then it's worth sharing.
So moving forward, you're going to see more of the real Higham House. The joys. The challenges. The lessons God is teaching us along the way.
Over the years we've shared blog posts, podcasts, family stories, ministry lessons, and all kinds of moments from life. But recently we've been asking ourselves, 'Why are we doing this?'
And we realized it's because we believe that the everyday moments of life often hold the most extraordinary opportunities for faith, discipleship, and spiritual growth.
We don't have it all figured out. We're still learning what it means to pursue Jesus, love one another, and raise a family in the middle of real life. But if our stories can encourage another marriage... another parent... another youth leader... then it's worth sharing.
So moving forward, you're going to see more of the real Higham House. The joys. The challenges. The lessons God is teaching us along the way.
Through stories, conversations, and practical encouragement, we want to invite others to gather with us in and around the Higham House as we pursue Jesus, love one another, and share the hope we've found along the way.
That's really what this is all about.
So if you're navigating marriage, parenting, ministry, or simply trying to follow Jesus faithfully in the everyday moments of life, we'd love for you to join us.
Pull up a chair. We'd love to gather with you around the Higham House.
- jay & amy
That's really what this is all about.
So if you're navigating marriage, parenting, ministry, or simply trying to follow Jesus faithfully in the everyday moments of life, we'd love for you to join us.
Pull up a chair. We'd love to gather with you around the Higham House.
- jay & amy
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ALONG WITH LINKS TO THIRD PARTY WEBSITES AND VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THE POST.*
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Every year, it happens.
Summer arrives with all kinds of expectations.
We imagine backyard barbecues where everyone gets along. Family vacations without meltdowns. Weekly adventures worthy of social media posts. A summer packed with memory-making moments that somehow leave everyone refreshed, connected, and ready for the next school year.
And then reality sets in.
Summer arrives with all kinds of expectations.
We imagine backyard barbecues where everyone gets along. Family vacations without meltdowns. Weekly adventures worthy of social media posts. A summer packed with memory-making moments that somehow leave everyone refreshed, connected, and ready for the next school year.
And then reality sets in.
Schedules conflict. Budgets are tight. The weather doesn't cooperate. Kids argue. Parents are exhausted. Ministry responsibilities continue. Work doesn't stop. The laundry still piles up.
Before we know it, the pressure to create the "perfect summer" can steal the joy of the summer we're actually living.
Maybe this is the summer we stop chasing perfection.
Maybe this is the summer we embrace what matters most.
Before we know it, the pressure to create the "perfect summer" can steal the joy of the summer we're actually living.
Maybe this is the summer we stop chasing perfection.
Maybe this is the summer we embrace what matters most.
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Let Go of Pinterest PerfectioN
We live in a world that constantly invites us to compare.
We scroll through photos of elaborate vacations, color-coordinated family outings, and endless lists of "must-do" summer experiences. While there is nothing wrong with creating special memories, comparison often leaves us feeling like we're falling short.
But the families our children remember most aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest adventures. They're the ones where they felt seen, loved, valued, and connected.
Your family doesn't need a picture-perfect summer.
They need you.
Present. Available. Engaged.
Comparison has a way of robbing us of gratitude for the gifts God has already placed in front of us. Instead of asking, "Are we doing enough?" perhaps we should ask, "Are we paying attention to the people God has entrusted to us?"
We scroll through photos of elaborate vacations, color-coordinated family outings, and endless lists of "must-do" summer experiences. While there is nothing wrong with creating special memories, comparison often leaves us feeling like we're falling short.
But the families our children remember most aren't necessarily the ones with the biggest adventures. They're the ones where they felt seen, loved, valued, and connected.
Your family doesn't need a picture-perfect summer.
They need you.
Present. Available. Engaged.
Comparison has a way of robbing us of gratitude for the gifts God has already placed in front of us. Instead of asking, "Are we doing enough?" perhaps we should ask, "Are we paying attention to the people God has entrusted to us?"
Choose Connection Over a Packed SchedulE
Summer calendars can fill up quickly. Sports camps. Church events. Vacation Bible School. Family reunions. Mission trips. Vacations. Sleepovers.
None of these things are bad. Many of them are wonderful opportunities.
But if we're not careful, we can become so busy making memories that we miss being present in them.
Children often spell love differently than adults do.
Adults tend to spell love A-C-H-I-E-V-E-M-E-N-T.
Kids often spell love T-I-M-E.
The goal of summer isn't to maximize every minute. It's to maximize meaningful moments.
Faith formation doesn't only happen during big events. It happens around dinner tables. On evening walks. In car rides. During ice cream runs. While watching fireflies dance in the backyard.
The ordinary moments often become the sacred ones.
None of these things are bad. Many of them are wonderful opportunities.
But if we're not careful, we can become so busy making memories that we miss being present in them.
Children often spell love differently than adults do.
Adults tend to spell love A-C-H-I-E-V-E-M-E-N-T.
Kids often spell love T-I-M-E.
The goal of summer isn't to maximize every minute. It's to maximize meaningful moments.
Faith formation doesn't only happen during big events. It happens around dinner tables. On evening walks. In car rides. During ice cream runs. While watching fireflies dance in the backyard.
The ordinary moments often become the sacred ones.
Focus on a Few Intentional Moments
What if, instead of trying to do everything this summer, your family chose just a few things to prioritize?
A weekly family movie night. Saturday morning pancakes. One family service project. A monthly adventure day. Reading Scripture together before bed.
Intentionality matters more than extravagance. Years from now, your children may not remember every activity on the calendar. But they will remember how your family made them feel. Were they welcomed? Were they heard? Did they laugh? Did they know they belonged?
Those moments shape families.
Summer doesn't have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. Sometimes wisdom looks like slowing down enough to notice the gifts we've already been given.
A weekly family movie night. Saturday morning pancakes. One family service project. A monthly adventure day. Reading Scripture together before bed.
Intentionality matters more than extravagance. Years from now, your children may not remember every activity on the calendar. But they will remember how your family made them feel. Were they welcomed? Were they heard? Did they laugh? Did they know they belonged?
Those moments shape families.
Summer doesn't have to be extraordinary to be meaningful. Sometimes wisdom looks like slowing down enough to notice the gifts we've already been given.
Create a Family Summer Bucket List
Rather than creating a summer checklist designed to impress others, create a bucket list designed to bring your family together.
Invite everyone to contribute ideas. Keep it simple. Keep it realistic. Most importantly, keep it focused on connection.
Summer Bucket List Ideas
Ask each family member, "What is one thing you hope we do together this summer?" You don't have to complete every item. The goal isn't accomplishment. The goal is togetherness.
Invite everyone to contribute ideas. Keep it simple. Keep it realistic. Most importantly, keep it focused on connection.
Summer Bucket List Ideas
- Have a backyard campfire and make s'mores.
- Watch a movie outside.
- Visit a local ice cream shop.
- Go on a family bike ride.
- Attend a minor league baseball game.
- Have a water balloon fight.
- Explore a new playground or park.
- Volunteer together as a family.
- Go on a prayer walk through your neighborhood.
- Watch the sunset together.
- Have breakfast for dinner.
- Spend one day completely screen-free.
- Visit the library and choose books together.
- Write encouraging notes to friends or neighbors.
- Build a blanket fort and play board games.
- Create a family gratitude jar.
- Take a day trip to somewhere nearby.
- Make homemade popsicles.
- Stargaze in the backyard.
Ask each family member, "What is one thing you hope we do together this summer?" You don't have to complete every item. The goal isn't accomplishment. The goal is togetherness.
A Final Thought
At the end of summer, your children probably won't remember whether everything went according to plan.
But they will remember whether they felt loved. Whether Mom and Dad laughed. Whether there was space to talk. Whether family time mattered.
So here's permission to release the pressure. Your family doesn't need a perfect summer.
They simply need you—showing up, slowing down, and choosing connection one intentional moment at a time. And maybe, just maybe, this imperfect summer will become the one you needed most.
At the end of summer, your children probably won't remember whether everything went according to plan.
But they will remember whether they felt loved. Whether Mom and Dad laughed. Whether there was space to talk. Whether family time mattered.
So here's permission to release the pressure. Your family doesn't need a perfect summer.
They simply need you—showing up, slowing down, and choosing connection one intentional moment at a time. And maybe, just maybe, this imperfect summer will become the one you needed most.
Family Discussion Questions
- What is one thing you hope our family does together this summer?
- What is one tradition you'd like to start?
- What helps you feel most connected as a family?
- What activity could we remove from our schedule to create more margin?
- How can we make space to grow closer to God together this summer?
- This Week's Challenge
- Gather your family around the dinner table and create your own Summer Bucket List.
- Choose 10 simple experiences that prioritize connection over perfection.
- Write them down.
- Hang the list on the refrigerator.
- Then enjoy the gift of an ordinary summer lived with extraordinary intention.
We'd love to hear from you. Leave a comment, question, or encourage below.
- jay & amy
- jay & amy
* THIS POST CONTAINS BOTH AFFILIATE AND PRODUCT LINKS,
ALONG WITH LINKS TO THIRD PARTY WEBSITES AND VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THE POST.*
ALONG WITH LINKS TO THIRD PARTY WEBSITES AND VIDEOS MENTIONED IN THE POST.*
In our post last week, STAYING CONNECTED TO YOUR SPOUSE IN THE CHAOS OF RAISING KIDS, we started a conversation that we hoped will be encouraging and helpful to parents who find themselves steeped in the busyness of raising kids. Marriage, our marriages, are super important and something we should be striving to keep healthy and a vibrant. We want to continue that conversation as we consider what it might look like to reconsider some simple priorities.
We know raising kids can consume everything. Having raised five of our own, we have walked through seasons of busyness. Schedules, practices, homework, meals, church events, bedtime routines… it can feel like it's nonstop. And somewhere in the middle of doing everything for your children, it becomes easy to slowly, quietly neglect your marriage.
Not intentionally. Not maliciously. Just gradually.
But here’s a truth worth holding onto: Raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage.
We know raising kids can consume everything. Having raised five of our own, we have walked through seasons of busyness. Schedules, practices, homework, meals, church events, bedtime routines… it can feel like it's nonstop. And somewhere in the middle of doing everything for your children, it becomes easy to slowly, quietly neglect your marriage.
Not intentionally. Not maliciously. Just gradually.
But here’s a truth worth holding onto: Raising kids is not a free pass to neglect your marriage.
Your Kids Are Watching More Than You Think
As parents, we often focus on what we say—the lessons, the correction, the encouragement. But your kids are learning just as much (if not more) from what they see.
They’re watching:
Your marriage is setting a living, breathing example of love, commitment, forgiveness, and respect. By making the time to put your marriage first, you show your kids what it looks like to live out your covenantal vows.
Remember, Your kids are watching your marriage as much as they’re listening to your words.
They’re watching:
- How you speak to each other
- How you handle conflict
- Whether you prioritize time together
- If your relationship feels like a partnership… or just a logistics team
Your marriage is setting a living, breathing example of love, commitment, forgiveness, and respect. By making the time to put your marriage first, you show your kids what it looks like to live out your covenantal vows.
Remember, Your kids are watching your marriage as much as they’re listening to your words.
A Short-Term Assignment vs. A Lifelong Covenant
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This one can be hard to hear in the thick of parenting, but it’s essential: Your kids are a short-term assignment. Your marriage is a lifelong covenant.
One day, your home will get quieter. The schedules will slow down. The bedrooms will empty. And when that season comes, what will be left? If all your time, energy, and attention went only to raising your kids, you may find yourselves sitting across from a stranger instead of a spouse. But that doesn’t have to be your story. God’s Design Was IntentionalIn Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded: “The two shall become one flesh.” Marriage was God’s idea—and it came before parenting. That order matters. Your relationship with your spouse wasn’t meant to be secondary. It was designed to be foundational. Strong marriages create stable homes. Healthy relationships model God’s love to your children in ways words never can |
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God’s Design Was Intentional
In Genesis 2:24, we’re reminded: “The two shall become one flesh.” Marriage was God’s idea—and it came before parenting. That order matters.
Your relationship with your spouse wasn’t meant to be secondary. It was designed to be foundational. Strong marriages create stable homes. Healthy relationships model God’s love to your children in ways words never can.
Your relationship with your spouse wasn’t meant to be secondary. It was designed to be foundational. Strong marriages create stable homes. Healthy relationships model God’s love to your children in ways words never can.
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Choosing to Invest in Your Marriage
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Reframing priorities doesn't mean loving your kids less - it means loving your spouse intentionally and consistently alongside raising your children.
It looks like:
These small, consistent choices build something lasting. |
The Goal Isn’t Just Surviving—It’s Thriving
You don’t just want to make it through the parenting years.
You want a marriage that:
Because one day, it will just be the two of you again. And the investment you make now will determine what that season looks like.
You want a marriage that:
- Is strong when the kids leave
- Feels connected, not distant
- Reflects commitment and love over decades
- Continues to grow, deepen, and thrive
Because one day, it will just be the two of you again. And the investment you make now will determine what that season looks like.
A Final Thought
Your kids need your love, your leadership, and your presence.
But they also need to see a marriage worth believing in. So in the middle of the chaos, don’t forget this:
The greatest gift you can give your children is not just a well-managed life—but a healthy, thriving marriage.
But they also need to see a marriage worth believing in. So in the middle of the chaos, don’t forget this:
The greatest gift you can give your children is not just a well-managed life—but a healthy, thriving marriage.
- jay & amy
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